So, without writing a massively lengthy backstory, Ds has had mutiple problems growing up with behaviour, social skills and schooling, excluded more times than I can remember, but never permanently. I have always believed he is top end asd.
He is currently with his other parent because his behaviour got too difficult to manage a year ago , but due to unforeseen circumstances he will have to come back to live with me and his siblings very soon.
He is currently in y9 and in his 3rd secondary school, first he had to leave as was geographically impossible for other parent to get Him there, 2nd put him on a managed move(who are not coping) and obviously he will have to start a 4th school when he comes back to me(this won’t be the 1st school as he’s missed too much of the specialised curriculum to rejoin).
I know he can’t cope in mainstream secondary, both parents have tried and failed to get paediatricians to formally test for anything (bar conners scale, and they simply say, oh yes he’s highly oppositional) and both lots of paediatricians(2 different counties) have said the exact same sentence- “he’s not asd as he makes good eye contact”!
Ideally I’d want him to come to me and go straight to the PRU, where they are experienced with children with emotional and behavioural problems, but beurocracy says I have to apply and be refused all schools in the area first before he could be considered.
I am thinking of visiting the schools, being very frank and open about his problems and how challenging he is and waiting for them to refuse the place when I formally apply, if both refused, I’m told I have to take both to appeal and I just wondered how appeals work, who gets the final say? Does what I say have any bearing? (I remember a friend a while ago having to go to appeal and she’s had to write massively long statements and statements from other people as to why’s her daughter should go there)
Any help, experience or advice appreciated.