Queenswood School, Hatfield

[Cobblersandhogwash]

So dd has been offered a place at Queenswood.

Does anyone have experience or knowledge of the school, please?

She's spent three days there so far. One sleepover, one exam day and most recently, a day there as a pupil.

She was so delighted to have been offered a place but after her day there yesterday, she was very subdued and said the other girls on her visit weren't at all friendly and that's put her off.

I've tried to explain that the other girls were probably feeling shy and gravitated towards people they already know.

Should I be even persuading her if she has doubts?

I do feel it’s important that your daughter’s feelings are taken into consideration but it should be her parents that make the final decision.

Is the day as a pupil session for those who ARE going or who are still deciding? If it’s the latter then there will invariably be some girls there with offers from other schools.

There is also the way that all people, not just children, will “clump” with people they know in foreign situations. We all do it. Think about a party or event you have been to recently. You probably wouldn’t have walked straight up to a total stranger when you first get there - you naturally gravitate towards the familiar.

At the end of the day, relationships between teenage girls are extremely fickle and I would imagine that even strong social bonds when they arrive do not last that long.

Don’t forget as well that this is a kind of forced situation. The girls wouldn’t have been grouped into their forms already and there would be some nerves.

I know that Queenswood send girls on an outward bound course in the first few weeks of joining to promote friendships and teamwork so I think they take it very seriously.

Do you have other offers? What is your preferred school? Assuming you got it right with her current school then follow your gut reaction on where she goes next.

Also be aware that if all her friends are going to another school then this might be impacting her decision. Would she be the only girl going there? Bound to be daunting. She also might be finding having responsibility for deciding too much for her.

Sorry, I don’t have direct experience of the school, but I do know a lot about how kids this age behave when faced with change.

Don’t make a decision that will leave your daughter traumatised if she ends up going there but you know your daughter best and if you feel it’s the right school then that’s a decision that you need to make.

Thank you for your advice.

I did say to dd that the girls attending are, like her, deliberating over their offer. And that not all would be going to Queenswood. And that people tend to gravitate to who they know.

She's been mad keen on the school up until this point.

We've another offer from another school, Abbots Hill, which she also likes but not as much as Queenswood.

There are waiting lists for both schools so she'll have to stick with any decision she makes.

She's got a couple of weeks to decide.

I have had DDs at Q, but not recently. However, there are day girls who come from quite a small number of prep schools and they, and their parents, will know each other and I think this may have coloured your DDs feelings about the day. It is natural for them to do this.

My DDs went there knowing no-one at all. They had no problems making friends and a lot of effort does indeed go into getting the girls to gel. I haven’t checked recently but they used to do a tennis competition and a BBQ for new girls and their parents fairly quickly in the first term so getting to know others is helped on its way.

There are always children who are a bit cliquey in any school but my DDs forged strong friendships there but they were both boarders. However the vast majority are day girls but friendships between all are quite normal. If your DD has done a sleepover, is she boarding?

I also agree with you making the decision. There are so many things to do there and you will find that girls make friends with those who have similar interests and obviously drama and sport are very strong. It is a very busy school and so many pupils do a lot whilst they are there. There used to be House suppers and all sorts of drama productions and concerts parents can attend as well as lunches for parents and sports matches. Go to as much as you can and join in, even if your DD is boarding.

My eldest DD is going on holiday with her Q school friends and will shortly be living with one. I really wouldn’t think this day was typical of what to expect at the school. Mine also went to South Africa on the exchange for a term and we really valued the opportunities the school gave to them.

Abbotts Hill has no 6th form and really isn’t in the same league as Q. I am interested that Q now has a waiting list. That’s a big change from a few years ago (the former Principal was not the best). If you can afford Q you are getting a school that has a healthy and high achieving 6th form with a great deal to offer every girl (if they have now improved their Art!!). Lots board in the 6th form and this is a real strength of the school. They are very well prepared for university.

Yes dd will board three nights a week at first. We will see how she gets on.

I was just alarmed by her suddenly reduced enthusiasm.

She will make her own friends, I'm sure, and it's convincing her of that. There are a couple of girls from her current school also going but I think she'd appreciate the opportunity to make new friends.

As a boarder she will. They are a cohesive group and it’s the best way to make friends. Neither of my DDs knew anyone at all. It really doesn’t matter and a taster day just isn’t the same as boarding.

I have seen the odd girl not like boarding and you can get the odd one who wishes they were somewhere else, every so often. All schools get this occasionally. Q gets children from other schools because they want a change. It happens.

I think they get a better deal as a boarder in terms of the fairly long day (which was shortened a few years ago) but also what they can do after school and no long journey home. At y11 DD1 had 12 extra activities as well as 11 GCSEs. She was engaged and ultra busy. She was, correctly, asked to cut down on the extras but it was a struggle to choose! However that all these options are available is such a strength of the school and so is the fact that parents are made very welcome. Hope your DD accepts!

I also hope they have changed the pullover supplier by now. They either stretched to fit an elephant or went as stiff as a board. Don’t trust the school wash either!

My ds friends sister goes there and it really is an amazing school. Used to be knows as the last chance if your dd couldn’t get into Habs/ST. Albans, but not no more! Gets great results, fantastic grounds and facilities and seen as more gentle. However the fees are very high (that’s my only reservation).
I’ve yet to meet a girl or parent who hasn’t rated it very highly.
The school is very good at including all girls (from what I have heard). I personally chose what school to send my ds, even though initially he disagreed now nearly 6 months later he couldn’t be happier. My instincts told me to go with the school which would suit his personality best and would stretch him also. Good luck deciding and congratulations to your daughter.

OP, just to add you were alarmed by her sudden reduced enthusiasm. Do you think that might also be because it seems more real now? And very soon she will be spending time away from home in a new environment? Perhaps she didn’t appreciate some of the girls were nervous and shy? I remember watching my son when he had a sample session for my preferred senior school for him and he and about thirty boys sat eating lunch in silence.
That really had him worried. It took a lot of persuasion to reassure him he would make friends and it was just daunting for them all. Of course, as always (well,nearly), I was right.

It has had very good results now for 10 years plus but no-one noticed! Obviously boarders weren’t looking at day schools and for them it was better value. As a day girl, there is so much on offer, going boarding makes more sense the busier the girls get.

Queenswood is a great school.

Dd went there. Great academic results - all As & A*s at GCSE & alevel.

Prepares them well for life I think. Gives them a well rounded education.

Maybe give them a ring & see if she can go & spend the day? They would be very accommodating I would think.