Help! A nice school for my 14 yr old son who's been excluded

[mugsie12]

Hi there

Can anyone recommend a nice nurturing school for my 14 year old who was asked to leave his last day school. He then tried state boarding but they didnt offer him a place. He's not easy - defiant and doesnt like authority but hes a good kid with a big heart so would love to hear if anyone has any ideas. We live in London and would look at boarding(preferably state!)

Why was he asked to leave? If it was for bad behaviour, is he in any way motivated to change his attitude - and are you 100% on board with that?

What is he good at?

Yes why was he asked to leave, what is causing his defiance?

Is it worth looking at Steiner schools who take a slightly different approach to things?

tbh I am not sure why you think boarding would be the best option for a child who has already been excluded and then wasn't offered a place at a boarding school following a trial?? Wouldn't it be better to find a school close by where you can be closely involved? Why was he excluded?

Steiner is really quite inflexible (though their undifferentiated curriculum being the least concern at secondary if he has behavioural issues, which might be a very poor fit for that model)

Why has he been excluded? I understand you might not want to answer that, but I ask in case you will because I think it is relevant - the nature of the issue might affect places which could be recommended. Also, for boarding - what sort of boy is he? What sorts of things would be present in a school which you would see as a good 'fit'?

Bryanston
St Chris Letchworth
Box hill
Bedes
Trying to think of places that may have a different educational approach

Don’t know it myself but this is the other one I was trying to think of
www.brockwood.org.uk

Most teenagers who are good kids with a big heart are not permanently excluded from school...

Why was he kicked out? That will be relevant to where will take him next.

Was he excluded from a state school, or asked to leave a private one?

Has he been seen by an ed psych? Surely to find a school that meets his needs best you need to have an accurate assessment of what those needs are. You could expect to pay anything over £600 for an assessment but it's not a huge sum if it avoids another wrong placement.

I don't care why he was excluded.
But maybe you could talk about what sets him off? What kind of environment is he least able to be his best in?

How much are you willing to sacrifice to get him into a school he will stick with? I mean, what if he only left with mediocre qualifications. Would that be okay since they might be his only qualifications?

For day school Danbury in Kingston might be worth a look

That should read Canbury canburyschool.co.uk

Does he actually need a 'nice nurturing school'?

Does he need a school that specialises in children with his particular behavioural difficulties?

Does he need a school with very strong structures and discipline?

Does his home environment help or hinder him in modifying his behaviour - in other words, would he do better in a residential setting, or a non-residential one that works in strong partnership with parents / carers?

Does he need a short period at a specific facility - for example a Pupil Referral Unit, or education by tutors who work specifically with excluded pupils - followed by re-integration into mainstream?

Does he need a modified curriculum in mainstream, based on a diagnosis of his specific educational needs? (bearing in mind that SEN can be behavioural, as well as academic)

In your position, I would look very carefully - with the help of an Ed Psych and his previous school(s) - at what he NEEDS (rather than what you might 'like' for him) and then look carefully at how this can be provided.

I knw children with SEN related to behaviour who have thrived in pretty much all the above scenarios ... though oddly enough, none in a 'nice nurturing school'.

How about a mid-range school with ex-military background like Pangbourne?