Offered place at first choice school

[UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter]

Well I never expected to receive an offer for my dd at this point.

She started yr7 in September and this was at our third choice school. She stayed on the wait list for first choice but after a full term really didn’t expect to be offered a place. Especially as it’s in an area with huge amounts of new housing and the spaces are highly coveted anyway.

The issue is that dd takes a while to settle into new things and isn’t a go with the flow kind. She’s settled in her current mixed sex school. Thankfully no issues friendship wise and she does seem to be doing at least as expected in subjects.

However as a parent there are many things I’m not happy with the school about.

Lack of communication and lack of enrichment, not a single trip, visitor or activity planned. Previous yr7 have had a number of trips including France, Harry potterstudios, visits from theatre companies etc.

My concerns for her changing schools are will the friendship groups already be set? Therefore making it difficult for her to fit in.

Sports teams. She plays for a couple of teams outside of school and really wanted to play in school.

And finally commuting. It is a fair distance from our house. Either a bus ride or less than ten minutes on the train. Whereas currently she walks with a group of friends and meets them at the shop in the street behind us. They all get in well despite not being in the same tutors or even lessons once they are at school

Has anyone wise moved a child in these circumstances?

changing schools isn't easy, but it would work, and she would cope if it is really the best thing.

At primary I think being able to walk to school is excellent, but at secondary, the quality of the school is more important.

Go back to your reasons for choosing the school originally and seriously look at how her current school matches it.
Be aware that secondary schools do communicate much much less than primary, it is a bit of a shock!. The key is rather what do they do when something goes wrong, and you probably haven't had a chance to test that.

I would also involve her at this point, do the pros and cons together.

Friendship groups won't be fixed after 1 term so discount that.

Commuting was a known issue when you placed it first originally, so discount that.

Sports teams - I can't work out from your post whether that is a positive or negative, but it is worth considering.

Trips? I can't get too excited about school trips to HP Studios, but complete lack of educational trips ever seems poor.

Communication. Is it better at the other school? How do you know? Secondary schools communicate less than primaries.

Finding settling hard is an issue to consider.

Plus I am inferring this would be a move from mixed to single sex? That sounds like a big consideration.

The one thing you haven't mentioned seems to be the actual education. If the new school isn't educationally better, maybe give your DD the choice? And if it is educationally better, surely everything else pales in comparison?

We do have two older dc so have been through the system before so to speak. Our eldest went to the school dd is at currently.

Ds2 is at a grammar school so a different school and system.

H says that we should just decline the place and not tell her but I feel we should speak to her. The time frame is an issue as we need to accept by 4pm tomorrow. The school is unable to offer a visit tomorrow so we would have to accept without re visiting the school to remind dd of the reasons why SHE chose it as first choice.

I feel that in a panic she will say no and may come to regret that given time to actually gather her thoughts and process the information.

Yes sorry I left a few important points out.

Move from mixed to single sex.

Teams she would like to continue to play for the school. The new school appears to take team sports more seriously than her current school which is a positive.

Educationally both schools are good but the new school has the edge.

It has better reputation as well. I’m not sure how important that is. Eg oh dd goes to xxxx lovely girls there, lovely school. V oh dd goes to zzzz (current school) and are you happy with zzzz? (Head tilt and ummm from the person asking)

First things first - you have 2 good choices. Neither will be a bad one.

10 mins on a train is neither here nor there, other kids might be making the same journey. OTOH there's a lot to be said for going to school in the community in which you live.

The process of change might be disruptive or unappealing to her, it is to most of us.

I think the way to do it is consider what opportunities will she miss if she stays at the school she is at. What made you think the first school was the right one for her? Oversubscription is often based on Ofsted/received wisdom/what friendship groups of parents are currently telling themselves at the time.... Are results markedly better? Did it seem to be a better fit for her in other ways?

Personally I'd move her considering the info you have provided.

I haven’t had chance to talk to her yet. Will have dinner and then speak to her without her brothers around.

Is the current school likely to be able to take her back if you move her and she hates it after say a term?if yes, I’d say it’s worth the risk.