Directionless

[AlwaysHungryAlwaysTired]

DS1 is academically pretty high-achieving and taking GCSEs this summer. He will stay on at his school for sixth form assuming he gets the grades. He achieves highly in all subjects and, while he has narrowed down his A level choices to the subjects he enjoys the most (Maths, Further Maths, English Lit, History or Politics), he has absolutely no idea what he will want to do after school, either in terms of studying at university or in terms of career.

He says it feels like everyone around him knows what they want to do - especially because he's at a boys' school and there is a lot of certainty amongst the Maths/Science lovers in terms of A levels and future career paths (lots of medicine/natural sciences/engineering talk going on).

Please reassure me that your children, including those who are very academically capable, don't all have their futures mapped out? I can't help worrying a little that, with no direction, he can't prepare for uni applications like others can. Many of them are already looking for relevant work experience in their chosen fields and he doesn't have a chosen field. Is he going to be at a disadvantage when applying for university if he has no idea what he wants to do 'when he's grown up'??? He might not have anything useful to put on a uni application especially since he shows no interest in reading around any subjects but would rather play on a playstation or watch re-runs of inane American tv shows... Should we be encouraging him to do more now? I don't want to add to any GCSE stress that might be lurking in the background, but don't want him to be disadvantaged because we haven't supported him enough in making decisions early enough...

His potential A level choices are wide enough to take him into finance, economics, law etc so still a profession. I would wait to see which A level grabs him at this point before encouraging super curricular.

For what it's worth I had no idea at school what I wanted to do. All As at O level so chose A levels I liked - French, Geography and Eng Lit. Qualified into law/as a solicitor as a mature student.

Thanks Allthebest

He's a mature 16 year old with great potential and I'm torn between feeling pleased that he's not putting himself under unnecessary stress/narrowing his choices too early/doing something to please an adult (which I'm sure some of his peers must be), and worrying that we aren't being pushy/supportive enough in helping him to find a clear direction. But really don't want him to do something to please anyone other than himself.

I'm the same as you - did an English degree out of love for it, made no early decisions, have enjoyed my career choices ever since. Just can't help worrying that if he suddenly decides to go for Law, or Politics, or PPE, that he'll be years behind the guys who chose those things at age 15 and whose parents started prepping their CVs/personal statements that early!!!

My DS2 chose his Pre U’s not knowing what he wanted to do, by November of yr 12 he decided he’d chosen the wrong ones but it was too late to change. He got excellent grades and left school having not applied to uni as he didn’t know what he wanted to do in fact he didn’t think he wanted to go to uni, he was interested in an outdoor manual occupation for no obvious reason. He took a gap year worked abroad for three months and had a pretty unique experience, he also under protest applied for uni as a fall back, he then came home and did an outdoor manual job and a labours jobs although he enjoyed the former he discovered that working outside come hell high water hurricane and frost etc is not all he thought and uni looked an attractive option. He still doesn’t know what he wants to do so chose what is equivolant to a liberal arts degree and is exceedingly happy and thriving. Im old and grumpy and I’ve learnt in my old age that they have quite few years before they decide give them time and it will all come right.

Maths/Further Maths + English and History is a great combination. He will stand out against arts graduates and more opportunities open up.

It is perfectly reasonable not to know what you want to do in life when you are sixteen.

Maybe actually he's the wisest of his cohort.... according to Dell 60% of future jobs in 2030 haven't yet been invented. www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/07/14/85-of-jobs-that-will-exist-in-2030-haven-t-been-invented-yet-d_a_23030098/

Who knew when we were young that a digital marketeer, a website developer, social media manager, chief information officer would be some of the jobs of the present.

Who knew that now the most well respected news organisations would be recruiting data statisticians .....

What is important is that the kids leave school literate, numerate and confident.

Maybe some of those kids who know what to do are following in the steps of their parents rather than carving out their own futures.

It sounds like he is making really sensible choices in going for both maths and history - a blend of numerical analysis skills and reasoning , evidential skills.

Trust him - he'll go far ....

And the same goes for history and english I meant to add!

I wouldn’t dispair for him. I didn’t know what I wanted to when I left secondary school and panicked and choose something that I had the grades for. Found out 2 years into a 3 year degree that I didn’t want to work in that field but finished anyway. I went on to get a steady job that I enjoy and that allows me time to see my friends and family. This all took me about 6 years from leaving school so he’ll get there. It just takes some people a bit longer.

Might be good to encourage him to apply for some work experience though. Might help rule things out or in

At the age he's at, it could make sense to get some form of part time or summer job - not with a specific future career in mind, but to give him work experience, prove he turns up and works hard - which should set him up well to apply for future work around his studies that is more vocational as and when he starts to focus on specific options.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up!!!!

I did A-levels I enjoyed, went to university to study biology (natural sciences), trained as a chartered accountant straight after graduation, did that for a few years, got to see the world whilst working, moved into project management, had kids, now work in show business (behind the scenes).

I have always done well and more importantly been happy. Seriously don’t worry.

I think he has ruled out sciences and engineering but there are plenty of other options. Law and Economics are really competitive to get into at the high ranking universities but politics slightly less so.

Definitely try and persuade him to get a summer job or volunteer at something. This at least shows a willingness to think about what he could do, or not want to do. Many people don’t know what they want to do until university but it is quite important to get a vac scheme or decent work experience whilst there. Decent grad jobs have many good applicants so watching tv won’t look good on the cv!

As parent, I didn’t orchestrate the cvs of my DC. They sorted out what they needed to do and were motivated to get on with it. Just get the best degree he can from the best university he can get into and he will be surrounded by thrusting young students preparing for Work (?) maybe!

Work ecperience is definitely a good thing even if your DS comes away thinking I wouldn’t be a widget maker for all the tea in China. Or like my DS working outside isn’t so romantic in January in the peeing rain and howling wind when you’ve forgotten your gloves and hat.
And I agree it proves you can turn up, do a job, etc.