how to help

[Amoregentlemanlikemanner]

ds1 is in year 10, doing well but now as well as he feels he could.

dh is a professor, Im' a lawyer.

we totally chilled throughout primary school and up to year 7 about homework because we though it was more important for him to be a child.

then we had words with him in year 9 about things getting more serious, and he accepted this.

I think we are a bit of a nightmare because we launch in and tell him the answers to questions he hasn't asked IYSWIM. We also contradict each other.

so today he got 70% in a history exam. He's a little disappointed. He commented that one of his friends does consistently better in English and history.

I said "right, let's look at the mark schemes"
DH said "ah, in order to write better, you need to extend your reading, I can make some suggestions."

I said to dh afterwards that we were both answering questions that ds had not in fact asked.....

dh of course disagrees. I said to him that he is now used to being a "voice of authority" when it comes to exams and is forgetting that he doesn't get to mark these exams.....

Any tips/pointers from teachers/others?

As your DS seems to want to do better, have you tried 'do you understand where you lost marks?'
If he says 'no' then he needs to go back to the teacher to ask
If he says 'yes' then the follow up is 'how can you do that better next time?'

To be honest, I expect you are more right than your DH. In order to get the marks for GCSEs you have to understand what is being looked for.

god how stupid of me. no. I have never said anything as helpful as

"do you understand where you lost marks"

Meanwhile DH is at the bookship finding him a copy of The Wealth of Nations....

DH was an unusual child.....