I have a highly anxious 13 yo ds with Aspergers. he is in yr9 and this means he started a new school in September as in this area we have a three tier system (primary/ middle/ high school).
He is also a very able pupil (this is relevant), in his last school he won the History prize and was part of a History club which led to him making and presenting to a group of parents/ teachers and pupils a project on The Red Baron (first world war German pilot). So he is able and has a particular interest in First World War and military history.
He rarely goes on school trips as he struggles with changes to his routine, noise, large groups and chaos all of which figure in class trips in general. So he has missed out on many trips but he did manage to go on a couple of small group history trips in the last two years which were very beneficial - to his learning, confidence and resilience.
This new school has a large year group so trips are generally selective and he has only expressed an interest in one proposed trip (you have to register interest) this is to Belgium to visit first world war battle sites (just a day trip and a small group) next February. Ds actually said he wanted to go, you had to complete a form expressing an interest then you would be informed by half term as places were allocated on basis of effort grades from half term report and teachers input/ feedback.
Ds got an excellent half term report Outstanding and very good across the board and he was singled out for a congratulatory postcard and a handshake from the Head teacher. He is exhausted now and on edge from constant assessments which ds places far to much importance on and pushes himself to get top marks in everything ( we do not pressurise ds quite the opposite!!).
We realised that ds did not get a place on the history trip - which seems really strange as he could not have worked any harder - ds is stressing about the trip - he is feeling pretty unhappy about it and down on himself - for not trying hard enough. He also thinks he may have questioned his history teacher too much - he has no real understanding of hierarchy so if he notices a teacher has made a factual error he will not hesitate to point it - he cannot help himself! Does it to me all the time.
Anyway - it seems really odd that a student with very good effort grades, an interest and aptitude for history, and a demonstrable interest in the First World War - would not be chosen for a history trip to WWI sites?! This smacks of either a fuck up by ds - he handed the slip in late or not at all or lost it - he denies this but his memory for admin tasks is abysmal. Or an oversight by the school, or that ds is being excluded for some other reason - that we are not aware of and perhaps related to his ASD.
If it is the latter there is an issue we need to address as it is affecting how ds is feeling about school - for him school is not about friends (he claims to have none) it is all about learning so being recognised for his effort and getting good marks is very important. His new school are still getting to know ds and so we do not know what the reason they have for not giving him a place is.
I do not know what to do - whether to ask the school outright and potentially embarrass ds or rock the boat - I may find it difficult to word an email that doesn't sound like "what the fuck! How dare you exclude my pfb!!" - I need to be asking not demanding and I do genuinely want to be able to reassure ds that he has done nothing wrong. But if the school have concerns about ds behaviour on a school trip - we should know? If DS has not communicated his interest in History to the right teacher that is one thing - if he is a 'problem' that is another. It is also very likely too late to do anything about the trip - unless a pupil drops out. But hopefully there will be other trips and I want ds to have the confidence to put his name forward - obviously he is not going to get a place on every trip he applies for.
Very confused need opinions - please. Thank you.