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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

GCSEs 2018 (2)

999 replies

Stickerrocks · 15/12/2017 20:30

Pre-empting our 1000th post.

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Teenmum60 · 22/01/2018 22:11

Well done to your DS KingscoteStaff - great first 4 mock results ...

AlexanderHamilton · 22/01/2018 22:15

Envelope day has been put back a week so children such as Dd who have been off sick can complete their exams & give the teachers time to mark them.

BlueBelle123 · 22/01/2018 22:19

Fab results for Kingscote's DS

DS's school is very keen on the EPQ, I can see the pros and cons for doing one but ultimately unless your DC is really keen on putting the work in for one, I wouldn't bother.

Oddsocks15 · 23/01/2018 17:20

Sorry haven’t posted in a while but really need a rant.. and some advice

Had a letter from school today that DD hasn’t hardly been using the online science revision that school has bought (Tassomai) Wording on the letter that her level of revision is inadequate....

I am so cross with DD as not the first time that school has highlighted this... She was a Grade below in her recent mocks and possibly this could raise her Grade.

Just had it out with her, apparently she has used it today (oh that is okay then...) and tells me that I should know she hasn’t been revising recently (which I assume she means she has been feeling down)..

She wants to take psychology at A level which needs a Grade 5, do I just stand back and let her get on with it even if it means she fails or some kind of punishment/reward?

HELP

mmzz · 23/01/2018 18:28

my sympathies, @Oddsocks15. I'm not sure I can help except to offer that you are not alone.

DS has been resistant to resuming studying. We (DH and I) had a long talk with DS on Sunday - must against DS's will. It took every bit of us triggering the little boy inside who obeyed his parents just to get him to come back when he stormed off!

Upshot was we finally discovered why he wouldn't work. He is afraid of finding out that he's not as good as everyone says he is so would prefer to get a couple of grades below expectations rather than find out for himself what his limits are. I'm short, it is fear.

As often happens, describing the fear verbally has made it seem less frightening and, so this evening he made up the first draft of his study timetable and 30 mins ago, he started the revision.

Maybe the same would work for you? Plough through the years and anger and get your DD too tell you why she is acting irrationally?

BlueBelle123 · 23/01/2018 19:54

Oddsocks What I learnt from going through this process with DD is nothing we could of done or said would of changed her attitude (she never revised) as basically she was too immature at the time to take the exams seriously, luckily she still managed to scrap into 6th form and she did eventually grow up!

You do need to get to the reason why she is effectively self-sabotaging her exams and only then would you be able to offer help that's if she will except it, but I do sympathise it is incredibly frustrating and worrying when you see them not even trying!!!!!

DoNotBringLulu · 23/01/2018 20:03

More mocks coming up end of Feb for my ds, in Science, English Literature and History. He is feeling stressed again, but revising as much as he can. I have said nobody can ask any more than your best...

DoNotBringLulu · 23/01/2018 20:05

There's been an enrichment day at school today and they have been doing Science revision. Ds is concerned about Physics but said he learnt a lot about Biology though!

Oddsocks15 · 23/01/2018 20:24

So my rant continues, found out through Facebook that a school report came home today with predicted grades for GCSE.

DD is below target on everything with the exception of Maths. Have pointed out to her that although she is predicted an 8 with Maths, she goes need to pass English and Science to get into 6th Form and score high enough in the other subjects to accumulate enough points. Bluebelle it is sooo frustrating... have been going along with the softly softly hands off approach, tried something different tonight to try and wake her up.

I get so frustrated that she argues with me when we are in the same side so to speak. I don’t put pressure on her with what A levels to take.... I want her to do well because she wants to...

mmzz · 23/01/2018 20:32

@oddsocks
I know, they drive us crazy!
DS had to have it spelled out to him (at length) that boring, dead end jobs where your boss is a little hitler are seriously stressful, especially if you are not qualified for anything else.. all this on the theme that he'll pay the price for years if he doesn't make a little effort now.

Have you asked your DD why she has not put in enough hours so far? And what she intends to do about it? (i.e. make her take responsibility for herself)

sandybayley · 23/01/2018 20:34

Coming to this a bit late. Hope that's OK.

DS1 has just done his mocks and results are encouraging. He did work hard on revision over Christmas and I think it's paid off. Does anyone have views about how to keep going now and not lose the ground he's gained?

He did do one early last summer and just missed out on an A* - I think the frustration of that has motivated him to work. We've also starting talking about university and I think he understands better why GCSES matter!

I really feel for our children. When I did my GCSEs it was much more straight forward and easier to do well I think. I also think my parents were pretty clueless!

Oddsocks15 · 23/01/2018 20:41

mmzz she isn’t talking to me at the moment, DH and I do this good cop, bad cop routine and my turn to be bad cop tonight!! Leave her to cool down, I know she has been feeling a bit depressed and seeing the school nurse but won’t let us in too help her..

Now Facebook tells me they needed their result sheet from today for some kind of A level approval which I know nothing about....

mmzz · 23/01/2018 20:49

Does school use email to the students? Would it be wrong to read the school emails to your DD? At least that way, you would not be getting info 2nd from Facebook.

Oddsocks15 · 23/01/2018 21:03

mmzz this is how our breakdown in communication started as I emailed school without her knowledge as I was concerned about her mental health, as a result she sees the school nurse. But apparently I shouldn’t have gone behind her back..... I get that but I got some help which on the few occasions she does speak she tells me she finds useful....

Close to throwing the towel in at the moment

mmzz · 23/01/2018 21:10

I meant reading the emails that the school sends your DD to her school email account.
I do it and DS doesn't mind (it's never anything personal) but I think I'm on borrowed time...

Sostenueto · 23/01/2018 21:29

Every email concerning my dgd in any way we receive. My dgd gets one, we get one so we always know what's going on. We got one the other day about mfl which was sent to every parent/carer of children in yr 11 . every child in year 11 received the same e mail too.

Sostenueto · 23/01/2018 21:33

We also have an app called bromcom which shows live what class she is in and what time and that she is at school and attending lessons, any credits or concerns if homework not done is also there. school reports are put on, mock results, assessment marks etc etc So there's no escape for our DC!

BlueBelle123 · 23/01/2018 21:35

Oddsocks could it be that your DD is just not coping with the stress of the exams, does she feel under pressure due to her predicted's ie say they are too high, sometimes its easier just not to try that way if you don't get the grades you have an excuse. How long has she been seeing the counsellor, I guess you wouldn't be able to talk to the counsellor as well to find out the best way to support your daughter.

Please don't take this the wrong way but if she is incredibly stressed about the exams, you trying to help may be making her more stressed, maybe letting her get on with it and emphasise that she only needs to get whatever grades for the next step rather than what she is predicted.....sorry if I'm way off the markSmile

Stickerrocks · 23/01/2018 21:38

Final school report received yesterday. There are a couple of "below expectations" grades (which are not irreversible), but every single teacher has said the loveliest things about DD. Her year head says he couldn't have hoped for a better HG. I want to frame it! If this Doesn't boost her confidence, nothing will.

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Oddsocks15 · 23/01/2018 21:45

Bluebelle no no you are not off the mark at all. Promise that I’m trying not too stress her out and add any pressure about our expectations. It has been her choice to go for aim for a super selective 6th form that will require two buses to get there rather than a 5 min walk to her school which has an attached 6th form. We have gone along with the super selective and she has an initial interview on Friday..

I’ve just trying to point out what she needs to do to achieve her goal.

Stickerrocks · 23/01/2018 21:48

Forgot to say that despite the glowing report, procrastination nearly made her come a cropper. She spent Saturday turning out books in her bedroom (she had over 500 stashed away) and put off her geography homework. Fast forward to last night when she panicked because her password wouldn't work for the homework portal. She had 25 geography questions to complete by tomorrow, as well as going to work last night and playing tennis this evening. She anticipated a very late night, but when she eventually managed to get logged back in she discovered the deadline is next Monday. A valuable lesson one feels!

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BlueBelle123 · 23/01/2018 21:51

Oddsocks your DD is certainly complexSmile, she appears to want to aim for the stars but hasn't thought how she is going to get there......is there anyone else that she would talk to, I do think you have to get to why she isn't doing much work, easier said than done I know, plus in my DD's case she just said what she knew I wanted to hear and then did nothing!!

Oddsocks15 · 23/01/2018 22:58

Oh yes BlueBelle she is complex alright, I can see why she wants to study psychology!! Just managed to have had a talk with her, you were right it is stress related.... Still going to the super selective 6th form interview on Friday though!!

mmzz I don’t think the school send her emails direct but I could be wrong.. Preferred method of communication is letter via DC but of course that is down to them giving you the letter!

Nettleskeins · 23/01/2018 23:04

oddsocks I knew a couple of parents whose children did GSCES last year who were very concerned about their children not hitting predicted grades from the Mocks scores. In all cases their children on the surface denied it mattered and were thoroughly bolshie when questioned/advised/given gentle warnings and talkthroughs about the future outcomes. However they then received excellent gsces, which made the parents feel a bit guilty for laying the pressure on. They certainly didn't appear on the surface to do what the parents thought they should be doing revision wise, but it somehow came out in the wash. I think you can lead to water but you cannot make them drink. They are probably listening but don't want to appear to.

Another friend's daughter became so anxious she did not even take her Gsces in the end through pressure to receive As from the school, who kept trying to suggest she did them in room by herself, various failed pastoral interventions, because they didn't believe quite how anxious she was, being a model student. Yes Gsce results matter, but nothing matters more than your child's mental health. And if there is a good enough Sixth Form, she has a second chance to shine doing A levels, even if she/he doesn't go to selective sixth form (which is probably only getting better results because they select)

Dd has mixed predictions and pretty mediocre mocks. She has a conditional place at two places which need higher grades, she is v keen on one. I am now leaving the ball in her court. If she wants help I give it, but otherwise I can do nothing, she is going to do that work if it needs doing. Ds2 desperately needs a 6 in English to do his A level choices, but if he doesn't take my advice about how to get one, well that is his choice and probably will mean he is in a different Sixth Form college, which is also the right place for him.

Nettleskeins · 23/01/2018 23:10

sorry that wasn't just aimed at Odd but also at Mmz and at myself too, I keep making mistake of trying to spur them on, but I worry it is because it makes me feel better rather than them.

Odd when dd is anxious it comes out in screaming fits, and I know it is going to get worse as exams get nearer. She is surrounded by high achievers and I think this has made her much more wary of thinking she can also be a high achiever, but deep down of course she wants to succeed, it is a big tension when you cast yourself as happy go lucky which she has.