Should I get dd a Maths Tutor?

[Lovemusic33]

Dd1 is in year 9, she’s very bright, scored level 6 in her year 6 SAT’s and was doing great at high school in most subjects.

Dd1 is also very lazy and since puberty hit she has become very forgetful, her levels have gone from being really good to being not so good, she’s struggling to get homework done on time and has lost interest in some subjects. Maths has always been one of her best subjects but she has lost interest, yesterday she sat a test and only scored 35%, she said most of the stuff in the paper she hadn’t been taught or had forgotten.

She has had a best friend at school for a couple years, he is very bright too and they compete against each other, they have now become boyfriend and girlfriend, as soon as she comes home she’s on Skype talking to him, they used to do homework together but now it’s more silly chatting and messing around. I know I need to start limiting her screen time, I have told her she doesn’t need to chat when they see each other at school every day.

I’m worried about her levels dropping and her losing interest. Dd1 has Aspergers and receives DLA and I’m wondering if it’s worth putting it towards a maths tutor? Is it worth it or should I just cut back her screen times and Skype time?

In my opinion tutoring works well with people who want to be tutored, but isn't nearly as effective when they don't - so i'd say it depends on if she wants one!

I have just had a long talk with her, there were a few tears and a bit of arguing. She got top of her class in her science test today yet she wants to sit the easier joint science paper rather than the individual sciences for GCSE. I told her that I’m only being hard on her because I’m proud of how well she has done and I know she’s capable of more if she tries, I don’t want her to mess up like I did.

I have told her to spend her screen time revising the things she got wrong on the maths paper rather than playing games or Skyping her friends, she can Skype her friends at the weekends. It’s great that she’s more sociable, she never used to have friends and never went out, now she has a small group of friends and goes to youth club and arranges to meet friends in the holidays (which is great) but her school work seems to be suffering a little.

She’s doing amazing in ICT and was recently picked to attend a event for female future engineers. She’s top of her year for English which is her favourite subject but she now thinks she doesn’t need maths as she doesn’t want to do it for A level. With her science and ICT skills she could go on to do engineering but she would need maths. At the moment her only ambition is to be a author and write a best selling book which is understandable as it’s what she enjoys doing, I know she’s only 14 and she probably has no real idea what she wants to be when she’s older. She’s getting stressed about options in April, I’m trying to offer advise but she doesn’t want to listen.

I will wait and see what is said at her next parents evening and in her next school report. I don’t want to be one of those pushy parents but it’s hard to watch her not putting in any effort when I know she’s kapable of so much more.

I wonder if year 9 is the year of the dip? My dd is also Year 9 and seems generally less motivated than last year, with the odd moment of panic that it will be GCSEs soon and she'll fail them! She got level 6 in maths too but doesn't enjoy it and 'forgot' to revise for her test today. She also spends all her time chatting online to friends!

Maybe they can afford a more relaxed year this year? I don't want the stress to start too soon. But like you I don't want her to under-achieve! It's tricky.

Year 9 is an awful year - both my DDs struggled and then blossomed/matured/focused in year 10. I think a tutor at this stage would be a bit premature - you need to put in screen time boundaries and enforce homework first.