Looking for an amazing SE boarding school....

[Ruggles]

We're just starting to look for schools for DS1 who is in Y4. I know it's early, but we want to take our time looking before registering in Y5 ahead of pre-tests. He's at a large non-selective prep school and middle of the road academically, loves sport but not sporty, quite musical and interested / enthusiastic about lots of different things. We'd like to find school which is a bit like Brighton or Win College, but less academic. It's difficult to explain what I mean, but a school with wide horizons, a commitment to excellence and open-minds appeals. We don't like the idea of 'fulham type schools' and wonder if there are some that less obvious that we haven't considered.

We live on W Sussex / Hants border and happy to travel 60-90 mins. Would really appreciate any thoughts or ideas.
Thank you. :)

Kings Canterbury or Oundle could also be considered. Neither ‘empty out at weekends’ and both are excellent for all rounders.

Lord Wandsworth College??? Suited our ds well.

I'd at least look at Sherbourne, despite the distance. I hear good things about it under the new headmaster and from friends' experiences it suits "jack of all" kids quite well. Admittedly it might be an issue if you want 2 kids at same school , one boarding one day, but wouldnt it just be easier to send them to different schools?

Thank you for all the suggestions. I've been looking them all up and lots of info arriving in the post. Wincoll - esp interested to hear more about Ardingly. Also, does anyone know much about Worth?

Seaford is close to us and we're keeping an eye on it.

A number of dd's prep year went to Worth and seem happy with it. It should be coed throughout by now. Not cheap though. Likewise Cranleigh which I think you mentioned earlier. Box Hill might be worth considering if your dc are outdoorsy rather than traditionally sporty.

Friend's daughter is at Worth and loving it.

Surely Oundle is too far for the OP?

Ruggles I don't have any personal experience of Ardingly but have heard positive things and it seems to fit what you want for most aspects (apart from not being in a town) so at least worth a visit.

Bedales seems the obvious one is there a reason you've not mentioned it?

Christs Hospital hasn't been mentioned. South of Horsham.

Also Seaford near Petworth and Lancing.

Snoozy and Liz Thanks for the feedback on Worth - it sounds really interesting and the new Head is quite impressive - yes, the fees!!

Willcoll. We're def going to see Ardingly.

Riding - we know of two (unrelated) children who have left Bedales in recent years following lots of low-level bullying which hasn't been handled all that well by school and still persisted. One in particular, we know very well - seems there was pressure to be cool and nastiness if you weren't. I'm sure it happens in all schools, but the parents spent a lot of time and energy trying to resolve it and nothing changed. He left and the issue hasn't followed him to his next school. I don't know the other child so much, but I hear it was a similar pattern of low level unpleasantness which probably doesn't sound much at first, but builds up. It doesn't give us much confidence in Bedales.

We don't hear many great things about Lancing either and their value added is very poor compared to other similar schools. Perhaps it's an issue that you hear lots of negative things about local schools which you don't get to hear if you're further afield - which is why Mumsnet is so wonderful. I have been really blown away at how slick the marketing materials are for all these schools - incredibly powerful and persuasive. Got to be so careful not to miss the reality...

OP you’ve had loads of suggestions and I suspect there’s a risk you’ll get very confused and you’ll end up end,essay reading websites and attending open days. I looked at the websites of some of the ones mentioned basically they all say pretty much the same stuff.
If I was you I think I’d start of by deciding if I wanted a proper full boarding school, if yes that really limits your options very significantly or whether weekly boarding will work for you if it’s in the right location. If you want the former then you might have to widen the distance you’re happy to travel as ultimately of those suggested above and within your proposed area only Marlborough or Radley (which has not been suggested on here) meets the criteria of proper full boarding. This could present you with a problem as 1. neither might not be your cup of tea and 2. your head has described Marlborough it as “aspirational”.
If you can entertain weekly boarding and Brighton College which you mentioned at the beginning is weekly boarding then you’ve got plenty of choices you just need to find a school that suits you and your DS. I think I would start of by drawing up a list of must haves, and look at 4 1 aspirational, one achievable with consistent work from your DS, one your virtually guaranteed a place at and I would always suggest 1 you don’t like the look of I learnt the most from those even if it’s “this is what I definitely don’t want”. Go and visit a few times IMO not on open days if possible ask lots of difficult questions, if it matters to you ask, don’t be wooed by jaw dropping facilities and Medieval manuscripts, talk to pupils not the polished and buffed high achieving ones wheeled out to show off the school, watch staff with pupils how do they interact with each other, do you like the atmosphere of the place, the staff you meet, do you feel comfortable and can you see what the school is really about, will it work for your DS?
It’s defintely worth listening to what others say and think about a school but ultimately do not be totally swayed by them unless your saying you want full boarding and a current parent is saying it’s weekly boarding only or you must have a basketball club and a current parents is saying the school doesn’t have one. I believe that ultimately the senior school we choose will work best for us and our DCs when we choose the one that we genuinely feel is the best individual fit not the one that 1/2 the parents on the side of your prep school rugby pitch or on MN are raving about.

Happy, that is very good advice, thank you. Last night we wrote out what we're looking for which was quite interesting to do as DH had some different ideas (!) and some things aren't that important when you start making priorities etc. From that we've made a short list and plan to start going to a few open days in the Spring. DH is already sold on St Edwards, but we'll see what pans out. :) :) :)