Parents evening.....

[Fordie57]

My youngest daughter is 12. There's a parents evening at her school tonight & for one reason or another ( I just am not in the right frame of mind ) I can't face it.
I have older children and have been heading to endless parents evenings for years, and I mean "years" my eldest started school in '96 and there's been no gap years at all. This is the very first one I have missed. My daughters getting upset thinking she's going to be in trouble & I feel so bad but just the thought of sitting around.....waiting and then hear every single teacher tell me the same thing ( it's always good 😊 so have never had any concerns) but am i being out of order? It's just one time??

I have gotten tired of them over the years too, but found it's worth it just so that you can put a face to the name for the teachers and that they can do the same with you. When you do need to resolve something with them it seems a bit easier if you've met.

I have ducked out when I already knew the teacher from the older child having had them already.

Is she y7 or y8? Y7 I'd probably go, faces to names, show you're interested etc. Y8 I wouldn't bother!

Its also nice for the child to hear the praise in front of their parent.

I think you should go, unfair on your child if you do not.

I would feel I was letting ds(13) down if I didn't attend his parents evenings, they are only once a year. But maybe it is because I was the 4th child and dm had been there done that by the time I was in secondary school and never went to my parents evenings often.

I'm not saying this is the case with you, but unless you have a good reason I would go.

If she wants you to go (which clearly she does) I think it's pretty poor not to, tbh.

You should go to these to support your DD.

In regards to her thinking she'll be in trouble because you didn't go, I have never known this to happen. It may be a case that her form teacher/individual teachers will want to ring you to let you know what they would have told you in person.

Of course you should go. This being the first one you’ve missed makes it worse if anything, I imagine I’d feel pretty awful if my parent made it to all my siblings’ parents evening but didn’t make it to mine.

Unless we’re awaiting a drip feed about your mental state, then YABU.

I was on here supporting the argument for Skype parents' meetings a while ago but I have to say I think yabu if it's important to your dd. If she's doing well it'll be nice to hear that, surely? If there's a good reason you can't face it I suppose that's different but from the info in your op it's hard to tell if you just cba with the tedium of it.

It's a chance for her to share her world with you. I hope you went for that reason.

I understand how you feel as I'm soo done with primary school events after ten years but i make myself go anyway. Its good for your dd to hear positive comments from teachers. Only had a kid at secondary for two years so I don't mind those yet. Quite enjoy them.

The concerts anyway

If she is getting upset then you should definitely go, why would you not if it's caused by her distress?

I think parents evenings are not always helpful but I think you owe it to the staff, who have prepared comments, collated marks etc. to attend. My DC have tended to encourage us not to go ( they are not perfect students!) but one of us always does inspite of their views and if your DD wants you to go it is even more imperative ime.
I think I probably only have one, maybe two left, and having been going since 1998, I will miss them.
Can your DDs other parent not go in your place if you feel too weary?

Obviously too late now, but I think it is really important to do for the younger ones what you have done for the older ones. I'm just back from my 6th 'look around' a secondary school near here - . I personally didn't really feel the need for another tour, but that's not the point. The point is this dc needs to know she is just as important to me as her siblings. She needs to attend tonight's open evening. I need to literally show her that what choices she makes are important and however embarrassing I am I am there to support her and listen to her and have her talk to me about school things and anything else that is big in her life right now.

It is too late now. What's done is done.
I can think back and know that on at least 60 other occasions throughout my children's school lives I have attended their parents evenings. Along with sports days, open evenings, class presentations, Christmas plays, reading corners, gym displays, choir performances, maths clubs, after school clubs. I don't feel I've given any of children an unfair deal with my time; my interest or my support.

It may have been the 60th time for you, but the first for her.

Wasn't the first for her!! She's 14 (not 12 as my original post stated) in year 9.

Ok then.

If Y9 is the year she picks option, this was a pretty crucial parents' evening to have gone to ...

Of course you should bloody well go and meet the people who are educating your daughter.

Oh - I see it’s too late and you didn’t bother.

Wow- it's hardly her fault that you've been going to parents' evenings for 21 years- that would be your own doing.
Why should she miss out because you're sick of doing things?