A School Like Winchester or Westminster But Co-Ed?

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Am sure I am asking the impossible but here goes. I have a very bright but utterly un-coordinated and non-sporty DS10. Loves gaming and Greek, Latin and philosophy. You get the picture. He gets on very well with girls and due to bad experiences in our childhoods we want him to go to a co-ed school. We live in the South and would like to be near London and are open to London itself. Any suggestions gratefully accepted. Oh, and he would be a day pupil, he is not a boarder. Thank you.

Sevenoaks

There is no co-ed school like Winchester or Westminster unfortunately.
You can go for the more selective co-ed schools like Sevenoaks or Brighton in the hope that he increases his chances of finding like minded friends. However he should be aware that girls may not want to hang out with him once they are in their early teens until the sixth form. IMO co-ed secondaries often have a a culture of 'coolness' while "quirky studious' boys are a major part of the intake of highly academic boys schools.
IIf not Westminster then day schools like MCS or RGS in Guildford are likely to attract boys similar to your DS. RGS has the advantage of Guildford High School in proximity to socialise with. MCS has co-ed sixth form. Not the answer you are looking for though.

We cannot do Sevenoaks unfortunately as it is too far away from our 'home' currently which we will keep. I had never considered Wellington, so off to look at that now.

You all make excellent points about single sex v co-ed which I am sitting here relaying to DH. I think I might persuade him to look at Westminster - the argument that it is only two and a half years is an excellent one.

Perhaps being a boys' school is fairly inherent to the qualities you identify? And I write as a parent of an archetypical quirky such boy.

Michaelah has made a very good point. SPGS is the academic girls equivalent of W but it's very different. Neither school has a rugby team but if they did SPGS would win.

W&W suit bright, quirky, non alpha-male types precisely BECAUSE they're SS, not in spite of it. The boys can mature and develop at their own pace (which at 13-16 is much slower than girls) and without the pressure of having to show off in front of the girls and to each other. They don't feel as self-conscious taking part in drama, art, music (especially singing) as they would if girls were there to "take over" those subjects, making them "uncool" for boys.

Why don't you encourage your DS to sit for whichever one (or both) that he/you prefer and see how you all feel about the schools once he has secured his offers? With Westminster at least, since they pre-test in Year 6 you still have a while from receiving the offer (spring of Year 6) until you have to make the final commitment (January of Year 7, I believe).

The Perse in Cambridge (50 minutes from Kings Cross)

Hi, how are you finding the choices?

I don't want to derail the thread but have a question relating to how and when you identify which type of school would best suit your child?

I only have a toddler so can't particularly tell anything about him yet. Does it become obvious at some point what kind of secondary environment the boy would best suit?

What is the mental process of saying - should hey be bright enough - it's likely he'd get into W/W but instead would prefer a different environment? What factors should we parents be thinking about?

It's like buying a house. See lots and you get a feel. Also by 11 your DS will have a view. Ours loved the Hogwarts atmosphere of Westminster but was left cold by the
SPS playing fields. And at that age his friendship was entirely male (not Alpha) so little reason to seek out co-ed.

The head of DS2's prep suggested we consider Winchester or Westminster no where else. He was about to retire and had been head of the prep for years and we'd been told by many parents that he was brilliant at recommending the right school for your DC, few if any ignored his suggestions. DS2 was 8 at the time. Winchester hadn't been on our radar my DH's old school was.
When we started looking seriously we knew we wanted full boarding that significantly limits your choice, we are based in the south so anywhere north of Oxford and west of Bristol was out of the equation. I have an irrational loathing of North London and some would say an even more irrational loathing of ridiculous uniform and despise too much meaningless ritual. That knocked three off our list. We are totally eccentric hopelessly liberal and wanted a school with a similar ethos.
I had an ed psych report stating that although my DS had dyslexia he was was exceptionally bright (IQ in excess of 140) and far higher for math so I felt a super selective schools the right place for him. So by the time you add all that lot into the mix our choices were quite limited really.
I looked at quite a few schools because I naturally nosey but only 2 really ticked all the boxes and then not all of the boxes, We registered him for both and he got places at both. We then spent a whole year agonising over which one to choose!

Wellington is 20% day pupils. There is a good mix of kids there from what I can see. Sport is important, drama and art are all big too. It pushes the intellectually curious edge.... Not sure all the kids have that but lots do.

The day pupils have their own houses or can be attached to boarding houses... Usually teachers kids as they have to stay late but not sleepover.

It is 60/40 in favour of boys... For as some one said above, apparently otherwise the girls take over, hahaha.

I'm not knocking Abingdon its a very good school but it has about as much in common with Winchester as I have with Theresa May!

Apart from the fact that it's single sex .
What's Cheltenham College like these days? Or Marlborough?
I agree Brighton College might be worth a look for Academics, but I don't know how much it has in common in terms of character of the school.

Has anyone said Oundle? 45 minutes from Finsbury Park.

Happened upon this thread - do people really chose a school based on how many go to Oxbridge? Surely they aren't even the best place for some subjects? Maybe I live in a very different world. OP, you seem to want to find a school that suits your son, which is the best idea - do that and if it is a reasonably academic school he will do well.

SunandSubstance Theresa May and I also have gender in common but like Winchester and Abingdon that’s where the similarities end.

Is Perse for super-able?
I am struggling to find somewhere suitable for my DS (9) who isn't having learning needs met at present.
We thought being in selective prep would mean like-minded boys, but are somewhat disappointed at the moment.

poisoned, our decision to send DC to Westminster was not based on Oxbridge numbers at all. Indeed I don't think we even looked at them, and indeed neither of DC went, one choosing not to apply.

Instead we were looking for schools that suited DC. State provision in our area is challenged, and grammars were ruled out by our unwillingness to tutor. (Neither got through, though one came close.)

Westminster supposedly selects at around the top 2%. There is huge advantage for bright children to be educated in a liberal, thinking environment, where opinions and views are challenged and need to be justified, and where knowledge and a broad education are seen as important. From observation it is not unusual for very bright children to be close to SEN, and perhaps struggle in a more robust environment. Which is perhaps why students enjoy Oxbridge, where is is cool to be clever. Lucky kids at Westminster get to enjoy the same at an earlier stage.

It is 60/40 in favour of boys... For as some one said above, apparently otherwise the girls take over, hahaha.

I remember visiting one well known co-ed school and noticing that confident girls were very much more evident in positions of responsibility and public talks compared to their male counterparts. It struck me that many quirkyboys in that siort co-ed would just step back and leave the super organised girls to run the show. Perhaps less likely if boys had the chance to establish themselves before girls joined at sixth form.

RedandGreen I heard that Perse was very much more of a onveyor belt type academic school in which the bright with learning needs would have to cope rather than the school adjusting their help IYSWIM.

sendsummer to clarify, he doesn't have additional needs, I mean the fact that he's learning nothing and is bored out of his head! None of his classmates are in the least interested in learning anything beyond lessons, whereas he cannot get his head out of a book long enough to eat.

A convoy only proceeds at the speed of the slowest vessel

Conveyor belt doesn't sound great though.

The only ones that come close academically are Sevenoaks and Brighton. There are others closer in character but they're either far less academic or not co-ed. I'd personally not be so bothered by Oxbridge specifically.

“Conveyor belt doesn’t sound great”
I don’t know Peres so can’t comment it but IME one mans conveyor belt is another’s ones focused school.
Years ago I looked at a very famous school with a group of parents two loved it, two of us hated it two were ambibilant.
Boarding schools are IMO less likely to be conveyor belts because quite simply there’s more time and it’s not just about lessons.

cakeandtea - as your child grows older you get to know their character which in turn leads to finding a school based on that character (well, this is the way I am doing it). For example, my ds loathes team sports but adores philosophy and debating...so a school centred around sport, like Millfield, would be a spectacularly bad choice. Also you see how they interact with others - is your son an alpha male or a quiet type, or does he seek out both sexes to play with like mine?