How to compare state with private? Failed 11 plus.

[PersonAtHome]

I've just found out DS's 11plus results this morning - he was 0.28 marks under the pass mark. I've had my head in the sand, hoping he'd get in to the local grammar, so haven't really seriously considered the other options until now.

We're very lucky and could probably just about manage private fees for secondary - but it would mean other sacrifices. To cut a very long ramble short, a few years ago we had some very very lean years which we've just about recovered from, so yes we could manage private but it would be a lot more comfortable not to. Also I think the worry of the unexpected - like losing our jobs or not being able to work because of unexpected illness - will always hang over me.

But then on the other hand, if I do have the money to give him better opportunities then maybe I'm being silly not to consider that. But are the opportunities / outcomes definitely better at private anyway?

I have an older DS who went through state primary and then got a place at the local grammar. My younger DS did state primary until his school bombed and we put him in private school for the last two years, so I now have experience of both private and state.

The online government portal allows comparison but there's no data for the local independent schools, just the state ones.

Is there a way I can find out whether my local state schools are 'better' than my local independent schools?

If you've had to make this decision, how did you go about it and what factors did you consider?

There will always be kids at any school who come off the rails - one of my friends has a son at the private school near us who's had lots of drug problems, and another has a son in year 8 who tries to get out of the moving car on the way there because he hates it. As previous posters have said, it's definitely not as clear cut as it previously was - and if you don't feel strongly for any of the private schools and it will mean a more stressful life for you and your family, I would say it's not worth it.

If your son prefers the local comp I would honestly look at that one more - if any red flags come up for you then definitely veto it, but it's clearly the place he sees himself going and from your description it doesn't sound problematic. He's clearly bright if he's only failed by such a small margin, and there will be other children in the same situation. Two of my DD's friends failed the 11+ by small margins, one of them we suspect intentionally because he outwardly said he didn't want to go to the Grammar, and both went to comps and have done wonderfully and have just started university with As at a level.

It will all work out! Good luck.

It's worth pointing out that not all the top achievers in non-grammar schools are 11 plus 'failures'. Some of them may not have taken the test, either because they chose not to for one reason or another, or because they entered the school later. And some may have deliberately tanked because they wanted to be with their friends

Go state. Hire a tutor as and when needed, cheaper than private. Use the money saved for extra curricular, cultural enrichment and travel

Thanks Rose0, I like hearing 'it will all work out'!

And 2014newme I like that idea of using the saved money for cultural enrichment and travel. Since moving to our stupidly overpriced house and paying for two years of private school, travel and outings have been (mostly) non existent.

My eldest passed the 11+ (only just)but didn't go to grammar school. We had looked at a comprehensive that we really liked but wasn't great according to OFSTED but we decided to go for it anyway. They left with all A/A star grades in GCSEs and A levels and went to a top university. Not going to grammar school doesn't have to mean not getting a decent education if you go to state school - pick the one that you think will suit your child. Hope it works out well OP.