Excluded from private school

[Jeannie78]

Ds has been excluded for the second time for fighting. I'm beginning to wonder if we should start looking at state schools because I think it's inevitable the next exclusion will be a permanent one. Does anyone know if a private school has to declare the exclusions to any potential new state school? I'm worried because I know state schools pass on exclusion information to state sixth form colleges and I don't want it to affect his chances of getting into a good school/sixth form college or even university. At what point are the exclusions wiped from his record, so to speak?

Are you addressing the root of the behaviour rather than foisting him on another school?

Why is he fighting?

Yes, trying to address it. He's ASD. High functioning.

They won't be wiped from his record as far as I'm aware. We declare all exclusions (temporary and permanent) and receive the same from private schools.

I don't know if private schools share information, I know that in a state school if we have a child move to the private sector we send all information and records over. Hopefully someone will be along to give you more information shortly.
Hope you manage to resolve this, as a parent of a child with ASD it's so frustrating trying to get them to understand the consequences of their actions and to help them manage those high emotions.

To my knowledge exclusions stay on permanently. Schools should pass the record on and rightly so.The new school should know what to expect.

Just a word of caution though, if you think there are more resources and time in a state school to deal with a child who gets violent then you are very wrong. There are more children often eith a wider range of needs, not enough TAs and pastoral staff to go around and often class sizes are bigger.
Equally, a state school isn't going to be more tolerant of violence than a private school (other than schools with behaviour problems already so they are used to it but hate it).

The likelihood is that if he displays the same behaviour in a staye school then the following will happen:
Fixed term exclusions
Managed move to another secondary school (if it works he stays there if it doesn't he goes back to state school 1)
Reduce timetable and have him educated off site for some of the week.
Longer term provision at a pupil referal unit
Permanent exclusion leading to permanent PRU education.

Oh nightmare, I feel for you as I know it's so hard for them to understand and deal with stuff. DS who has ASD and ADHD cannot cope with any sense of injustice. If he is being teased and it isn't addressed he can end up fighting too.

Lots of things here.

Is the school able to cope with his autism? Are they picking up stuff which might lead into the fighting?

If you can afford it there might be a better school which would specialise in autism. I know the NAS schools are excellent and they offer a full range of exams...I know they are very expensive though.

And yes....you absolutely want the private school to pass on information like exclusions to any state school. The State school might be better at getting the right support in place....but it's a nightmare sometimes trying to ensure that support is consistently given. Don't want to put you off but my experience of the state mainstream sector with autism hasn't been good. However I also know parents who say their children have had excellent support in mainstream.

Go and look at some schools, ask to speak with the SENCO in in the schools ...go with your gut feelings here. If the SENCO doesn't seem proactive then cross that particular school off your list.

If you have the money for private school,use that money and find a private school for kids on the spectrum..there's one round the corner from us,that I wish we had been able to afford..failing that withdraw him and pay for tutors have him home educated with private tutors ,will cost less than private school

What are school doing to support him op. Presume you spend a lot of money on his education? I know fighting is ne we good but there are obvious factors at play here.

But don't think mainstream will be the answer to yr prayers,I spent my sons whole child hood wishing we could afford the specialist private ASD school round the corner...state school expelled my son before secondary,no other school would touch him....stick with private for as long as you can

I think you should declare it to the new school yourself (possible get the support of the local authority special ed. team - don't know about your area but we have a specific ASD team). This would help the school and LA make sure the transition was carefully managed and the right support is in place before he starts. That way the placement is much more likely to succeed. If his difficulties are caused by his ASD (and I'd put money on that they are in some respect) then there is no shame in being very honest about what has happened.
Good luck

We got a fairly hefty bursary for this school as it is .

That's the shit thing about private schools, they're not under the same obligations to be inclusive as the mainstream system. Also in mainstream, if a placement can't cope with your sons difficulties, the local authority is still obliged to provide an education which (in our case) meant they had to cough up the massive fees for a specialist ASD school. The exclusions my son received were crucial in demonstrating that he needed specialist support so I really didn't want them being kept hidden!

Ah thank you shiver - so it might be a positive thing after all?

Do those suggesting paying for an Independent specialist placement know that they cost £40-50k+ per annum?

Yes Low but local authorities can and do fund placements there occasionally.

Absolutely Jeannie! I used to be horrified when my son got excluded but learned from other mums that, if the exclusion is for a situation which was down to ASD it was basically an admission that the placement wasn't equipped to serve the needs of my child.
If it gives you any hope, this all happened a few years ago now and while we still have many difficult times, my son copes really well and is currently studying for a sponsored degree in engineering 😆

Indeed, but it's a very long road from getting a couple of ftx from private school, presumably with no EHCP, to being awarded an out of county placement.

Some people seem to be suggesting the OP could just spend the money she currently spends on school fees on self-funding a specialist school.

A high functioning ASC student does not need to go to a special school (i.e. Restricted curriculum). There are schools that can meet their needs and give them access to a full curriculum (e.g. 9/10 GCSEs top grades).

If they go to the right school for them, where their ASC is accepted, they can easily flourish. Removing crowds, noise, herding, discipline can work wonders.

Go for that EHCP and work with a school that knows how to get the best out of the system.

Traditionally, exclusions from independent schools happen, but they are pretty much trading with other schools to give the student a "fresh start". It is a successful strategy, as most families are mortified, and this trickles down to the student. Everything is hush-hush and put down to the school not being a good fit. The

If the student is on a large bursary, it is going to be hard to find another school to trade him to, unless that school has a similar student.

If your ds is getting excluded and has asd then apply for an EHCP through the la. IPSea have great helpful information on this.

It maybe he needs more support to manage the school environment and just putting him into state school unsupported isn't enough.

My ds went from an academy to state on a managed move and I got him an EHCP because I said nothing will change unless he's given the support he needs. Wasn't easy but we got there.

I agree with others that being honest with any future school is the best way forward. But if you want to hide it then suggest that to the head that you 'go quietly' now, in return for a good reference that doesn't mention any previous exclusions but does detail your DS's ASD, and also no obligation to pay a terms school fees because you haven't given a terms notice to leave. I've worked in the independent sector most don't want to permanently exclude pupils and often don't want the 'hassle' of dealing with very unhappy or difficult pupils for whom the school is clearly not the right place for them and will happily do some sort of deal like this.

Definitely be honest with next school. You'll do your son no favours to hide anything.

Re permanent exclusions, Ind and state schools usually have agreements with other similar local schools to take each others expulsions. Its pretty important.

I would seek advice about the next place. Ask the current head for honest advice rather than being defensive. Perhaps ask a local ed psych. The next steps are so important and honesty from all, rather than defensiveness is needed.

If you're at the end with this school, yes it would be good to get out without oweing fees and with a reference, but this isn't the sole or key target. Getting the best outcome for next school is key. And however the school has or hasn't met his needs they can play a role in helping with finding the next school and being honest about his issues - all more likely if you are positive with them. If you are positive the end will be smoother and you will prob get a better financial result too.

I would encourage new place to speak with old place. Its not about hiding and covering up problems and issues to sneak him in somewhere that wouldn't want him if they knew the truth, but getting it all out there and working together.
Best of luck.

State schools are not allowed to reject students in the sixth form because of behaviour. So don’t worry.