What to do about sarcastic teacher

[ParanoidBeryl]

My DD (12) has a subject teacher who she finds really difficult. She was telling me today that it is the only subject in school that she hates, and it because the teacher is really unpleasant and sarcastic. The teacher is absolutely renowned amongst parents for being hateful, and she is the only teacher who teaches this subject (ICT).

I've been aware of it since DD started the school last year, and when DD was providing me with examples today of exactly what the teacher does, I wanted to contact the school. DD doesn't want me to for fear of reprisals. Examples were if DD asks a question because she is unsure of something, she says the teacher will sneer and say 'weren't you listening?', even when the teacher hasn't explained it.

What should I do?

This is why teachers leave the profession.
Over involved parents who are on the phone at every opportunity and can't possibly know what actually goes on in the classroom.
Maybe your child doesn't listen. It's infuriating explaining things ten times as a couple of students don't listen whilst everyone else wants to get on.

OR you could just explain to her that she's not going to like everyone she ever meets, and that applies to some teachers as well. Maybe the woman is an unfit teacher, maybe she is just someone your daughter doesn't get. I'm sorry but what are you hoping to get out of this, they won't be able to do anything and your child will now also be feared or disliked by the unpleasant teacher.

This - unless your DD does spectacularly badly in this subject compared to others. She's going to have colleagues she doesn't like in the future.

I don't think sarcasm is an admirable trait in a teacher but they are on the receiving end of sarcasm and verbal abuse from pupils and SLT on a daily basis so I'm not surprised if some resort to a bit of sarcasm.

A colleague of mine had his arm broken by a student. Parents have no idea what teachers have to deal with.

You can be glad he did all you like Taxminion. It was hugely unprofessional.
because I made it clear I wasn't going to let it continue
He told you because you made it clear?! Sounds to me like he is a spineless individual who bends the second someone kicks off so he can have an easy life.

It is possible to confirm to someone that a complaint had been dealt with without divulging personal information. It's equally unprofessional for him to be alluding to other complaints.

I repeat. People have the right to make complaints. They do not have the right to employee information. The fact you feel entitled to it says a lot.

Maisypops - he VOLUNTEERED the information. I did not care how he resolved it, just that he did and I most certainly was not interested in exactly what measures were in place.

I made it clear that I was not going to let the matter drop and my next point of call was a formal complaint to the Governors.

Then he was still wrong to do that.

I made it clear that I was not going to let the matter drop and my next point of call was a formal complaint to the Governors
That's fine. I zero issue with that.
It clearly needed dealing with. It was right it was dealt with.

He was unprofessional to divulge the information that he did.

I've had complaints about staff (some justifyable, others total bollocks). Where justifyable I have worked with staff to address it and things were put in place. It would be wrong of me to tell the parent 'don't worry mrs blogs. I've spoken to Mrs Smith and we will be resolving this through behaviour management training, work scrutiny and additional coaching'.

Yes Maisy I was surprised he told me that, he didn't tell me he had complaints from others but he seemed to accept what I said with little questioning.

What are we doing to our children? This need to rush in every time life isn't quite perfect or someone says something less than fluffy is destroying resilience and definitely not teaching children the realities of life and how to deal with them.

Everyone has a teacher that's not always bending down beside them with head on one side to analyse the child's very word and action. We are pathologising childhood rather than helping children learn that the world doesn't revolve around them and their willingness to tow the line.
Who'd be a teacher when parents rush to the defence of a child that hasn't actually suffered any harm? We are actively encouraging children to think there is a serious situation and they can't cope.

tax
I would tend to accept what a parent says unless i know for a fact that it's utter nonsense. I wouldn't take that as others have complained. More doing his job and listening to your concerns.

Reason I get so funny about how complaints are handled is because not doing things properly causes so many issues. (E.g. we had a complaint about a teacher that was totally ridiculous. But it got out from kids and parents that one had complained and suddenly we were getting loads (all factually untrue and all from a set group of kids/parents). It was so nasty.)

It's why when handling a complaint in school it's important to listen to the parent and what they have to say, deal with it appropriately and not divulge additional info. I also shut down any 'and I was talking to Simon's mum and she said thay her daughter is in another class...'

Last year DS had an ICT teacher who clearly knew the subject inside out and was happy to explain concepts at great length and with infinite patience. Unfortunately while he was doing this, the class was running riot so they ended up not covering anywhere near all the syllabus so the DC that were interested in learning ended up doing so at after school sessions (organised by said teacher).

DD has the same teacher this year. She reports that he is very strict and takes no nonsense (actually wondering if OP's DD has same teacher!). I can totally understand why he is now behaving like this.

Can you give some examples of the sarcasm and hateful behaviour? "Saying "Weren't you listening?" is not sarcastic. Perhaps the question had already been covered and your dd wasn't listening.

I can see this from both sides. It is very difficult to hear half the story and not be in the classroom seeing exactly what happens. My daughter has a good moan about school/ teachers some days and my standard line is "you will not like everyone you meet, I don't like everyone I work with." Sometimes she ends up liking the same teacher within weeks!
On the other hand she did once have a maths teacher and she was completely worked up over those lessons. I tried the "you won't get on with everyone." In the end I asked for examples of what the teacher said. One example was her struggling to comprehend a piece of work and being asked why she was such an attention seeker. I could see her work was falling behind and when I received her school report this was the only teacher that had not one good word about her.
This is the one and only time l have got involved by phoning the school. My daughter now has a different maths teacher and is getting on fine.
You know your child best and the example you give, although doesn't sound that bad to me, I appreciate there may be more to it.
Whatever you do, don't go in like a bull in a China shop and usually the school will happily discuss any concerns.

I think that you just have to explain to your dd that some people are difficult to get along with and everywhere you go there could be a person like this. She'll have to listen carefully and try to keep her head down as much as possible. I wouldn't email school. I can't see how it will help and you may face bigger battles so save yourself for them.

I can't see how your example is sarcastic either and as kitty explained a practical subject such as ICT (it's still called that at my school) is far different from other subjects.

If it's a skills based task/lesson then we have to demonstrate and students need to listen and watch.

If I had a penny for the number of times I've shown students what they need to do (via software so they can see on their individual screens), then stepped them through it and then still get the "I don't know what to do" as they were not watching/listening/paying attention I'd be able to join the thousands of teachers leaving the profession.

I'm not a teacher. I find helping my child with her homework difficult for some of the reasons described by teachers here; "no not there! There!" when telling her where to begin writing. What I have come to realise though is that age ten she really doesn't take it in first time, just as I didn't at that age. I remember being thoroughly befuddled by teacher instructions and them getting shouty and angry because they'd "just said it!". I wasn't a naughty child, I was quite a fearful child as my parents were very hard on me. I just didn't have the listening and comprehension skills teachers wanted me to have and neither did many of my classmates. I think adults forget this sometimes in their frustration. A solid way of getting me to completely shut down was shouting at me and making nasty comments that made everyone else snigger but me feel scared and spend whole lessons praying not to be called on. I didn't even have friends to ask a lot of the time either as they were in different sets. I was a top set pupil throughout my school time fwiw.

We had so many sarcastic teachers at school, it's good to hear that teachers no longer think this is an appropriate way to communicate.

The TA at my dc's primary made a sarcastic comment to him at the age of 5!! I spoke to the class teacher about it who typically began by telling me my son had made it up or heard incorrectly - when I told her I had heard the TA myself - she said oh Mrs X just likes to be a bit sarcastic at times - she doesn't mean any harm!

OP I would see if your dd could learn to deal with this teacher as a little side project - I do this with teachers my dcs don't like - learn to smile into her face even though you have zero respect for her - it's a good life skill. If that doesn't work and it's making your dd very upset I would phone the form teacher or head of year - which ever is the most approachable....it might be a big misunderstanding but in my experience calling out bad behaviour is usually enough to solve the problem.

Your example is utterly trivial and doesn't even appear to be sarcastic. Do you honestly expect your dd to like all her teachers? Did you like all your teachers when you were at school? Some are all sweetness and light (god knows how, in the current climate). Some are a bit grumpy. Some have a dry or sarcastic sense of humour. They are people and they vary. By secondary school, kids should be beginning to get used to that.

I perhaps haven't given a good example - DD says it is the way the teacher speaks to everyone which is so deeply unpleasant. She says she sneers.

I don't rush in to rescue my snowflake as a pp so helpful wondered - she has had this teacher for over a year, and says that she dreads the class because she feels she is being picked on, although I have heard other parents, who have, completely unprompted, said 'oh such and such is a complete bitch to the children' or observed that their children have given up ICT because they don't want to be taught by her. I don't like gossiping about teachers (and I don't like denigrating terms like that) so have never pursued it further in conversation.

DD is generally conscientious, gets good exam marks, and other teachers have always had good things to say about her. It could be that DD has trouble understanding, but it would be inconsistent with what other teachers report. As a pp mentioned about their child - this teacher was the only one who didn't have any positive thing to say on DD's report. Not that I need to see everyone gushing about DD.

Either she's like this with all the kids, or she's picking on your DD, can't be both so which is it?
Sounds like this teacher may be quite brusque but that's not necessarily a bad thing, maybe your dd is used to kid gloves and isn't used to a more serious approach.

I don't think it sounds like your dd is being specifically picked on. I think this teacher takes a stricter approach.

I would have a serious chat with D D about how nice teachers aren't necessarily good teachers, and in my experience at school and uni the opposite was usually true. So long as she's fair about it (i.e. strict with everyone which sounds like she is)

And I wouldn't give too much weight to talk about other kids dropping the subject because of her, yes some kids will drop the class where they're actually made to WORK in favour of teachers who can't be added and let's them since

And it also might be that they go into ICT thinking it'll be a lesson they won't have to work at and don't like that that's not the case

I must have missed a trick when dd whined about her maths teacher being a cow. The example she gave me was that when the kids told her they didn't understand something, her stock response was "what is there to understand?" Clearly I should have gone in guns a-blazing at the utter hatred this woman obviously had for her students.

Still waiting for the OP's examples, because "weren't you listening?" even said with dripping venom would still not make me rush to 'ave a word. (except with my daughter, to whom I might well say "well, and weren't you?")

Also, in secondary school, you mustn't get into the mindset of thinking there is something wrong if not all teachers think the same thing about your child- that way madness lies. Dd excels in everything except science, which bores her rigid. Does that mean her teacher is rubbish? Or that I should complain when she tells me dd lacks concentration in her classes? Of course not.

It's the same with bosses, the matey ones are the most use less/ unhelpful when it matters

Teaching teens you really need a sense of humour. I wasn't there, either, but I can't help wonder if it isn't that kind of chivvying banter that some teens actually respond to quite well.

Then again I guess many of us had an absolutely horrible awful bullying teacher - the moment I stood up to mine and called her bluff was an incredible moment - I realised she was all bark and no bite and she never picked on me again....some teachers are pathetic bullies but according to some people on this thread all teachers are perfect, always respond appropriately and it's the parents and pupils who are at fault!

Orange I don't think anyone in the world could think the OP's example of sarcasm was an example of a 'pathetic bully'. There are teachers who are mean, as there are in every profession, but this is the wrong thread to attach this to.