DS leaving his military 6th form college - what are his options now?

[madgirl]

Hello wise owls out there. I'm looking for some advice re my DS. He is desperately unhappy at his new 6th form college (military and boarding - long story - don't ask!) and I think we are going to fetch him back home this weekend.

So I am struggling with what to do now about his A-levels. Does he have to find somewhere else or can he start again next year? We're in SW London where the good sixth forms are over subscribed. I've sent emails to his old secondary school but in the event that they turn him down are other schools even looking at late applications?

I just don't know what to do next. We have spend so much time and energy and £££ over the past 18 months to get him into this place, but he genuinely has made a big mistake and it's not for him. I'm a control freak so need a plan! I am not even sure of the legal requirements re remaining in school etc etc. He definitely wants to do A levels, go to Uni etc etc. Is it too late in the day in this school year to start afresh?
Any, any advice would be very welcome, thanks.

FE colleges are still recruiting.

thanks LIZS but the ones near us are BTEC only

If he's only been there a few weeks would it not be better for him to persevere a bit longer? If he's never boarded before its bound to be a bit of a shock and I suspect, as a totally non military minded person, military boarding is an even bigger shock. IME 6th former's new to boarding don't necessarily breeze in and settle down straight away, they get home sick and communal living takes some getting used too. There must be someone at the school who he and you can talk too about how he feels? Make an appointment to go and see them talk honestly his problems feels before jumping ship.

I saw your previous thread. Just contact all sixth forms within travelling distance. I do think generally sixth forms have more space.....certainly round here there doesn't seem to be the. Restrictions on year numbers like lower down the school. Don't they get funding per pupil? So may be keen for one more? Good luck.

And I think change now rather than leaving it longer. If he knows, he knows. The longer you leave it the less chance of being able to move.

Is it he military but he's struggling with or the boarding? Maybe worth checking this out if it's he military but he's not getting on with... stateboarding.org.uk/find-state-boarding-school

My son started a new six form last year. However, he had the option of going back,to,his old one as some of his exams were being remarked, which would have made him eligible, even though he had started at the new school. Have you contacted his old school.

DC also also knows of two year 13 students currently in year 12. One ismre-doing the year, as he missed a lot due to medical,reasons. The other pupil, like yours, startd at a new six form and didn't like it, so had a job last year, and started afresh in year 12 this year.

I think,you have to be in training, employment or education.

What doesn't he like about the school? I have a friend who is contemplating it.

Have you looked at Kew House School? They have just opened a sixth form with some amazing facilities. Because it is new they have low student numbers and may still have places. They are offering a wide range of A levels and some subjects only have one or two students registered.

Thanks everyone. Joyfully his old school will take him back. I think it's very sad that he worked so hard for something that has made him so miserable but I guess we grow through what we go through....

I think it's not uncommon for children to be miserable and give up after gaining places at Welbeck. Our son has met quite a few lads who went through and tell quite sad tales of a bullying culture and limited pastoral care. It's a few years ago now but his friends believe the school was far harsher than actually being in the military.

Strodes was still recruiting

Crumbs1 that is comforting. A large part of me and DH is saying that we should be cruel to be kind and make him do at least a term. That we are making it too easy for him. But his rationale for leaving is lucid and he is unbelievably miserable. So for the sake of us doing what we think is the correct parental thing to do seems a bit silly if you get my drift.

One of dd's friends has just started there, and we have been enjoying the reports of the regime. All the enforced drill and exercise and uniform rules.
Friend appears to be fine there, it was very much their choice, but it sounds horrific to me and my dc..We're all the type that hate PE lessons though, so not the right types at all for hearty military drill
I wouldn't make a child stay there if they aren't happy with it.

He's 16 and he's old enough to know that he's made a mistake and it isn't going to change. He's also still very much a child and I agree with others, get him out and go to plan B. It's only a couple of weeks into term so he won't have missed enough to make a difference.
Going back to his old school may be hard at first but he will now see it rather differently having experienced somewhere truly awful.

Well one thing is for sure, he sure as well isn't going to be changing his mind again

I suppose he could change his mind again- but you won't be accommodating another change, I bet. For what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing. He probably wouldn't be successful if he was miserable anyway.

have you / your son got much of a paper trail setting out what the problems are that your son is having with the school and whether or not they are trying to do anything about it?

Some things are going to be non negotiable if you're at a military school I'm guessing (say compulsory parade drill before breakfast or saturday afternoons spent yomping through the woods or whatever) and maybe your ds thought he would be ok with them but is now discovering that the reality is different from his expectations and that's not good but not really something that the school can be expected to do much about.

On the other hand, if he is being bullied by pupils or staff and they're not doing anything about it despite being asked, or if they have sold it to him with promises of x, y and z in the prospectus, but actually you only get to do x in the last week of your last year, instead of every week like it said and you don't get to do y or z at all, then you've got grounds for complaint and maybe negotiating a withdrawal from the school where you don't have to pay all of next term's fees (seem to remember that most schools need at least one full term's notice)

But yes, seems sensible to jump ship quickly if he is so despondent and it's for reasons that aren't going to change, particularly if he can get back into his old school and not have to wait a full year before going back to start the L6.

Great news that his old school have a place for him.

I think it is good that he has been able to tell you he is miserable and wants out.

Lots of kids change sixth forms quite quickly, I know of two at the moment. Best to do it quickly and move forwards.

Good luck to him!

Yes, we have him home now, onwards and upwards. He knows of 10 leaving as well
thanks for your kind words reassuring me that this is the right thing to do. certainly the look on his face when he got off the train and saw me convinced me