Which of these children would benefit most from an independent education?

[earlycomputers]

I am due to fund one out of these three children to go to a good independent school throughout their secondary education. Which, out of these three, would get the most benefit if they went? I appreciate they could all benefit to some degree, but, who, in your opinion, would get the most out of it - just based solely on this info: Child A: bright academic high-flyer, ambitious to attend a top university, consistently top in most subjects; Child B: conscientious student who gives a lot of effort but is of average ability in most subjects; Child C: average ability, fairly modest ambitions for the future, very practical/physical learner (as opposed to book learner), has always disliked school lessons in general and is generally demotivated by academic stuff (Child C has had experience of both independent and state education).
Thanks in advance

Child A - depending on what their school choice is if they don't go to the Independent and depending on what their parent/s do for a living. I think it is a myth that academic and bright children do well anywhere. They might do well relative to the peers at any school but I think having like-minded, ambitious peers will make it more likely that child will have the support to achieve their goals. Like I say though - depends on their other school options. There are plenty of state-schools filled to the rafters with bright, academic, high-flying pupils depending on where it is/if they select etc...

I also think child B, but another couple of questions; 1 Which schools will the 3 DC attend if this was not an option ie outstanding comp, grammar, or not very good comp (I realise in MN world these don't exist and all comps are amazing!). Maybe you could pay for the DC likely to go to the worst/least supportive school. 2 Could you instead pay for all 3 DC to have extra's, music lessions, tutoring, dance, sports whatever each DC would like?

Depends entirely on the type of private education and the alternative state options.

dumbledore345 - I would agree with that fine tuning, but the problem is, aside from schools being differentiated on sex (co-ed/girls/boys), numbers (class size), religion, ofsted ratings, facilities (eg pool), and exam results, there's not a great deal of difference in terms of subjects taught, aspirations and teaching style. I am thinking more for a child C here. There are no schools that I know of who can cater to someone like child C (who is not classed as 'special needs'), who want to focus on practical as opposed to academic skills and learn outside of the traditional classroom. If anyone knows that such schools exist for secondary level - please let me know!

I agree it depends on which independent school, and what the alternative(s) is (are).

It sounds to me as though child C may have had a less-than-ideal experience of school so far, including school changes (perhaps due to 'issues'?), which MAY be a cause of their disliking school/academic things. Their average ability and modest ambitions MAY be an effect of this previous school experience. Given the right environment (which could be state or private, depending on the individual schools) this child may develop ambitions, grow to believe in themselves, recognise that they can actually do the academic stuff, no longer be demotivated by it, and make huge progress. Or simply achieve recognition that the things they are good at are valuable too, lose the mindset of 'because I'm rubbish at academics I'll do this other thing' and gain the mindset of 'I'm really good at this valuable other thing, I'm going to take this far and be successful'. Whereas if they (continue) to go to schools the same as they have been going to (state or private), their attitude and self-confidence is unlikely to change anytime soon. IMO the right school could be a total life-changer for this child.

Of course any child will benefit from going to the 'right-for-them' school as opposed to a bad school. But assuming that the alternatives are not 'bad', just regular schools, it seems to me that children A and B have proven that they get on well with regular schools and have the ambition and confidence to make the most of it. Yes they could go further in a 'perfect-for-them' school but the difference is not life-changing. Whereas I feel it is plausible that child C has shown that a school that is simply 'regular' doesn't work very well, leading to despondency and lack of confidence and low ambitions.

So if funding independent school equates to being able to search for and find the right kind of school that will help turn this child's school career around, I'd say choosing child C will have the most 'effect'.

The only school I know vaguely like that is Summerhill. Lessons are optional so can spend as much time out of classroom as they like. No personal experience of it, a Head teacher told me about. My DS would love this but would spend all day making bonfires!

www.summerhillschool.co.uk/an-overview.php

From the very brief info given, I wouldn't be looking for a school that provides lots of out-of-classroom learning for child 3 (that would be hard to find). That would be a bit like writing child 3 off (academically) already. I'd be looking for a gentle school that perhaps has a track record of re-motivating de-motivated children iyswim. A school that manages to make academics interesting even for children who at the moment think that academics are not for them.
It would probably be a school that has high academic expectations but achieves their great results through different ways than being an exam factory. A school that values the whole child rather than just exam results, but not at the cost of lowering academic expectations. Probably there would be a very big choice of extracurriculars and excellent pastoral care. There would be evidence of inspiring teaching rather than evidence of top-notch results (though results still good obviously, as inspiring teaching tends to lead to good results).

All of them could benefit hugely depending on the school.

But if I'm honest I'd pick A. If they are that motivated then they deserve every opportunity

@ASDismynormality
I have one of those children too - ADHD etc

I'd be very wary of using the private sector unless it was s school which was very supportive and had a good understanding of those needs - in particular the struggle to focus with ADHD. Ime they would be more likely to manage your child out if they felt he didn't fit - whether that is that he needs more input from the teacher, he won't get good grades or he may be disruptive. There seems to be a not uncommon attitude in private schools (particularly very popular ones) that they do not need the extra work and do not have to tolerate the demands for more input. They also are less restricted by inclusion rules that state schools are.

It isn't fair and it isn't right but it is something I have seen time and time again. If I were you I would be open to any school and really investigate their abilities to help and understand him. Are there any dyslexia specific parent forums that you are on? Maybe ask there.

Good luck. The inability to get information from an intelligent and creative brain onto paper or keyboard is relentlessly frustrating, stressful and tricky. I've not found the answer either.

everythingsucks. Thanks for your message. At the moment I have a few secondary schools to look at - local mainstream comps, local non selective independent and a special school. The local independent does admit children funded by the local authority who have EHCPs (like my son) but I have been told the school are trying to move away from this. I imagine they will all have elements which are suitable but none will have it all. There is one independent school that specialises in helping children with some specific learning difficulties and would be ideal but at the moment isn't having an open day as it's over subscribed.

He has an amazing primary school so it's going to be very difficult to find anywhere even close.

Totally depends what each child's other options are. I have a child A who is absolutely thriving at a good state secondary school. If you offered to pay her fees, I'd say no thank you. (This is not hyperbole - we were invited to apply for a full fees scholarship at a nearby indie and after careful consideration decided she was better off where she is. No regrets so far as she heads into the sixth form.)

But if the local state options were rubbish, perhaps I would bite your arm off.

Definitely B

The vast majority of private schools are very academic as the need good results more than state schools. Nobody's going to pay to send their kids to an average school.
So that rules out C

A is driven and intelligent so will do equally as well at a private or state school.

B puts in the effort but needs a bit more help so will benefit most from the smaller class sizes and extra resources at a private school.

If I had to choose, it would be Child B. Sounds like Child A would do well regardless of whether it was a state / independent school, whereas B sounds like they have the potential, but may benefit and achieve more if in smaller classes etc. Child C probably not as independent schools are all about academia and sounds like their skills and strengths lie in other subjects which are more practical in nature.

What a hard decision to have to make!

whyareusernamessodifficult

I disagree! Lots pay for independent education with no real thought for academic success. I am one of them. It is a very, very small part of why I chose the school I did.

I want the teachers to be good (they are), I want fascinating lessons that inspire (they are), I want exciting ways to make the pupils want to learn (they do that).

But fantastic results at the end? Meh. I am more concerned she doesn't hate school and is not put off learning for learnings sake.

I think B

A will probably do ok anywhere, C less likely to do brilliantly anywhere. Whereas it could make a huge difference to how B does.

That said, somewhere like Bedales might suit C. They have a focus on practical learning.

A won't necessarily do well wherever. I know people who achieved well under what they should have due to school.

I would say A or B, but depending on school.
A if the school is academic-B might well be out of their depth.
B is it's a small nurturing but not especially academic school.

But also I might look at whether the parents could afford it (perhaps taking into account how many other children etc.)

B. Every time.

At a state school, much of the attention goes to the very brightest, the dullest, and to the ones who need a lot of attention re behaviour etc. The ones in the middle who are doing ok and aren't a demand on the teacher's attention can get sidelined and left unnoticed. Left to their own devices, the end up achieving less than they otherwise might have done. Voice of experience from the parent of a B.

Do all three children want to go to an independent? Is there an independent that would suit each one?

If yes to both, my order would be determined entirely by the amount of effort each student puts in to their schooling. Most effort would be funded.

A
It's hard to say but A will probably get extended and have more competition in the independent and will obtain the most benefit.

Bredon might suit for a C child.

Thanks all - really helpful & useful replies - much appreciated!

I wouldn't make any decision without knowing what the available alternatives were for each child.

Whichever one would end up at the crappest/worst fitting state school if not sent private.

Child A.

Out of interest, are the three girls or boys?

I also want to know your relationship to them but I'm nosy like that