Transfer Test/11 plus

[jw12]

Hello, my son is sitting the Transfer Test in November (both AQE and GL), are there any others out there feeling as stressed as I am about it!!! My daughter did the test 3 years ago and sailed through it with no problems (although there were some stresses at the time). The issues I have with my son is that he has all of the ability but is easily distracted and lacks concentration at times. He assumes that he is going to the same school as his sister BUT they are an A only school, he is currently sitting at a medium/high B score with only 9 weeks to go......I'm at my wits end and so stressed about it.

If he got into the same school as his sister I could go back to work full time which would greatly benefit our family. He would be happy at that school as a lot of his friends will be going to that school as well.

As I said above, he has the ability (in the highest group in his class), but seems to lack the concentration and maturity to obtain the A that is needed for our first choice school. I know he would be devastated if he didn't get into his first choice school and I have tried to explain to him that he needs to really give it his all but still I see the signs that he can't really be bothered at times, rushes through the tests, doesn't check his work.....no many how many times I tell his it's the same scenario every time!!!

He will have to decide for himself, I think. Your pressure could make things worse and possibly build resentment in him. Tell him to do his very best and then leave it at that.

Ah, OP, I feel your anxiety. I have a boy at the same stage and I'm afraid that's what many boys are like!

You can only do your best to support and prepare him. Like GuestWW, says, parental pressure will make it worse. No judgment here: After a particularly poor practice session I stupidly blurted out in the last few weeks of the summer hols: "If you carry on like this, you're going to fail maths!" and knew as it came out that it was the wrong thing to say.

My DS sounds very similar to yours. DH and I have told him to do his best, it would be good to have a choice but whatever happens he will have a school to go to and should make the best of it (we are also applying for local state schools).

Having not tutored for 2 years (unlike, it seems lots of others) I took time off over the summer to help DS prepare for the exams (we also engaged a tutor once a week over summer to cover gaps etc.). I have to say being mummy and being a tutor/teacher/marker did not always go well.

I wonder whether this has been an issue for you OP? By that I mean that children may not respond to a parent in the same way they do to a tutor/teacher. My DS would fidget, look out the window etc when I set papers for him. Most of the time he didn't finish set papers and on occasions took another 30-40 minutes to complete them!
I found I had to take a step back. We were getting on top of each other and he was getting exam practice fatigue. I took it down a notch to give him a break. It did help, but the truth was, he often responded better at school than he did to me.
This is a horribly stressful time, but I do think that trying to avoid them knowing how anxious we get as parents is better. Not easy though.

If you feel like venting have a look at the "Where do I find the 11+ thread?" Lots of us stressing on there!