How on earth do I pick between schools?!

[ineedamoreadultieradult]

I know November is a while off but this is causing me major anxiety! I was sent to a completely different school from everyone in my primary school and found that very traumatic so I'm trying to not let that cloud my view, but it's hard.

I'll try and keep it simple the choice is basically between two.

School 1
Current primary school is a feeder school
99% of his class will most likely be going there
Possible to walk but will probably take the bus on rainy days
Very old run down building
Reliable reports of bullying and pupils being removed as bullying not being dealt with effectively
Ofsted requires improvement

School 2
On the edge of area for getting in, would have got in last year but more and more people applying so not definite for this year.
Only heard about 2 or 3 classmates possibly applying to the school but again touch and go if they will get in
Have to get the bus too far to walk
Newly built in 2012 so modern facilities
No reliable opinions either way re how good the school is
Ofsted Good
Offers ability to join sports academy (DS stands a chance off getting in) or Army Cadets which both run within/alongside school.

I haven't mentioned GCSE results and league tables and things because both are pretty much the same.

Sometimes I think school 2 is the obvious choice but I can't count on any of his friends applying/getting in so he could potentially be going there alone and as I said I have had an awful experience of that so it makes.me think.to go for school 1 and at least he will be happy. DS has visited both and goes back and forth between which is his favourite.

I'd be dubious about 'reliable reports of bullying'.
However, check with schools about their policies re bullying and talk to schools rather than relying on gossip or the poison that is Facebook...
Good luck!

The thing that stand out for me is the suggestion that school 1 is not in top of the bullying. That easily balances out concerns about transition and not knowing anyone. Because frankly, if he is the target of bullying he will have a bad time even if he is with lots of his primary school friends.

I think I would go to both schools again, armed with some specific questions about bullying (both schools) and how they actively support the transition process (school 2). If school 2 has good answers to both questions, it sounds like it would be heaps better long term.

I would put school 2 as first choice and school 1 as second choice.
If her is one of only a few children to transition then he will make friends pretty quickly and he may know other children attending from clubs outside school.

DD1 moved to secondary school with a friend and before the end of the first term they were friends with different groups. If he is alone then work hard at inviting over anyone he wants to in the first few weeks for pizza/films and help him to create a network.

DizzyDandelion I know exactly what you mean but these reports of bullying are from a close family friend who withdrew her DD I'm year 7 after she was punched in the face in more than one occasion and the school were not at all happy the police had been contacted. The other a teacher at DS's primary school who withdrew her DD in year 8 due to physical and cyber bullying where the school said it was up to her DD to confront the bullies on Facebook and not to just say nothing as that fuelled the fire!

Thanks for the advice everyone. We are visiting both again in September. I will specifically question school 2 about their transition process for kids not coming from a feeder school. He does have friends from his football team who may be attending School 2 but again it's not guaranteed.

For me it would be a no brainer, School 2.
He'll make new friends. Friendships change a lot in secondary.

School 2 first. Loads of kids go to secondary alone, loads get the bus. Unless it's over an hours journey, in which case you need to think about the logistics of friendships - ds travels 45 mins & all his friends live the opposite way (we're right on the edge of catchment), which was a bit of a pain until he could find his own way around!
Are you only putting 2 choices? I'd put your maximum, just in case.

I'm glad others went to Secondary schools alone and didn't find it as traumatic as me, I was a very anxious child so I think I may have had a worse experience than is the norm. I will be putting the maximum number of preferences in the form but the other options are definitely last resorts. It's between these two for the top two places.

ineed For school 2 check their transition arrangements, which will probably be so much better than 20 years ago.

DDs school takes from 40 primaries, around 5 main ones then loads of 1s or 2s or whatever.
It does:

• visits to the primary wherever possible
• 2 day transition days in July
• optional summer school
• team building day with tutor group
• spreads out big primary intakes across the tutor groups

That all helps people who don't know many others make friends