are you told your child is quiet in class?

[ggirl]

son in yr 9
not sure if there is anything I can do about it tbh

he's fairly confident boy , lots of friends ,fairly average in school , no problems with behaviour in school , typical sulky sod at home

just wondering if anyone else has the same from teachers , and if your child has changed??

My daughter used to be like this,she went from very quiet to starting to join in, to contributing nicely to an active participant by the time she left. The teachers themselves managed it and they saw it as a positive progression, but it was a small all girls school so they were able to draw her out.

She had and still has an unusual ethos though. She discussed and got involved only if it interested her, she's never contributed for the sake of it. If it didn't interest her she totally ignored it and got on with something else. Used to annoy her if she though the lesson was being way laid by excessive discussion on something she felt was irrelevant.🙄

She's now 19 and in her second year of a law degree and I'd say she's exactly the same. She contributes but only when she has something to say on the matter, past that she ignores it and feels irritated. She's naturally quite shy and can lack confidence in her interactions so speaks up only when she has something she feels strongly she wishes to say or argue.

They are who they are. Unless you think he's lacking in confidence, I wouldn't worry.

DS was always described as the quiet one, pleasant and no trouble. Unfortunately in a class where low level disruption was normal DS slipped under the radar. He isnt academic and in classes where the disruptive students were pulling attention to themselves DS didnt get the support he needed (mild dyslexia).

He is now at college doing a subject he enjoys but also having to resit his English GCSE to get a pass grade which he needs for his hoped for career.

Another aspect is that some kids "overthink" and won't say/write what they think is the bleeding obvious, expecting a more complicated/astute answer instead.

I'd only just noticed this trait in my son a few months, as we've been going through practice exam papers together. Some we do verbally to cover more subject matter more quickly. I asked him to tell me the answer to, say, a simple Physics question and he sits there dumb and I have to really press him for an answer. Yet, when I show him a really complex question he just says the answer in full technical terms. Only by reading the answers/examiners notes have I managed to persuade him that if a question looks simple, it probably is simple and only needs a very basic "noddy" answer.

We've been told for years she's quiet, they want to hear more from her. She's now in Year 11 so they're now concentrating on the next step. She's done a mock interview at school and was told there was absolutely nothing she could improve on - others were told they needed to make eye contact, smile a bit more, prepare better. She's applied to two other schools for sixth form that give parents feed back, both of which say they were very impressed and offered her places. Even if she's quiet, she's obviously managing to put herself across in the right way with the right level of confidence!

I get very frustrated that quietness is seen so negatively. The world seems geared towards loud people.

I was a quiet child and I am constantly being told about how quiet both DDS are. So? They are hard working and well-behaved so why does it matter if they're quiet?

I'm now a teacher and have no problem with quiet children in my class.

When dc1 got that sort of comments in secondary, it's because he wasn't participating or involving himself in class.
It was very much an issue with his attitude to learning rather than anxiety or being an introvert iyswim.

Dc2 had that sort of comments A LOT in primary. He had very good reasons for that incl some language issues etc... I don't think I've ever related that to him. In that case, it was very much a live and live situation.
I did mean that he was always forgotten though, the quiet child that doesn't create problems and is doing OK ish (or so we think...). Lets focus on someone else.

I was always told in an accusatory tone that I was 'quiet'. Every darned school report said a variation of "quiet/day-dreamer/shy" in a negative way. I hated it. I couldn't help the way I was but they spoke as if I could. As if it was a fault.

I would guess its introversion as others have said up thread. I have only just discovered this is me recently but wonder if I'm an Ambivert as I really enjoyed drama/performing too.

The book 'Quiet' by Susan Cain was revelation to me. She also did a short TEDTalk on it. Think it's on youtube.

Really nothing to worry about.