Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

I don't want to go to parents evening

50 replies

Threeschools · 08/11/2016 16:44

Does that make me a bad mum? DD started this year in this massive secondary school, had a fantastic half term report, has joined 3 clubs, is happy, has made friends, husband will be away for work and I would have to get a babysitter for DD2, to queue endlessly for a merry go round of 5 min appointments, I struggle to see the point.

OP posts:

Celticlassie · 08/11/2016 20:58

The other issue is that we only have a certain number of slots (24 for up to 33 pupils, if you only have one class) and so often spend every slot seeing parents where there are no issues, and those we need to see can't get an appointment.

SuburbanRhonda · 08/11/2016 21:01

At DS's school the students had to go even if the parent was unable to.

Floggingmolly · 08/11/2016 21:01

Why not issue the necessary appointments first, Celticlassie? That's an admin problem, not the fault of interested parents with no issues.

greathat · 08/11/2016 21:05

Coz the parents you want to see are the one's that don't respond to requests for appointments...

Celticlassie · 08/11/2016 21:16

It's an online booking system. I don't get to schedule any any more. Its a shame the system is the way it is, where the parents we most need to see are the least likely to make appointments (and certainly to make appointments on the very day that the online booking system opens).

DanicaJones · 08/11/2016 22:09

We took along our 9 year old to a year 7 parents' eve. One of the teachers did laugh at all four of us sitting staring at him as he spoke. It was fine though.

DanicaJones · 08/11/2016 22:14

We had a form tutor meeting where it specified that you should only make an appt if you had concerns so we didn't go. At the subject one it didn't specify that so we did go. Had they specified that you only see subject teachers if you had concerns we'd have followed that.

BackforGood · 08/11/2016 23:32

I think it's sad to not bother - especially for the first one at secondary. Don't you want to put a face to some of the names she mentions ?
Even if there are no concerns, there are sometimes little things that the staff wouldn't fit into the tiny space they have to write in on a report, but will say to you. Even if she is the perfect child with no areas at all she can improve, it's actually rather nice to hear that praise and feel you've done a lot right in your parenting so far. It's also nice for the dc to hear nice things being said about them. I had an appraisal meeting today, and the manager passed on something really nice that someone had fed back to her about my work, and it just gives even me, as an adult, a real lift for the day - I think this is doubly so for our children.

Redsrule · 09/11/2016 05:28

Go so your DD can enjoy the praise! As a teacher in a RC school we sometimes have 4+ siblings gathering around. It is fine, after all the likelihood is that your younger DC will also go there.

Original poster

Threeschools · 09/11/2016 14:28

Yes, we will be going with DD2 in tow, but to see 6 out of 13 teachers, I think it is an acceptable compromise, we should also have a precise appointment slot, hopefully this will be respected.

OP posts:

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 09/11/2016 14:53

We just did one to see her tutor for 10 minutes. I rocked up with all 3 kids in tow and no one batted an eyelid. Did the primary ones with all 3 kids in tow as well. We just sit the kids outside/at far side of classroom for 5 mins with the eldest in charge! Not had any issues.

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 09/11/2016 14:54

I think there are 2 evenings per year for secondary so we are going to do half teachers this time half the next I think.

Floggingmolly · 09/11/2016 14:59

You hope your precise appointment time will be "respected"? Wow. Yours and those of all the other 100+ parents as well, right?

lightsandresistance · 09/11/2016 15:00

DDS old one had a random five minute appointment every half term during the day in which you were basically read the half term report which you already had.

It was a waste of time. Handy for parents who struggle reading reports. Pointless for anyone else.

My job at the time was one where you weren't allowed holidays in run time (theatre) and it was a nightmare.

lightsandresistance · 09/11/2016 15:06

Oh and on the main parents evening you had to see all the teachers or the kids got in bother.

Actually I don't think in eight years of school I have ever been told anything I don't know at parents evening because any issues have already usually been addressed by then.

In fact I have never had anything but "she's fine, she's no bother in class, she's not academic but she's fine for her ability. Repeat times 8

ThatGingerOne · 09/11/2016 15:11

I loved going to parents evening with my mum. I always got high grades, was in top sets and in loads of clubs. I often told my mum but didn't get much praise as she was busy with a very ill behaved sibling - I would just leave it and go to my room. Going to parents evening meant her attention was solely on me and I would receive praise from my teachers infront of her and from her for just one evening.

Traalaa · 09/11/2016 16:00

If she's doing fine, then I think it's more about your DD. Does she want you to go? I know my DS really enjoyed taking me round, showing me the school, pointing out his mates and the teachers, etc.

AChickenCalledKorma · 09/11/2016 16:16

floggingmolly appointment times at my daughters' parents evenings are 100% respected, for all parents. There is a scary-looking staff member with an old fashioned bell that is rung every five minutes. You move when the bell rings and people stick to it very well.

Obviously I don't know what the system is at the op's school, but it can certainly be done.

seven201 · 09/11/2016 16:52

Totally fine to take younger siblings. It's generally the parents you really want to see that don't turn up. Your son will love to hear the teachers praise him and for you to say nice things too even if he pretends to not care. I love seeing all the proud happy faces. Don't try and see all the subjects as there's not enough time. The core ones are the busiest.

BackforGood · 09/11/2016 19:50

we should also have a precise appointment slot, hopefully this will be respected.

Ha, Ha, Ha,

clary · 11/11/2016 00:07

I went to DD's yr 11 p eve last night and tho it was busy as you would imagine, we saw all 9 teachers and were done in a bit over an hour so yes, appt times are respected there. It was all good but still I would always go.

Original poster

Threeschools · 17/11/2016 19:31

Well it was tonight and it was worth it. Praise praise praise, the music teacher thought DD was a music scholar, French teacher reckons she should be able to take her GCSE in year 9, and history teacher wants her in her a level class. I was gobsmacked how nice everybody was, our appointments were on time, DD2 behaved herself, what's not to like

OP posts:

Salmotrutta · 17/11/2016 22:25

I make precise appointment for my pupils' parents every time Parent Contact evenings come up.
(Secondary Teacher here)
Sadly, many parents don't respect the allotted appointment timings and want to discuss their child -endlessly-- in detail because they erroneously suppose that I hold their child in higher regard than all the other children in that class.

Salmotrutta · 17/11/2016 22:26

Gala ah - strike out fail!

Salmotrutta · 17/11/2016 22:26

Gala ah???

Whaaaaah?

Flip

1 2