taecher's sterotypical and incorrect views annoyed me, as new stepmum reacted rather rapidly

[Nicola63]

I have had no experience of being a mother or dealing with schools and teachers, until my 13 year old stepdaughter came to live with us a few weeks ago. Yesterday she came home from school all enthusiastic about a discussion one of the teachers had had with them in assemby. It got me utterly incensed.

The teacher was discussing the medical profession and in particular why surgoens are called "Mr" in this country instead of "Dr". Well, being a medical professional myself, I know this well, it is a reminder of the days when surgeons were the same thing as barbers, and not part of the medical profession, whereas physicians were medically qualified. Of course surgery later became part of medicine, but the "Mr" thing remained as a reminder of the history of the profession.

Well, anyway, this teacher told the pupils that the reason why surgeons were called Mr was because they are "at the top of the tee in medicine and so have nothing to prove".

!!!!

I am a medical specilaist in a field other than surgery, and you can imagine my recation to hearing that the children were told that surgery is "the top of the tree", (as opposed I suppose to other specialities including my own, which are on some lower branch?). The real history behind the "Mr instaed of Dr" was not mentioned and I suspect the teacher was entirely ignorant of it.

I reacted by immediatly writing a letter to the teacher poining this out and expressing my disappointment at the steoptyping of specialities other than surgery as somehow being inferior. (My stepdaughter is interested in being a doctor, and this skewed information about the different branches of the profession, which she initially accepted as fact, was in my opinion totally unacceptable).

I then had a sleepless night worrying about whether I have done the right thing. I suppose my letter could be seen as an over-reaction. I am not used to dealing with teachers, and perhaps this is not the right way. In my working life, as a senior doctor, when I disagree with an opinion or an attitude it is my job to point this out and persue it. But maybe here I have done the wrong thing and now look like a bit of an a-hole??

Sorry for the long post. I'm totally new to all this.

have you written the letter and sent it? or did you just write it and have yet to send it

can you copy the letter on to here so we can JUDGE you properly

PS sorry for spelling errors, I wrote this in a bit of a heated state!! He said top of the tree not top of the tee!!

I gave the letter to my stepdaughter to pass on to him. I can't copy it right now as am at work and it is on the computer at home, but could do so later or tomorrow.

I'm feeling more stupid about this all the time, while still feeling angry.

oh don't feel stupid

the teacher is probably very young and most probably didn't know the history

I have to admit that I am neither teacher nor young and also didn't know .. but find it fascinating

I think it will probably boil down to the tone of the letter really .. if you wrote it in a rage it may sound condescending

are you sure DSD has handed it in .. can you text her and ask her not to .. just yet

I don't think this is something you shouldn't address but maybe jovially rather than angrily

oh and welcome to the world of motherhood .. its an arse sometimes, it really is

Oh don't feel bad, what I do if I think the teacher has imparted wrong information (or more usually not explained enough) is to say my view to dd but definitely not to the teacher!

Teachers are not infallible any more than us parents are.

I remember dd's teacher in Year 1 "doing" Van Gogh with them in art and showing them a print of his "Bedroom at Arles"

The teacher said , here's a painting of a bedroom and dd piped up "It's not just a bedroom Miss, it's actually Van Gogh's bedroom in Arles"

The teacher told us this at parents evening, saying she hadn't known that before!

(We had taken dd to the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam shortly before)

Sometimes, teachers do get things wrong. My dp is a teacher, so absolutely not having a go at them but my dd1 has been taught that Robert Louis Stevenson invented the steam train and Washington DC stands for Democratic Capital. Also, Russia is totally in Asia. For the first one, I went into school myself, for the second two, I sent dd in with a note asking "are you sure about this, because I always thought...." If they are wrong, then not only do you need to teach your own kids the correct version, but let the teacher themself know as well so they don't teach further generations the wrong thing.

Oh Nicola, my DS isn't old enough for school yet but this would so totally be me. A lot of teachers do seem to get a lot of things wrong (not all of them, but plenty) and I've heard numerous similar things on MN and in RL. I also corrected several teachers myself when I was at school. I'm sure that went down well.

I do agree with squonk that they should be put right, but in as gentle and friendly a way as possible - we do all make mistakes after all (I've mellowed a bit since I was 14, I suppose!). Don't sweat it - if and when you see the teacher, you can make light of it and say "whoah I really lost it over the Mr/Dr thing, we doctors are very proud you know, hope I didn't scare you" or something.

With any luck your SDD will have chucked the letter in the bin on the way to school to avoid embarrassment anyway

har har!

Teachers get things wrong on purpose you know, to encourage independent learning.

1. Your sound a bit touchy about the medical hierarchy. No one is actually that interested in the hierarchy of other people's jobs. The teacher was trying to pass on a bit of general knowledge trivia and cocked up.

1. Your sd can easily get all the info she needs from you, you being a senior doctor n' all.

1. Your sd has the pleasure of informing her classmates that the teacher was WRONG - far more subtly undermining than writing to the teacher and you appear quietly superior into the bargain.

1. No need to worry. You've not been that much of an arsehole. In the grand scheme of things, this is small fry and it'll be forgotten in a few days.

Sheesh, surgeons think they are it.

Weeell, I'm a teacher and we do make mistakes as we are human. Kids freqently point it out and then crow about it.

Not sure what a letter would do, because it is more of a general thing, rather than subject specific to teacher.Was it a careers talk? If it was then that is a different thing.

Just to wind you up further, as the possessor of a PhD I'd like to point out that strictly speaking only PhDs and MDs (and holders of other doctoral degrees) are entitled to be called 'Dr'. The title is extended to members of the medical profession purely as a courtesy.

Sorry, couldn't resist!

oh zofloyya
you toyya with us

Well, things worked out pretty well in the end, the teacher wrote me back a very gracious letter the same day, apologising, explaining the context of what he said, and inviting me to come and give a talk at the school assembly, about my career (particularly as it's an all girl's school and I am in a male dominated medical speciality, which he thought would be intetesting for the girls to hear about). I couldn't be churlish after that could I!?

Thnaks for the helpful replies. Yes, I am a bit touchy, I suppose. But this stepmum business is a little nerve wracking at times! I am getting the hang of it though. (I think)

my Dh did a Phd as well as his medical degree zofloyya becuase he was fed up with me pointing that out

crikey nicola - you sound terrifying. I hope I don't ever teach anyone with a dsm as scary as you. Imagine if she had made a mistake about something important!

so sorry -I meant he.

And I call myself a feminist

Oh, glad you got such a friendly response from the teacher. That sort of mistake does set my teeth on edge - teachers carry a lot of weight and shouldn't talk rubbish. If they don't know something, they shouldn't pretend they do! But they are only human etc. etc. etc.

N63: great to hear that the story had a happy ending.
Top marks to the school for inviting you to do a lecture: they sound as if they ready to take advantage of any opportunities that come their way, which is great news for your DSD. All you have to do now is offer work experience placements in a medical environment and you will be the Head's favourite parent.

I have now met the teacher at a parents' evening and he was very nice about it all! He also corrected the mistake publically in the weekly school newsletter, in which he always writes a column.

I am loking forward to giving the talk, in a few weeks time. I wish I could have offer to have interested schoolgirls come to my work some time, unfortunately I work in a clinical setting in which we can't have children visiting, so that's not possible.

Thanks for all the advice, much appreciated as I am new at this parenting thing!!

Sounds like it is all going well Nicola