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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Getting year 7s to school. Is this unusual?

58 replies

blurredlines · 06/09/2016 20:04

So dd started year 7 today. One of her closest friends got in the same school. We have made plenty of practice runs with buses over the holidays so she did really well getting there and back today. Anyways mum of the Friend has made is clear under no circumstances can dd friend make her on way to school with my dd or on her own. She just can't face letting her dd go . It's absolutely her choice but I just wondered how common is this ? The parents are very over protective. The bus journey is around 15 mins and they are have phones.

OP posts:

yeOldeTrout · 06/09/2016 20:25

There are other threads on MN where folk say similar, it's unthinkable their offspring could travel alone.
One family we know told their DD it was absolutely illegal for the girl to so much as step out the gate onto the pavement by herself, before the age of 12 yrs.

People are weird.

Crocodillian · 06/09/2016 20:29

My family didnt let me until I was doing GCSEs. It wasnt helpful.

Floggingmolly · 06/09/2016 20:30

Are they actually going to collect her every day? She'll be a laughing stock...

Original poster

blurredlines · 06/09/2016 20:33

Yep! They both work full time too so don't know how they will do it

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 06/09/2016 20:36

Please God they're not employing a childminder . If she's picked up by a nanny; she'll carry that with her to 6th form and beyond.
The parents must be nuts.

PolterGoose · 06/09/2016 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

swingofthings · 06/09/2016 20:50

I remember how anxious I was when DD walk for the first time to her secondary school. It was only 10 mns away and I wasn't an overprotective mum at all, I'd had no problem letting her on her own at home, for more than an hour, but something about her alone in the big bad world was frightening. I remember counting the minutes standing in front of the window and taking a deep breath when she appeared.

I am so laughing at this now! I must have learnt my lesson quickly because DS was coming home on a 15 minutes bus journey by the time he was 10 and didn't feel half as bothered.

Hopefully the friend will reassured her parents that she is ok about it and wishes they let her and they will accept the inevitable that you have to let your baby go at some point sooner rather than later.

elderberryflower · 06/09/2016 20:54

I know a 14 year old who has been dropped off and picked up every day of her school life. Lives 1 mile from the school on a well lit road with a pavement. Bonkers.

nicp123 · 06/09/2016 20:58

Not unusual at all and I wouldn't judge other people or label them because we don't know all the facts.
Someone I know behaved the same towards her child because she was advised to do so by her Local Authority.There were very good reasons which were confidential; therefore, not to be discussed with me.
Personally I did make trips to school with my DSs' in their first few weeks of Year 7 as they wanted me to.

Wellywife · 06/09/2016 21:05

Oh dear. DS and DD both walked to and from school alone in Y6. At secondary DD might phone me for a lift if she's feeling lazy and I'm at home, but generally she's independent. As are her friends!

thepurplehen · 06/09/2016 21:08

My DSC live less than a mile away from school. Have been dropped and collected virtually every day by my dp.

I don't think it's helped their ability to be independent and one has just been diagnosed with a vitamin d deficiency.

Floggingmolly · 06/09/2016 21:12

The local authority advised someone not to let their secondary aged child travel to school alone, nicp? . Was she the birth parent?

WhatTheActualFugg · 06/09/2016 21:16

I know a 17 yo whose parents still pick her up from evenings out. No lone taxi/bus/train journeys for her.

How she's supposed to cope when she goes to uni next year I've no idea.

nancy75 · 06/09/2016 21:19

Every child is different, just because one is happy & confident making their own way to school it doesn't mean another will be. There can be a big difference in kids in any given school year, some of them will be turning 12 this week whilst others only became 11 2 weeks ago.

Original poster

blurredlines · 06/09/2016 22:16

Dd friend really wants to get the bus with dd. The friends dad has been known to be obsessed with stories where kids go missing . They would only leave her at bday parties in year 5 ! Just think it's sad for her but each to their own.

OP posts:

insan1tyscartching · 06/09/2016 22:29

elderberry I've taken dd to school and picked her up every day too, she's 13. Despite being very clever she has ASD and associated co morbids. You obviously wouldn't know by looking at her you'd probably think her spoilt and me over protective however if I wasn't able to take her the LA would taxi her door to door as they too see that it is necessary.

insan1tyscartching · 06/09/2016 22:30

Oh and I even have permission to park in the staff car park as it's closer to the school than the visitor's car park which would most likely incense you further.

Davros · 06/09/2016 22:43

I drop off and pick up DD (13) most days . She's a lazy cow who would be late, I'm usually free and I have a lot of baggage from being sent to school on my own from a fairly young age and in a inset on two tubes and a bus. I tell myself that the day will come when she won't want me to do it but there's no sign yet. She comes home in her own when I can't make it, she's perfectly capable. Someone also told me once that a lot of bonding goes on during the school run and this is another source of baggage for me bum pathetic aren't I ?

imwithspud · 06/09/2016 22:50

I don't think getting dropped off and picked up at secondary is unusual or embarrassing, seems like a bit of a mn myth to me. Loads of kids did it when I was at school and I was jealous as they got to go home in a nice warm car whilst I walked home in the rain/cold

imwithspud · 06/09/2016 22:55

Oh and the school I went to wasn't necessarily rural either.

nancy75 · 06/09/2016 23:52

My mum picked me up from school, I wasn't embarrassed I was just happy not to have to get the bus!

Middleoftheroad · 06/09/2016 23:58

Lots of kids get dropped off/picked up at the secondary school where I work. Nobody bats an eyelid.

PumpkinPie9 · 07/09/2016 08:17

Lots of kids get dropped off/picked up at the secondary school where I work. Nobody bats an eyelid.

Ditto where dd goes

PettsWoodParadise · 07/09/2016 08:46

This is the same at DD's school. First day in Y7 yesterday and she came home on her own on the bus. Another parent who lives very near us wouldn't dream of letting her DD on public transport. Mum is 45 and her parents still pick her up after late nights out and they are in their early seventies. So perhaps it is a family thing that progresses down the generations? Even if I had an aged P to pick me up I wouldn't dream of asking them to do so.

MyballsareSandy2015 · 07/09/2016 08:58

Wonder what they'll do when the DD insists she wants to get the bus.

It is a bit scary letting them go off on their own but it's also absolutely essential. They change so much in year 7, one minute you're worrying about a 15 minute bus journey, the next they're getting a train, bus and tube to town.

I do find the novelty wears off though and they go back to pleading for lifts.

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