Starting Y11 support thread

[AtiaoftheJulii]

(Yeah, I'm procrastinating ....)

For all those with one or two (or more?) offspring going into year 11: controlled assessments, coursework, practicals, performances, GCSE revision (or not ...), being guinea pigs for the Maths and English 1to9 exams, choosing what to do next - schools/sixth form colleges/college/apprenticeships/BTECs/A levels and more - and generally being 15!

It's a tough year academically - in some ways harder than sixth form I think because there are just so many subjects and exams - and a tough year emotionally - not always mature enough to organise themselves, too old to have organisation imposed upon them!

Ds still has an MFL CA, a couple of science practical CAs, and two assessed drama performances, plus coursework to do for History I think. I can't see there's going to be much let up and he's definitely feeling the pressure I think he'll probably end up staying at his school for 6th form (he's very mathsy and his school is a good fit) but we may well look at a couple of sixth form colleges as he's already talking about whether he can go somewhere that won't feel quite so pushy.

year 11 info evening was interesting - discovered that the history revision dd has done isn't actually on their curriculum. Best part is that dd knew this but was interested in it so decided to learn it anyway.

More maths angst. I confiscated her phone as a last resort this weekend. It wasn't fun but she (eventually) did what she needed to do. Chemistry ISA was done last week, physics should be finished today, so no more assessments except for French which is in November & March I think.

I'm worried about mocks, don't think she is. I'm exhausted by the whole thing actually. They have a proper exam result day thing with their mocks followed by a mentoring session. I don't think it will have much impact on dd but who knows!

Another late starter feeling the need to join please! I have skimmed the thread & will go back to see if I can find the revision apps mentioned earlier.
Had our info eve last night, fab school, feeling really unsure of how things will go & how best to approach with our tricky ds. He's bright, had all A* predictions but the reality is that he's unlikely to achieve the targets. He is a late developer, immature, uber relaxed/happy go lucky, struggles with organisation, motivation but the more I get involved & try to help the more he shuts down. After eoy exams he has been dropped down to modular science & he got a c for his re short course, disappointing as he's taking this as a full GCSE.
On the plus side this time last year we were having terrible trouble with him, refusing to get out of bed, missing transport to school, threatening to get himself expelled, you name it. He was very unhappy & the atmosphere at home was awful. Managed to come home & keep our exam/revision anxiety to ourselves, hoping to drip feed to him over the coming weeks, this seems to work best with him. Mocks in Jan, really feel that at the end of the day it must come from him but desperately want to make him realise that he will have so much more choice if he puts in the effort. He's so lucky to have the intelligence advantage.

Well the honeymoon is over! I got a call from DS's drama teacher to say that despite a detention and 2 behaviour points he has not done any homework for 2 weeks. Also that his CA, predicted an A* is currently scraping a C. We agreed that he would stay after school to rework his CA and he would complete all outstanding homework by Monday.

DS and I had a long and calm-ish talk and he admitted that he has too may distractions at home, he rushes through his work and revision so that he can go on the playstation / ipad / phone / tv / the fridge. He said he tries so hard to focus and even puts his gadgets in another room but is constantly drawn back to check them or just have one quick game. We have now agreed that he should go into the homework club every day after school. I am going to speak to his head of year so that attendance is not optional and he has to go each day. Perhaps then he can do his homework and revision away from distractions and go on his gadgets at home.

What is so disappointing is that he knows his gadget obsession and lack of focus is causing him to do poorly at school but cant stop himself. It is like he is addicted. Unfortunately I work full time and don't get home until 6.30 by which time he should have finished his schoolwork (and tells me he has), I am so stressed and exhausted, he just doesn't get it.

Oh no, mines. But great that he has admitted he has a problem and is willing to try to do something about it.

Here my lovely DS is working hard, but is really feeling the pressure I think - not a natural student and spent rather a lot of years not knuckling down...

Thanks Tilly. I emailed his head of year last night as I am not sure whether they can actually force him to attend homework club. I kind of want him to have the motivation to attend himself without the threat of a sanction if he doesn't go. He says if he is not made to go then he will go for a while and then stop.

It is the lack of reasoned thinking that frustrates me so much. Why cant he understand that his school work has to be his priority. I don't want to force him to do anything, I want him to want to.

I need to stop rambling and go an wake him up. [hmmm]

oh no mines :( That's hard ... I think hw club is a good idea though. DD has a couple of hours at school (one lunchtime & instead of RE) where she gets pretty much all her hw done, it really helps.

Is anyone's child doing AQA geography? DD started revising last night & was a bit shocked to discover that they need to do three topics from physical & three from human - is that right? They've only done two physical & one human. And their CA assessment still hasn't been marked. She wanted me to email the geog teacher to find out what's going on - I've suggested she just ask her teacher today.

DS is his usual relax self, mine I suspect we have the same problem regarding gadgets but at least your DS admitted to it, mine is in complete denial. I told him he has 5 weeks till mocks and he should revise, I got the "not yet, there's plenty of time".

I guess I need to stick to my plans and just wait till the mock results hit him and hope he'll pull himself together then.

I feel the same mines it needs to come from them but it's -so- hard to stay calm. I take the approach of giving him all the info, consequences of not following a plan & revising etc, support & taking any help the school can offer. Meanwhile I'm keen to keep the positive atmosphere at home as much as poss which means keeping my mouth shut about picking up after him & choosing my battles. I feel it's a delicate line between being a kind mummy & him turning into an entitled that my future dil will blame me for forever more

French speaking assessment today. 2 lots of English coursework on the go too. It seems pretty relentless. She seems to have decided to stay for 6th form and not look elsewhere but some of her friends may move.

No problems with gadgets here, but problems with not eating enough and doing loads of sport. Not quite sure how we sort it

We are going to visit another sixth form tonight - have never been in the school as DD was dead against it for some unknown reason!

DS seems to have been working full-out since the start of Year 11. His grammar school has always been quite slack on homework but this year it's a totally different story. DS currently has four controlled assessments on the go or imminent, and lots of other tests - the ante has definitely been markedly upped.

I feel quite sorry for him TBQH.

Visited DS school last night for open evening for DD who is hoping to join the same school and managed to get some feedback from some teachers who recognised me. Apparently he is a very hard working boy. He must show this only at school because I don't see it at home but they seem to be happy. Not all of them obviously as I haven't spoken to all, but maths and a couple of sciences.

That's great fleur how reassuring. We are starting a new initiative today of breakfast out with dad to have a chat in a v low key way about school in general. Our plan is ultimately to build into this some revision (without him hardly noticing)
If I mention school/revision etc I get little back or he'll just totally shut down & disappear into his room.
At worst we hope to it'll keep school somewhere in his mind once he's out of the gates, & remind him how close the mocks dates are getting, or maybe just help maintain the happy atmosphere at home!

Great plan Ready. Hope it works. DS has been good since his self imposed compulsory homework club, with 1 hour detention on Friday and 2 hours on a Saturday if he doesn't go every day. I hope he keeps it up, I think it is a little extreme but if it works then so be it.

Went to see a sixth form college which I really liked, but DS thought was just OK. The good thing is he thinks he now knows what A'levels he wants to study - Maths, Economics and Psychology and maybe one other. No idea what he will do with it, but its a start. Happy Mummy

Quietly leaving this thread again. Ds been missing lots of lessons because of "'extracurricular " stuff (couple of days d of e during school time, sports stuff etc). Remaining time spent on gadgets. Have no idea how he is doing and no idea about what/when he has any assessments

We're just clashing again. His "leave it to the last minute" approach is driving me insane, and isn't working for him either.

We went to look at a 6th form college which seemed ok. One more to look at next week. We also had a "Lesser Spotted Sciences" Taster day to give him an idea of university courses that might suit him. That was good and has directed him to a subject that he hadn't been considering. But he has CAs in Drama and Spanish this week as well as 2 English pieces of course work on the go. No evidence of any work on these at all.

Had already decided that if his effort grades this halfterm are low (again) then he needs to work downstairs at least for those subjects. But I'm finding even the 2 week wait until then stressful as he just doesn't seem to be putting in anything more than minimum effort. The particularly frustrating aspect is that he is still talking about Oxbridge without the slightest idea of how much work is involved. I need to step back and allow him to fail. But that is hard.

So hard flying but if chasing after them doesn't work, what is the alternative? Historically, trying to enforce any kind of routine, removing privileges etc has only resulted in Ds shutting down totally & despite my strongest self control, me completely losing it spectacularly.
Dh is much cooler than me & can put up with a lot more nonsense. I struggle as feel ds is calling all the shots, indulged & rewarded for little effort, & will grow up entitled, however, he IS now completing work, improving the standard & nice to live with!
So impressed he has the ambition to get to oxbridge, at least he has something to work for, even if he doesn't achieve it, it's got to help to give him so focus, albeit perhaps a little late in the day
Good luck

Your son sounds very much like one of my DDs Ready. Incredibly frustrating isn't it. She really doesn't seem to get how serious this year is, she's capable, predicted As and A*s but currently achieving Ds and Es. Does no homework, no revision. Swanned round a local college saying how much she'd like to go there, but when I told her it was a very academic environment and she'd need to get very good grades, I'm accused of being unsupportive. She's not willing to view other colleges as a Plan B either.

I completely understand what you mean by calling all the shots as we also had trouble with her last year, not wanting to go to school, walking out when she did get there, loads of detentions. At least she's calmed down in that respect so I'm trying not to rock the boat.

oh there's angst here :( dd & I both have stinking colds. She's just got her progress & attainment scores - no prog 8 score because she didn't do SATs & the predicted grades seem completely random. Big argument about maths (as usual) this evening ... her predicted grade has gone down from an 8 at the start of y10 to a 6 now. There's a very long list of topics she either hasn't done, can't remember doing or just can't do. She 's got to get a good 7, there's no plan B.

Wow, reading through some of this I realise I am SUPER behind. 5 weeks till mocks? Being organised about 6th form/college? Ahhhhh!

Please can someone put all this into perspective for me? Is everyone else's school telling them about open evenings, when to apply by or giving them any info at all? My ds' school has always been very communicative until this year, but maybe it is in part because the do not have their own 6th form? Or maybe just because they're older now and should be figuring it out themselves?? This is my first dc in yr11 and I don't want to mess things up for him.

I'm linked to one school which is 11-16. There was a Year 10 & 11 information evening in the 2nd week of term where 6th form colleges came to sell their wares as it were. But otherwise no further information - it is down to the young people to explore their options. Around here 6th form Open evening started from 1st October and will go on through November. One college locally gives priority to applications received prior to 2 November, but otherwise most dates are December. That said, it really does depend on your dc having an idea as to what they want to do at 6th form. There are an immense number of options out there from apprenticeships to vocational courses and A levels, so it would be hard for one school to keep track.

Thanks FlyingFortress. That does make sense. Unfortunately for me I'm the most organised in our family usually (sorted everything for both dc's seconday applications/viewings etc) but having just started a new and stressful job, and dd just starting yr7 all this is in my head like aaaahhhhhhh, where to start, it's too soon!

Finding out what he wants to do feels like finding the holy grail at the moment!

I feel the same noodoodle, luckily DS's school has a sixth form so they will interview the students and give them advice on what they should study.

Laniakea what a lovely distraction! I would be distracted also.

No news here except arguing with DS quite often as I cannot put up with the lack of effort.

I am also visiting schools with DD for her coming 11 plus exam next year. Arrrghhh I wish I could run away from home now!

Ds school includes six form, and always presumed dc would continue there. We have just been sent invitation for 6th form information evening but wasn't sure we needed to attend. I'll get Ds to find out...
last year I took Ds ps4 away for a week but he just ended up sitting on his laptop. I don't dare taking that one away, as he needs it for school work (I think...)

Our sixth form evening isn't till Nov. Feels late to me, but maybe they want to discourage the girls from leaving? DD is sorting out work experience and A level choices, but doesn't have a clue as to what she wants to do. She has narrowed her choices down to 8 possible A levels...