Starting Y11 support thread

[AtiaoftheJulii]

(Yeah, I'm procrastinating ....)

For all those with one or two (or more?) offspring going into year 11: controlled assessments, coursework, practicals, performances, GCSE revision (or not ...), being guinea pigs for the Maths and English 1to9 exams, choosing what to do next - schools/sixth form colleges/college/apprenticeships/BTECs/A levels and more - and generally being 15!

It's a tough year academically - in some ways harder than sixth form I think because there are just so many subjects and exams - and a tough year emotionally - not always mature enough to organise themselves, too old to have organisation imposed upon them!

Ds still has an MFL CA, a couple of science practical CAs, and two assessed drama performances, plus coursework to do for History I think. I can't see there's going to be much let up and he's definitely feeling the pressure I think he'll probably end up staying at his school for 6th form (he's very mathsy and his school is a good fit) but we may well look at a couple of sixth form colleges as he's already talking about whether he can go somewhere that won't feel quite so pushy.

My DS is 16 next week and I am having a party for him for 40 this weekend. I must be mad.

I am so worried about his results that I have decided not to book a holiday this summer. I want to be around in case I have to think about a plan b or plan c and my friend was away at the end of August last year and her DD was not able to register for new colleges after her results because they were not around.

I also want DS to do the national citizenship course, which I think is in the beginning of July. So that takes the whole six weeks.

So I don't know how I will fit in a summer holiday. My DD hates me and thinks its not fair. I hate me too sob

Hm, still clueless what Ds is supposed to do. I only think they have mock exams after Xmas , but no idea about any other assessments. Ds seems to be more playing games on laptop and mobile. Yesterday I caught him on his mobile at 23.30....
He is staying at the same school for a levels but haven't been told when he has to decide about a levels. I suspect it wouldn't be till much later..
He mentioned about 3 sciences

I need to book a holiday otherwise I will go mad. GCSEs results 24th August and 11+ exam for DD second week in September. So it will be a stressful holiday anyway I assume but at least I will keep busy and stress in a more relaxing environment. Or maybe I am lucky and I don't care anymore by then.

minesawine 40 teenagers in one place?! you are so brave, you have now become my hero!

We've been told last night that only students on track to achieve their predicted grades or close enough will be allowed to go on study leave next year, the ones tracking behind will do extra tutoring at school. I informed DS last night just to warn him and he suddenly decided he'll join the maths and French support group now.

Drivingmadness DS is doing a lot of work...on his PS4. I give up. I am hoping as the school head teacher said last night, that the majority of the boys tend to pull themselves together and actually revise in January after their mocks come through badly so I will hold my nerve and hope for the best.

minesawine, very mad brave to host a party, but if your DS is the type prepared to do that national citizenship course, he is probably fairly sensible?
Could you not go on holiday before the results are due out? That's what we do as DH always has to be back for them.

Fleur, that sounds like a good carrot!

I am feeling a bit behind-hand as DS is still doing work experience

Will give an update on the party next week, although his stinking attitude over the past few days makes me want to cancel it. Phone and PlayStation confiscated yesterday because of his constant backchat, stroppiness and door slamming. Why do they slam door so much.

School have said that they will be having revision sessions at every half term, which is compulsory. I am happy with that, but am not sure he is.

Perhaps a holiday straight after school finishes will be well needed. I just need to check the NCS dates.

mines, sympathies - DD was a door slammer. Not so much now, though she shuts her own door firmly at times
DS's school do loads of revision sessions too. I am hoping DS will go - most worked well for DD.
Could he do the NCS before the proper summer holidays start - after he finished early/mid June?

I have no idea what the dates are for anything. But DD doesn't have any ISAs or CAs this year, which is good. She doesn't have much Hwk at the moment, and I am not suggesting she revise yet. The exams are a while away yet (I think the mocks are in Jan) so I don't think she needs the two hours a night pressure yet. The school has told them to relax, so we are!

I don't know the dates for anything either but ds has said this week he has been doing his controlled assessment for history and next week he starts his PE assessment. The school seems to be keeping them on track.

We have booked next year's summer holiday for the 2 weeks before the schools break up as ds should be finished by then at least I hope he will.

Fainting here at the thought of a party for 40 teenagers! You are very brave minesawine!

Just in case it helps this was part of our year 11 parents meeting

And this

Thanks Fleur!

Wine - I'm sure it will be ok, just make sure you're prepared! For dd1's 18th I spent ages moving everything that I cared about at all into a locked bedroom - even took the tv off the wall! It meant there was really nothing to be worrying about. She had a 16th party too but it was smaller and I basically restricted them to two rooms so it wasn't so bad. So far neither dd2 nor ds have wanted that sort of party fingers crossed!

I'm counting this morning as a win - ds got up a bit late, was quiet and very miserable, hadn't done some homework for today, wouldn't eat any breakfast (even though he admitted he was hungry!), and was saying he wouldn't stay at school for his sport club tonight (usually the highlight of his week). He did end up leaving late, but had been talked into breakfast (and cake ), said he'd talk to the no-homework teacher, let me pack his kit "just in case he changed his mind" and give him snack money for the gap after school before the session starts, and went out talking about how great his new form tutor is. Feeling like a Good Mother this morning, lol!

Really proud of ds. He saw someone being badly picked on at school and all over social media, so he stepped in and invited this boy into his group of friends.

Oh, that's lovely, well done him

Can I join?

My oldest dd is in Year 11, she is quite young in the year, she'll be 16 in May.

Has anyone else seen a rise in stress level in their child? Since the start of the year, my dd has gone into meltdown over relatively minor issues - mislaid textbook and Maths homework sheet. It's so out of character for her, she's normally very laid back.

Last night ended with a screaming match as we had imposed new rules over mobile phone use (see my thread in AIBU!). She said we had interfered with her way of working, why can't we leave her to do it her own way. Once she had calmed down it was after 11pm with Maths and Physics homework due in the next day! She did a bit of Maths and I emailed the Physics teacher to explain.

I just can't believe the change in her. Last year was so relaxed!

Sorry - joining this thread late. DD had an awful summer with lots of controlled assessments and homework on top of DOE and a music exam she'd chosen to do. So far this term, not much homework and no mention of any more controlled assessments - she's never had so little in any previous year. I did suggest she revise a bit this week, but I don't think she has.

DD is very chilled about going into Year 11. She's the sort that'll stay up until 11pm to tick all the boxes on homework/controlled assessments so I think she knows she can't do any more.

The school have a music concert on about the time of the mocks - music is her passion and there's no way she's going to miss that despite the endless practice sessions at a time when she should be revising. Their Year 10 exams were termed as mock mocks, so I think that helps her feel more settled - she's had time to think about what went wrong and has predicted grades from them which are basically in line with teachers assessments.

We'll certainly be around for results day. My niece didn't get the results she wanted and her parents had lots of chasing around to see what else Sixth Forms could offer. DD plans to be away with a friend returning on 23rd August, then the 24th brings her 16th birthday and results - fingers crossed she can celebrate both.

Having had three girls go through the system, I think meltdowns are quite common for year 11 girls Dancergirl. It can get a bit like tiptoeing over broken glass at times. Hold out for summer holidays and plan some treats.

ds and his friends seem much calmer. Thank heavens.

well done to your DS LittleHoHum! We had a similar one, a girl having prosthetic legs joined DS's school this year and he came home saying that him and his friends have decided to keep an eye on her in case she gets bullied or anybody picks on her.

And I think a lot of meltdowns are due to hormones, not just exams and stress, DS has days when he will be the sweetest child and days when I think he hates us all and he would move out of he could afford it.

Thank you little As she's my oldest I don't know what to expect. I do think though there is a culture of teenage girls getting hysterical over these exams. I do try and reassure dd and tell her that the requirement for sixth form is 7 Bs which she is more than capable of getting, and also that GCSEs are soon forgotten about once into their next stage of education. But they all think they are the be all and end all.

Next summer seems ages away. Dd has her mocks in January and I know she's worrying about them.

Some really great support on this thread, thank you everyone. Good to know I'm not alone!

Very true about hormones fleur although dd1 at 15 and a half has shown very little typical teenage behaviour so far which is why her meltdowns are so surprising now. She said last night that she sometimes feels she can't let it all out so I told her it's ok to have a cry/scream when she needs it.

13 year old dd2 is very emotional and hormonal at the moment so maybe dd1 feels she needs to hold it together....

Can I join?
DD1 started Y11 last week!! I am not sure if she is worried about the exams or not, at the moment all I hear about is Made in Chelsea love problems .
She knows by now 4 subjects for A levels that she wants to do, so looking forward to dropping subjects that she won't need for university.
I am not sure about CA and all the jargon.
What is everyone doing about visiting schools for 6th Form. My DD wants to stay in her school for 6th Form, which is fine by me, but I think that she should visit what other schools/colleges are in the area, and then decide. What do you think?

ceci I think if your dd is happy at her school and it has good results, why rock the boat? Unless there is really something the other schools can offer her, I don't see a reason to move.

We are undecided here - dd wants to apply for two boarding schools that offer a vocational dance course alongside A Levels. Personally I would prefer her to stay at her school with her lovely friends. I haven't promised anything yet to dd - there's the audition to get through and the discussion about whether we can afford it.

all I hear about is Made in Chelsea love problems - it's good for them to have outside interests to relieve the pressure

If she wants to stay and you're happy with that decision, then I don't think there's any problem with staying. My dd1 knew she wanted to stay at her school and that was fine by me. Might be interesting to go and look at somewhere really different? But I don't think you should feel you need to just for the sake of it.

Ceci, if she knows she will definitely get in and wants to be there, there's no problem. As we aren't sure how DS will do, he will be applying to a few so he has a range of options.

Tiger, the school timetable sounds a bit rubbish for your DD - hope she manages to get to do all she wants to.

DS still has one more day of work experience, but it has been so worth it. Yesterday he chose to make a cake then cleaned down all the surfaces and mopped the floor, all off his own back - he has been doing catering

We won't visit any other sixth forms. DS wants to stay there. Putting all our eggs in one basket and all that but if he doesn't get the grades and we are desperately looking around then we'll have to accept whatever is left anyway.