Bright child, zero effort, mediocre grades - how best to handle?

[Noitsnotteatimeyet]

Ds2's GCSE results are decidedly mediocre (actually worse than his mocks which is quite an achievement).

He's very bright but just can't be arsed. His minimum target grades were a couple of As, with all the rest A apart from a B for English (which he's always hated). His aspirational targets (what his teachers thought he was perfectly capable of getting) were all A apart from A for English. He's been in top sets in a generally high-achieving comprehensive so there are plenty of hard-working children around.,,

His actual results are no A*, 3 As, 4 Bs, 2 Cs, 1D and a U. Two of the As are in subjects he wants to do at A-level but his third A-level will probably be a subject in which he got a B.

He has given a sum total of zero fucks over the last two years. Every bit of coursework had to be cajoled out of him with teachers stretching deadlines to the limit. He point blank refused to go to any of the extra revision sessions laid on and all in all has simply not engaged.

Technically he is fine to go onto the next stage as his school accepts pupils onto A-level courses with a B but I worry that he's given himself an uphill take to get decent results in maths and sciences with so much of the GCSE curriculum misunderstood by him.

I have been quite pissed off with him today purely because of the lack of effort, waste of potential and general 'am I bovvered?' attitude

How can we get over this and turn things round for sixth form?

I wish I'd had someone pushing me the way you are :( I've done alright academically but I'm not where I want to be :(

In my experience OP I'd add my vote to the 'nothing you can do' fraternity. My approach was low level nagging on an occasional basis coupled with a very, very rare outburst of frustration along the lines that a lot of opportunities might go down the Swanee if gears weren't got into. Things did shape up, though it might have been in spite of me rather than because of me.

First day today ... He has actually done the maths homework which was set as a bridge from GCSE to A-level (and complained it was too easy ) so that's a good start .. Fingers crossed he keeps it up ..,

There are three possibilities, lack of maturity (ie. understanding the reason why he needs to apply himself to benefit his future), lack of interest in studying (can be the subject, can be the method of learning) or an overall lazy attitude.

I wouldn't be concerned with the first, it will come. I wouldn't be too bothered with the second, however, might want to help him understand what and how it is that he likes to learn and gear his study/career choices towards it. I would be very concerned if it was the latter and would apply a 'kick in the bottom' approach to it.

OP you can't make them work, they have to WANT it themselves.

It is totally frustrating; my DS had amazing GCSE results, mediocre AS and ended up with ABC (just missed a second B). That was because all tech was removed in the run up to exams.

He didn't get his offer for Uni, but ended up there anyway, studying a different subject. His choice and he was keen to go.

Roll on to the end of his first year and he failed it.

He is now going back to re-sit Yr 1 again. Hasn't looked at a book since he came home 3 months ago - has spent his time gaming, morning, noon and night. Says he wants to go back and will work this time...

I seriously doubt anything will change. I will be amazed if it does tbh.

My DH says if he fails again his PC is not coming back in the house.

It"s going to be interesting...

I was Miss Give Zero Two Fucks. I look back and rack my head how my parents could have changed how I was feeling at the time and I don't think they could. I wasn't miserable and I wasn't depressed. I just needed to grow up.

Not everybody, even really bright kids, are cut out for the sparkling A Levels, Top University path in life. Some of us just need to find our own way. But I know, as a parent, how frustrating that can be!

very few children get the full grades they are capable of, because very few children actually put in the maximum effort, and the ones that do are not generally the happiest, best adjusted children.

Look at yourself, are you going to go all out to put the maximum effort into your job today, or are you going to work hard enough to feel satisfied with yourself and earn a living.

Life isn't about constant effort. We live in luxury here in the uk with minimal effort. You don't want your kids living their lives pushing themselves to the max. You want the to find the balance between working hard, and enjoying life, love and interests.

Your DSs GCSEs are fine