Managed move

[youarenotkiddingme]

My DS (11) has a school that has agreed to take him on a MM form September. Initially it's a 6 weeks trial.

He has DN and dx of ASD with associated LD (mild) and sensory difficulties and anxiety.

Current school are crap. They've tried to get him out and now have their wish!

MM is on basis DS is too anxious to attend school as he suffers anxiety and a pupil pulled a knife out and aimed it at DS.

Afget the 6 weeks I believe that a meeting is held where DS gets to decide which setting he'd like to attend.
Can current setting refuse to have him back or new setting refuse to take him on permanently?

Ds hasn't attended school at all this month so I'm keen to get him back into education and la are being tits over EHCP assessment. (They've refused and their argument is they don't have evidence DS has a dx of ASD )

I do want and think it will go well.

I 100% believe it would if current school weren't involved somehow.

That's a good idea re dictation. I could also ask about reading programmes. I'm happy to buy him headphones and also have been looking at reading pens as an option as my aunts school uses them. I'm happy to buy him one if needed as he'd use it at home as well.

Ok. I've made my decision. I'm going to provide them reports and ask reasonable questions about How support DS currently gets will look like in new setting. I'll then ask if his support will remain as it was in old setting of if it will becahsnged to reflect the most recent reports and recommendations.

Then I'll ask them questions about how they like to communicate with parents. I'll say they can email/call about anything at all they want to know/report so we can work together for ds.

I'll ask about homework and what's best for them re communicating this. They could always email DS or me (great idea) or write in a planner for him. Tbh I don't really care how it's done - just that it is done! Same with most things really. I don't mind how the support is set up because I acceot it has to fit the ethos of the school - I just ask that the support is provided and that when ds is struggling after school with self harm etc it's recognised it's because of school stress and that won't change without us all working as a team to support him.

It would far easier of da could communicate for himself! Id happily be left further out of the equation than I usually end up being

smer his current school don't want him there! There a whole backstory and that what left me anxious about new school.
There is a thread I linked to ^^. Basically DS was having trouble with another pupil. Was kind of 50:50 (both have besd type difficulties) and clashed shall we say! I ask d school to do something as lad kept being physical with DS, DS then kept punching him and both getting social social exclusion. Ds would turn up and other lad wouldn't. This distressed DS more although I did explain to him to concentrate on his own behaviour and not anyone else!
The result of me asking HoY to step in and do something about escalating situation to keep them both apart and safe from each other was for senco to suggest we have a meeting. I turned up to be faced with HT, senior, ass senior, head of SS and HOY who suggested a managed move as I didn't trust them . It was awful and I felt extremely intimidated.
I emailed HT to tell her so after and explain my concern really is both these boys.
A week later this boy pulled a knife on ds. HT refused to meet with me. DS refused to go to school. Eis said trying new school was an option. Current school emailed within 10 minutes of EIS getting off phone to them basically saying MM was what I'd said I'd wanted and we should meet to arrange this etc. Even when I kept saying I wasn't sure it was best option and needed time to consider it they badgered me saying inclusion service were adamant that's what i wanted and that's what they should do.

So yes, I was pushed into it but I do think ultimately it's the best option for DS. I just needed to get over the not letting current school win and actually doing what's best for ds even if it means the shit they've put us through gets brushed under the carpet.

Sorry for massively long posts. But it's quite cathartic getting it all out

Yes - let go of the win - it won't matter and a year or two - it's hard when your child is unhappy and nobody is listening -

For reference - any further incident you just keep it DS thinks DS feels DS said etc and keep any other child and your opinion to yourself - your child keep it about him - it works better than putting staff on the defensive of another child they have to care for

Oh yeah I did that. But whenever I said DS feels, has said, can you..... They went on the defensive.

I mean this is the school that on the day DS got referred by Camhs to primary mental health service for CBT sat and told him he was happy in school, he needs to go to school and he needs to stop giving me a hard time about it. They wrote it down as rules.
Camhs wrote DS behaviour was all anxiety related due to school and his inability to manage education without significant support and reduction in demands.

Actually the more I What's his reasoning it's ok for your boys to share 24/7 and his DD not sharing for 24 hours?
Just that she struggles to settle? In that case it won't matter where she stays.

Personally id go with everyone having own space. If baby is a girl it makes sense her and DSD will share for the foreseeable. But if it's a boy then it may only work for a few years but then you can revisit the situation.

You can always give the baby and dad a bigger room and use ikea kallax units a s divide down the middle which doubles up as storage. Then eaach has a bed either side of the divide.rite the more I realise there actually can't be many schools about like this! They really were unique in their approach to caring for kids. Especially when they advertise their no 1 is 'kindness'

Sorry it seems to have pasted something I wrote earlier on another thread! I have no idea how or why 😂😂😂

Current school is crap your well shot.

In all this how's DS about going to new school? What if anything are you doing to help him? Are there any FB groups - we have Y8 moms for info you could join?

Ds can't express himself very well. He's keen to start new school but I'm not sure it's because he really doesn't want to attend old one iyswim?

All he says is it'll be good if they give him the help he needs because current school don't.

I'm very positive with him about school - was about old one even when things were dire. I never allowed him to know what was going on behind the scenes. He did eventually work out for himself I was advocating for him and nothing changed.

I'll keep being positive - and I'll keep him informed of everything that's going on (in a way he understands and with what he needs to know).