Schooling for an academically middle of the cohort sort of girl

[ArundelTomb]

DD is academically average. I had thought she'd go to the local selective day school (like her older brothers). But it's becoming clear that's unlikely and even if she has a bit of a spurt in the coming years, I'm not certain an academically pushy school would work well for her. I'm not disappointed in any way. She's very popular, a real joiner-iner and has enjoys lots of out of school activities.

So now we have to think again about schools. Would you send her to an outstanding comp down the road which is absolutely fine for the academics but it doesn't really offer her much for her interests. Or would you send her to a fee-paying school for academically average girls ? Where they do lots of music, drama and art and have a superb languages offering? (She is very keen on all of those things.)

It's a lot of money for the girls' school: over £20K per annum once you've factored in the bus and uniform. We can afford it.

What are the pros and cons of a big mixed, outstanding comp on the doorstep, or a small froo froo girls' school?

School is about so much more than academics. My DDs loved the comeradierie of a mid sized independent school and enjoyed much higher standards of music, art, drama and sport. There was no comparison with the local schools. They also found that there was a far great opportunity to be chosen to take part in something. In a big school children get balloted out of trips, don't make the orchestra, never get a chance to take part in the school play (even if there is one) or be given responsible positions. Their education was very broad and served them well for the future. It also gave them confidence.

Spending your saved money on extra curricular out of school is great in theory but unless you live in a city, you will be running around like mad trying to do that too. It becomes increasingly difficult at secondary age when homework kicks in. Having good activities at school is such a bonus. I would go for the independent school. If you feel it is too sheltered, change for 6th form.

I'd go for the independent.

Also... your average dd may blossom and demonstrate greater ability than you expect. Dd has always been a quiet plodder at primary age. Doing well but not incredibly well when compared with her two male cousins who constantly asked questions, had amazing general knowledge, real thirst for learning etc etc. However, now year 8 she is showing real mathematical ability and can write a killer essay! I can see she has just taken longer to gain confidence and interest and I feel terrible that I didn't recognise what she's capable of before now

I'm probably not In a good place to comment here, having had a raging row with my husband when , admittedly in a temper so I don't think he really meant it, he said that if ds2 wasn't academically up to following his brother to a highly selective, he didn't want to spend money on him.

I realise your point is about fit, but if you think the girls' school is right to support her academically at her level of attainment and will allow her to pursue her wise interests with likeminded children, and you were planning on paying fees for her if she could have / should have gone to the more academic school, why wouldn't you?

the OP has said many times it's not about the money!

it's about which school is best. paying does not always mean best. Especially if it doesn't have a good reputation academically locally and the bright girls go to the outstanding comp.

I'd also go for the independent. We moved our quiet & 'was never going to get any attention in a class of 30' DD from an 'outstanding' comprehensive which unfortunately wasn't outstanding for DD. She moved to an average girls independent school, but this went bankrupt after 18 months. The thing is DD loved that school & the girls school it merged with & looking back, she's grateful for the move from the comprehensive. I would also be quite nervous about paying for your boys to go privately & not your daughter. Of course her heart is set on the comprehensive then you could give it a try & see how it goes?

Agree with many others that independent does the most for the middle of the road kids.

Although it is about the best school for your daughter I'd also say it's about the money. There's no obvious reason why you'd send her to the comp and I'd be worried that it would have a massive affect on sibling relationships.