Last chance saloon - DS won't revise

[BlueGazebo]

DS won't/can't revise. I've tried everything... timetables, hands on, hands off, revision guides, bribes, threats, DVDs, nagging, not nagging, removing PS4, giving back PS4. We are nearly at the end of the road now. I asked him yesterday if he wanted me to stop trying to get him to revise and he said "no". Yet, earlier on in the day he got very angry and told me to go away (so that he could play with toys and pretend to revise). He is a very bright kid with a really good memory. He could get As and Bs if he would just do some revision but he won't/can't. He has dyslexia and a sprinkling of ADHD which may have something to do with it. DP has suggested that today I don't say anything at all in the hope that it will kick start him. I don't think anything is going to work and if it was anything other than his GCSEs, I would totally give up on it.

I know many people are not poor through their own fault but I have always said to my DC education is the opportunity to actually improve your chances at earning a decent wage and its shit being poor.

My Family were both wealthy and poor, grand house and large income but alcoholic stepfather used to spend money like water and give money away! Mother spent her time fretting over her past glamorous life of being a professional dancer and model and we used to have a few showbiz types visiting the house. She really didn't care about education at all, was all about ensnaring a wealthy man.

My Mother thought it was more important to teach us how to walk properly with bloody books on our heads than actually read them.

I have been a hardcore gamer for 30 years though there have been times I have had to drop it.

In Destiny max level cap is 40 and Max light level is now 335. He will have wanted to play all the time this past week as its been Iron Banner a limited event with good loot. I stayed up till 3 am in an attempt to get all my bounties done. The event stopped running this morning.

I certainly did well at school but like your son have an amazing memory. When I was at University I was one of those annoying types that spent most of my time partying and just scribbling off an essay a couple of days before deadline and doing better than my poor mates who spent a week sweating over it. Hopefully he is like this. As an adult when doing all day in house training I would be done in an hour or two and then just sit and log my PC to an online game and play that if possible or just think about stuff while asking the odd question throughout the day so it appeared I was doing training.

Have I underachieved in life? I had a decent job in higher education and ran an academic library. I actually made my money through investing though and taught myself to do it as a teenager. Hell yeah I underachieved but I always wanted time to game and my most successful friends do crap like leave the house at 5am to commute in to the city and they will only have free time when their dead.

Well done to your DS on getting to 335 I'm at 319 as I have not been playing Destiny for 2 months till this week as hooked on The Division. If you want to befuddle him ask him if he thinks the warlock storm caller should be nerfed.

I'm interested how old you are, as I was having a conversation with a friend recently about parents lack of involvement with education and it seemed that was very much the norm (late 70s/early 80s - I left school at 16 in 1984 with one o level).

My mum was educated, one of very few in her area to get into a grammar school but she just didn't get involved in what me and my brother were up to at school.

It does seem a more recent development to be so involved as we all are (two DDs in year 10).

Also think it's two extremes and there's a balance somewhere.

Piemernator He says " When you get the perk transcendence activated your super lasts far too long - I think the timer should be reduced. Also, the range of thunderstrike with the amplitude perk activated needs to be reduced a bit".

MyBallsareSandy yes late 70s/early 80s would be about right and same story with both my parents and the grammar school education. I think there must have been many shocking schools around at that time. Our maths teacher told us if we didn't want to do the work then we could sit at the back and not make too much noise - which we, being "too cool for school" were happy to do. I didn't even read the English Lit books (my Mum was an English teacher).

blue I share your pain... Ds2 is mid-way through GCSEs and is doing diddly squat

He's still not up (just reading in bed) and has no drive to work at all

Encouraging, cajoling, nagging all have exactly the same effect - zilch

He's very bright though (his targets were all A/A*, not that he's going to get results like those now ...) so he's probably not in danger of failing anything completely. Dh and I have had to step back and let him get on with it, frustrating as that may be

Like you, however, I really worry about how he's going to cope with A-levels...

If the computing is ocr/Cambridge they have an online course with videos and other resources. Your DS could try that to fill in the gaps, much more interesting than trying to use notes or textbook. Mind you I tried encouraging my own DS to use it when he was complaining but not sure he has.

I was educated in the 80's and though my parents showed some interest it was nothing like parents do now. No idea what work I was doing, no help or nagging with revision...

Thanks all,

As I predicted, he spent most of yesterday on Destiny on the PS4 but he has volunteered that it should be removed this morning. It has been removed before but he has immediately started playing with anything else that comes to hand rather than revise. My goal today is to not hassle him and to nudge him into watching some of the Comp Science on line videos. I will tell him that I am available to go through past papers with him but I won't try and make him do anything.

You just want him to do his best - but he is doing his best. He doesn't know how to revise and he can't organise / motivate himself. Probably due to his ADHD / dyslexia.

What you really mean is you want him to reach his potential. Which he possibly won't do. But he is doing his best.

Also don't underestimate how much revision he's done in class. Nor how bright he is.

But ultimately he's 16 and it's his life. If he wants to redo his GCSEs later he can.

But right now he really is doing his best. This is his current best.

BlueGazebo, could have written your post myself, except DS has Aspergers - seems really troubled about not having done the work he planned ( well, not done any at all !) over the past few days yet won't make a jot of difference to doing any today. He is year 10, just finished science gcse's and doesn't want me to help him organise his time, just wants me to leave him to it; but when it got to a few days before the exam asked me to go through revision guides with him - found myself reading key points out to him which felt ridiculous really but he felt it helped. Holidays are the worst as he just does nothing even when is really behind on assessed coursework. Currently am in a 'leaving him to it ' stage but just beyond frustrating. So , sorry no good advice except you are not alone! Suspect getting out of the way whilst making sure they are clear happy to help if asked may be the best, but hard to watch them dig s hole and jump in it.