DS yr 7 worryingp

8 replies

Queenofthesilverdollar · 17/05/2016 21:51

DS has come home from from school today upset he got 14/30 for a chemistry assessment. He is in top set and at end of last term got a 6b. Obviously it's just one test, he has good grades generally and gets top mark for effort in all his subjects.

DH and I have been a bit wary that he is worrying a lot about his grades, he doesn't believe he's doing well ( all his assessments are 4/5/6 s) We are always clear he's doing well and the thing we consider important is effort not grades. At primary he was chilled, confident etc. He seems to be turning in to a worrier and we don't know what else to do

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 17/05/2016 22:32

Hopefully nothing will come of this dodgy grade and he will realise that it's not the end of the world to occasionally slip up.

TheSecondOfHerName · 17/05/2016 22:41

These things can be relative. 14/30 may have been the highest mark in the class.

I try to encourage the DCs to measure their progress against their previous performance, and also to celebrate achievements that might not be measurable in a grade, for example (for DD) managing to work quickly enough to finish the paper, (for DS2) remembering to read the question carefully and not rush, (for DS1) having the resilience to stay calm and keep going if he can't answer some of the questions.

moosemama · 18/05/2016 10:45

If one of my dcs starts obsessing over a bad grade I remind them that I have absolutely no idea what grade I got for my assessment when I was in Y7. I also adnit that, as we're all only human, I had my share of individual poor grades for tests over the years and it wasn't the end of the world. I studied for my O Levels (yes I'm that old) and passed those, went on to do A's and a degree and no-one has ever asked me what grade I got for my eg, Chemistry test in Y7. That seems to help get things back into perspective a little.

I also tell them that I flunked every single assessment in my Childcare O Level (that I only picked because my friends were doing it). I hated every second of the subject, but I passed the O Level itself and they all seem to have survived, despite my poor 'childcare-related' grades when I was a young teenager. That usually raises a giggle and helps them see that it's really not worth winding yourself up about.

moosemama · 18/05/2016 10:46

admit - not adnit

kitkat1968 · 18/05/2016 21:14

Oh bless him! Tel him 1) everyone is allowed a bad day once ina while and 2) It isn't like primary school where everyone is expected to get fuill or nearly full marks

amidawish · 19/05/2016 11:28

if he's worried i wouldn't try and brush it off. Tell him it really isn't a big deal in the scheme of things, but what did he get wrong? does he understand what he got wrong?
what were the range of marks in the class? was his typical?
i'm sure if he feels a bit more in control he'll handle these ups and downs better.

prepeduc · 19/05/2016 12:04

Agree with amidawish - don't brush it off. Crucial thing is for him to work out what he didn't understand properly, and help him to do that! No point in building him up without doing that. Help him to see it as a learning opportunity - reacting that way to low marks will stand him in excellent stead in the future.

Peanutbutterrules · 19/05/2016 12:04

I'd check with him re: did he revise or not? Then do a cheerful 'onwards and upwards' kinda chat. Don't let one test throw you etc etc. If he's really worried then I'd suggest he talk to his teacher about revision techniques. We've found that when DD has had a bit of a disappointing test chatting to the teacher helps.

Then...before the next chem test offer to help with revision/cards/verbal run through etc.

Flip