Pastoral care at secondary school.

[icouldabeenacontender]

My dc is in year 9 and not happy at school.
She has struggled to make friends not least due to a medical condition that has resulted in a long absence as well as impacting on being able to join in with various activities. No PE, field trips etc.
She often sits by herself and is always the one nobody wants to partner up with or have in their group for classwork. She feels very underconfident and excluded from things.
The health side is now improving I am pleased to say, but she is still very much on the outside.
I phoned the school several weeks ago regarding the fact she was unhappy, crying about going in etc etc. I have had no follow up yet.
I just found out that my dc also spoke to her form teacher several weeks ago about the same thing.
Head of key stage 3 spoke to her and said really there was nothing they could do as friendships can't be forced.
The school has a pastoral care team of 9 people apparently so I am amazed at the lack of help or am I expecting too much?

I would have thought that her teachers could be more proactive in making sure she is not always the one who doesn't get picked.
She has sometimes partnered up with the teacher rather than worked in a group, that cam't be right surely?

Yes, I will end up having to go in.
I'm so disappointed that she hasn't even seen anyone from pastoral care.

Shameless bump for any potential teacher input.

Ds2 has struggled to make friends as he found reading emotions difficult. His school set a a small group of children who were having friendship problems and role played emotions, behaviours, cues etc. It might be worth speaking to the pastoral care team. I have found ours to be very helpful.
Ds2 now has a very good group of friends.

I would definitely be expecting more from pastoral. They could get her buddies up with someone in her year group - do they have any student anti-bullying ambassadors? A few schools I've been in do this.

Are there any clubs or activities she could do? Non-active stuff, like book club or film club?

What a shame and really not,something that should be happening.

The pastoral teams at my school are amazing. There is just one 'officer' per year and that means they are school mum to around 240 kids each. And that's just what they should be! I suppose it's not very helpful to tell you what it's like at my school, but I really would encourage you to go in and see someone. They should at least be helping and not just saying there's nothing they can do.

Hope you and your DD get the support you need.

Glad the health problems are improving. Would be unhappy with partnered with the teacher instead of a group. It appears the teacher is not addressing the problem but going along with it. The lack of follow up from the pastoral team suggests your DD is not a priority for whatever reason (children with worse issues etc). I agree you need to go in for a chat and look them squarely in the eye.