National Offer Day- From a Child's Perspective

[rebeccapm]

My daughter is very distraught about the outcome of National Offer Day. She wrote this [as a letter to the editor] this morning, thought I would share:

My name is Lucie. I am 10 ½ years old, and I’ve never been more stressed in my life.

We keep reading in the newspapers about how stressful secondary school application process is for parents, but what about the children’s point of view? Here is mine:

It started last fall, when I had to take a bunch of entrance exams. Months of studying, doing extra practice exams, weekends spend taking tests and visiting schools, trying to do my best on each exam, although they were all so different. I worked hard, and am at the top of my class. We even moved houses a while ago, to be in the catchment of the school that I really wanted to go to.

Then we applied, then came the big waiting game. I’ve never waited so anxiously, for so long. October to March seemed like a very long time.

March finally came, and the few days leading up to it, all the papers were talking about how bad the school admissions process in London is and how oversubscribed. But still, I had my hopes up.

I thought I had a chance to get into my first choice. It was really the only school I wanted, but the other five on the list would’ve been okay. Unfortunately, I didn’t get my first choice. Or my second, or my third, or my fourth, or my fifth, or my sixth. I was allocated a place at a failing school, based only on the fact that it is the nearest to my house. I don’t even know where the school is, and have never even heard of it.

Meanwhile, I started receiving texts from my friends at school, telling me where they got a place. Most got their first choice and were texting happy emoijis. I had have to have my mom text them back to tell them my news, as I was so upset. I cried most of the night, and today is not much better. Now I’m stuck on waiting lists, in limbo, wondering if I will get in, hoping against all odds. My parents are talking about moving out the suburbs, but I want to stay and be near my friends as London is my home now.

I would to the government to know how difficult this process is and that there are probably hundreds of children in London feeling the same way I do. New schools need to be built, the system needs to be improved. Children should not have to go through this amount of worrying at this young age, just to get a proper education. In most places, the most worrisome educational application comes at age 18 for university, not age 10/11 for secondary school. Please fix this process, so that other children living in London don’t feel like I do today, the day after National Offer Day.

Sorry, OP, but I don't think this one is going to go viral.

I think often parents don't even realise the stress they are putting their own children under regarding school selection. It's very sad.

How do you know it's a 'failing school' rebeccaapm, if you didn't know of its existence? Don't be persuaded by OFSTED or local reputation, go and see what you think of it yourself, and then make a judgement.

As for entrance exams: I am not in a grammar area, but e.g. Kent or Bucks which are, just have the one 11+ exam per county for the children wanting to go to grammar school, not an 11+ for each school.

It's mostly those children applying for independent schools which do loads of exams, and how many they take is definitely to do with how many their parents have entered them for.

Letter reads to me as if it has been co-written by an adult. If the child is so stressed by the process, you as a parent need to take responsibility for that. Encouraging this kind of letter to the local press will exacerbate rather than alleviate the problem.

Did your DD get offers from the private/selective schools you applied to? If not perhaps you were aiming for the wrong schools. Or do you have a private banked that you intended to use if you did not get a top state?

Like other posters, I find it bizarre (and contradictory) that you have never heard of your closest school but know that it is a "failing school". IME ALL London parents are very aware of the "swervable schools" in their vicinity - that is how they avoid putting them on their application form.

You should be telling you DD there is a lot of movement on lists between now and September. Put her on the waiting lists for the schools you prefer - taking account of the admissions criteria. The strong likelihood is she will get one of her preferred schools by September. In the meantime, talk up the school she has been allocated. The very few failing secondaries in London receive a massive resource boost and are turned around very quickly.

You are making it much worse by catastrophising in this way. STOP.

You should accept the offered school unless you will definitely home-school for years should a better place not come up.

From what I have read on here, declining the school will not help any appeal, and may even put the panel's back up.

I think I and other responders, have no issue with your DD having a view. However as a parent you maybe had a duty to protect her more from the process and to be positive about all options.

The problem is your address, the choices you put on her form and your dd's 11+ score not being high enough. I sympathise that it's very expensive to move close to outstanding schools in London and that even if your dd is bright it's hard tutoring your child harder than other bright children to get that extra mark.

You've been allocated a local school. Even if it's failing, that is better than some children got yesterday. I'm surprised that you would move to an address where the nearest school is failing and not realise that there was a very high chance of being allocated it.

The head's advice is terrible. Accept the failing school and go on the waiting lists of any other acceptable schools. If you reject the place and don't get a waiting list place then you could end up sending her to a school that's even worse and very far away.

As posted on here numerous times. Always accept the place you have been given unless you have a private option or are going to home school. The Local Authority has done its job and found you a school place and it doesn't legally have to do any more. Turning down the place isn't going to get you up the waiting lists any faster or help with any appeals. I think prh and tiggytape say that turning down a place can even hinder an appeal.

It is also worth looking up any other school near you that you are happy to get to and seeing if they have places left. If they have you can accept a place there and still remain on waiting lists/appeal for your choices.
If you search on here there is some excellent advice on appealing. There is also lots of poor advice so be careful who you listen to.

Unless you can explain how your daughter knows that a school (of which she has never heard of) is 'failing', I think you will face some quite justified criticism on here, as the assumption will be she has heard it from yourself. You are now, still, heaping on the pressure with a proposed move away from friends/her home.

Your job was to ensure your DD did not feel the pressure of the system and prepare her for any outcome. If you had carefully looked at the admissions criteria for the 6 schools you chose (I'm assuming some of these were Grammars as she did exams and therefore you had a good idea of her chances BEFORE you put them on the form) you would have had a good idea that she might not be be accepted?

Weird advice from your DDs Head! Don't turn down the school you've been given, you must accept it and then appeal/go on waiting lists etc for the others or you could end up with a school even worse on the other side of London.

I agree it sounds like you've been over-sharing this secondary school business with your DD, but you can't 'undo' that now, so just concentrate on boosting the school you've got, visiting it, and reassure her that everything will turn out ok. It usually does!

I'd be interested to know what part of London you're in, as London secondary schools in general are mostly on the up now. I also agree with a previous poster who said that sometimes this 'failing school' business can be hearsay from a while ago. There was a school like this near me, nobody wanted to send their kids there and I was distraught when my DDs were originally allocated it and relieved when they moved up the waiting list and got into our first choice. However, roll on 4 years and everyone is choosing the other school!

It started last fall, when I had to take a bunch of entrance exams. Months of studying, doing extra practice exams, weekends spend taking tests and visiting schools, trying to do my best on each exam, although they were all so different. I worked hard, and am at the top of my class. We even moved houses a while ago, to be in the catchment of the school that I really wanted to go to.

Phew. Was this meant to be a lesson in how to stress your dc out about the application process?

a failing school in special measures will get a lot of resources. go see it. strange you didnt know of its existence...

but reality is a lot of movement between now and september and even in in first or second term. get her on wait lists for preferred choices.

if the school allocated is not working out she can stay on wait lists and move later. but you going to have to be positive about the school and how it is improving etc and has maybe great dance facilities or some such

stop talking about moving to the suburbs you will end up in same position and no friends nearby!

and work to build her resilience, she should not have been so anxious between October and M arch

I agree - very poor advice indeed from your headteacher.

You should have been advised to accept and then get on waiting lists and/or prepare an appeal. The local authority has fulfilled its obligations to offer you a school and does not have to find you an alternative.

There is lots of threads running now , with great advice and guidance on how to maximise any opportunities to secure an alternative place at a preferred school, so I won't repeat here.

But genuinely sorry for your dd, that she is so disproportionately upset. I hope it works out for her, either by discovering that the local school is not as you fear or that you find a place for her in a school that you are all happier with. Good luck.

Did you actually put all selectives on the form? Is that possible?
I know some people get none of their choices, but did you have an 'insurance' school that you included?

Just for comparison, my DD lives in London and has only applied for state schools. She has done one borough test which was done during school time and we didn't do any any practice for. She hasn't had any other tests and because I haven't stressed to her about it, she didn't even know it was offer day when she woke up yesterday.

Your story sounds very familiar with families going down the private school route though.

I hope your DD gets a place with which she is happy. There is a lot of movement between now and September on the waiting lists so don't give up hope yet.

"Most of DD's friends got their first choice."

... so the "system" works pretty well for most people? I'm sorry that your DD is going to a school that she doesn't know (but can surely get to know it?) but it sounds like her list of preferences just wasn't realistic.
Also, what happened to the school you moved into catchment for? If you've missed out by (say) miniscule distance you probably have a good chance of getting in off the waiting list.

Has your Headmistress really advised not to accept the offer? In Herts, if you decline the school offered, the LA is under no further obligation to help you find a school and appeals panels take a very dim view. In other words, accept the place and continue with waiting lists.

And you haven't been let down by the LA, you've been allocated a school.

It sounds rebeccapm as though the stress your DD has felt has come from both you and your husband not knowing the system and not putting in sufficient work to find out.

Yes, it is stressful as others on MN will testify, but you have been offered your nearest school. You can't start pinning blame on the Local Authority for that. You have then been given dud advice by your current headmaster - again you can't blame the Local Authority. The LA sound as though they have done a reasonable job.

If you are really upset and private schooling/home educating isn't an option then you need to get on waiting lists and start preparing appeals for the school you would like. Remember you are appealing for a school not telling the appeal panel why you don't like the school you have been allocated.

I for one have sympathy for the OP's daughter. My DD knew all about which schools were good and which ones were bad, not from me but from her friends at school! They do talk, girls especially, and people who end up in schools considered "bad" are pitied and ostracised. DD was on the phone with her friends last night, one poor girl was turned down for her top five choices and ended up in a local school that has a very bad reputation, she was in tears on the phone and all of the others on the line were commiserating and sympathising and secretly glad that their applications turned out OK. Don't be so quick to blame the parents!

Justanother - and where do you think all the 'friends at school' are getting their information and opinions from?

I don't think it's playground gossip about 'failing schools' we are objecting too - it's the way the Local Authority is being blamed, when they seem to have done OK.

There are 'black holes' were there is no local school and the LAs are hamstrung in that they have to allocate places but aren't allowed to make provision and plan a new school, but it seems that any Tom Dick or Harry other than them can open a Free School. That's something to get annoyed about but it doesn't look as though it applies in this case.

I have absolutely zero faith in the labelling of schools in the UK as 'good' and 'failing' or 'bad'.

My nearest school is 'outstanding' and gets good results, despite its disadvantaged intake. However, it's part of a massive academy chain with huge teacher 'churn', high rates of exclusion, and teams of people whose job it is to shuffle staff and children around the different schools in the academy chain to make sure it looks good in OFSTED inspections. The kids complain that it's not a nice place to learn and the 'happiness' rating is low (as measured by parents responses to OFSTED.

I took my dd out of this school and sent her to a different school with worse value added and a worse ofsted, where she was well cared for and where many more of the parents are happy.

And actually even schools that are labelled as 'Outstanding' by OFSTED and are liked by many local parents are seen as 'sink schools' by local privately educating parents who don't go by what goes on at the school, but on the appearance and behaviour of the children they see outside the school, and by the hard data of exam results.

Go and see your 'failing school' OP. I'm sure the teachers there would be DELIGHTED to have your dd as a pupil and would do as much as they could for her.

As minifingerz says - go see for yourself. Talk to current actual parents, not scaremongering heads. Also check the evidence, look at the data available on the school, not just GCSE results but all sats and value adds, teacher / student profiles, how much the PTA raises, everything. It's easy to do, just go somewhere like schooldash- it's all publicly available if you want to see it.

Am I the only one that finds it odd a 10yo reads education stories in all the newspapers?

If it is the school closest to her house their must be children living near her that go to it. A chance to make new friends and walk to school with them?

I am also surprised no one on this thread has said "a clever kid will do well at any school".