If you had £100k to spend on your child education ....

[3WiseWomen]

What would you do with it?

Would you spend it on a private education, on sending them to lots of different activities, summer camp and the likes?
Would you prefer to keep that money for them in the future, for Uni and then after (house deposit, whatever)?

I'm contemplating sending dc1 to private school as he is quite unsettled/unhappy in his current state scondary. Lots of reasons for that that won't be solved by 'just' changing school (even though it might help a bit).

So I'm wondering, if we were to pay that sort money for a secondary education, what would be the best to do so he gets 'the best out this money'?

I'd use it on private education if the school was outstanding both academically and pastorally. DC go private but I wouldn't pay what we pay (£100k doesn't cover all 7 yrs of secondary round here!) unless I thought the school was miles better than anything else around. In their case, I do.

If the school is right, then the ethos it instils in them, the confidence drive, hard work ethic and ambition should all mean that they can stand on their own feet as adults. Imo, that's a better way round than ending up at schools with low expectations, academic mediocrity and poor class room control then patching up the damage by paying uni fees. That's the option round here. And that was my own experience of state education at secondary. I don't for one minute believe private is automatically better. But the very best private education versus the average local comp is no contest, so if you have it, you'd be mad not to spend it.

Except, as you've pointed out, at £100,000 you don't actually have it... And you are investing a lot of confidence in a school being entirely responsible for making confident, ambitious, hard working people out of your children.

YES, worth spending on private education. We did it, and we are not rich. Our DS said that he had "the best time of his life" when he went there. Plenty of activities and 'free clubs', lovely large picturesque school grounds, lovely teaching staff, facilities, brilliant friendships, etc.

We moved.
Calculated private education would be £250k and decided to invest in property in area of outstanding schools instead. Very happy with our decision so far. We do spend about £300 per month on extra curricular activities, some of which I guess may be covered in independent school fees but definitely not all, I would imagine about £50 worth.
I am pretty much guaranteed a return on my investment. I can't be guaranteed that the return on investment in school fees would be the same, however you measure it. Our school has extensive grounds, great staff, and my kids love it there and have lovely friends. Do they do everything they would in a private school? Probably not, but I can buy that separately.
Everyone is different!

I have been in this position! I ended up going for:

Good state school with no stressing about whether we could afford trips, new uniform and so on.

Summer camps including Goethe Institute and so on.

One or two private revision courses here and there.

Banked the rest for Higher Education purposes.

BTW I did send DD private but in those days the state schooling options were a lot less convincing. These days I have no idea why a lot of people on here bother with independent schools any more.

Really? That's a bit naïve, Boffin. State schools these days are certainly no better than they were. Teachers are shattered, bullied by pupils, unable to focus on teaching due to ridiculous admin overload and poor classroom discipline. I can never resist these threads and always find it amusing when people tell me that I shouldn't use my experiences of 70s state school education to form judgement of today's state schools. But I've taught peripatetically in lots of local comps round here and they haven't changed a bit. except the discipline is even worse than it was when I was a kid, and it was bad enough then. I am deeply thankful we can afford to pay for the school DC got into. The gap between their training (in self discipline, self confidence and breadth of knowledge) and my own is a chasm. And I ended up at Oxford, so might be considered a state school success.

Hmm. I've worked closely with a few of the teachers at my ds1's secondary and am a governor and regular helper at my ds2's primary, and have a brother who is a teacher (in a state school) and it sounds to me as though you are very unfortunate in your personal experiences with state schools, notagiraffe... Yes, there is a lot of pressure on teachers and a ridiculous admin overload and governmental interference, but there are still state schools in my experience that provide a stimulating education to the children in their care without suffering from appalling classroom discipline. And I ended up at Oxford, too. So I guess you could call me a state school success, too - not that I see the relevance of that particular point. Oh, and my dh went to a public school and does not come across to me as any more self-confident or well educated than I am. I suppose you would argue, however, that public schools were not as good in those days.

I don't think you could educate a child privately from start to finish for £100k. The school I work in, fees would be around £10 to 12k per year for reception up to about year 4, then close to £20k a year from year 5 up to year 11. Then you'd need to think about where to send your dc post-GCSE.

Might be better to attend state school and spend the money on providing enriching experiences outside of school.

Also, I think my parents provided more opportunities for me outside of school than dh's did, as his family had little money left over after school fees.

Thank you again for your perspectives.
I can't talk about how it was in the 70 but I know discipline is an issue at dc1 school. He regularly comes back with tales of X and Y who had a fight in the classroom. And it's not even a bad school!

I'm aware that £100k would be short. One of the private school around us is just under £10k a year so that's what basing it but then there is the uniform, trips and whatever else.

The more I look at it, the more I'm thinking that staying in state school and organising plenty around (after school, summer camps etc) will be as efficient and much less expensive.
It also means we can give the same to dc2 which would bar impossible if we go down the route of private.

I wish we had more choice where we are. No grammar school, one secondary (the other is oversubscribed) and a couple of private schools...

Save it for post school education, probably. Although ds1 is really struggling to achieve in school, so I'd be tempted to get some sort of tutoring in key subjects if his low attainment continues. I would never send my children to private school anyway, but even if I was a supporter of private schools it seems like a poor investment really. The whole amount would soon be gone and there would be nothing left to help with fees, living costs etc when they needed it for uni or whatever they chose to do after statutory education.

I think if you can't afford to send both children, it's a no brainer.

roundabout maybe I am unlucky in my experience of comps. I know of several state schools in a neighbouring area where I'd be more than happy to send my DC (and might for 6th form). But the ones local to here, though both have good reputations, don't begin to compare with local indie schools.

And actually, yes I would say public schools have improved massively in recent years. Bullying/fagging/sexual abuse was far more rife in those days and is far less likely to be encoded in the set up of a school than it was then. Though the sex problems weren't limited to boarding schools. In the 70s at our comp pupil teacher relationships were rife. No one turned a hair, even when the children were under age. It was a bit of cheeky gossip, nothing more.

My kids are at a London prep and to be honest I haven't been enormously impressed. It's an incredibly nice school and so they're insulated from bad behaviour which makes my life pretty easy - probably something I can't fully appreciate without having dealt with the opposite.

That said, I don't think they've been stretched at all. I think the school likes to remain opaque with respect to comparative academic achievement in order to avoid dealing with parents.

If your son is a high-achiever, I think it's something to consider.

I think it's not about private or state, it is about to find a right school for your DS. So it is important to find out why he is not happy at school. Normally, children are happy when they have a group of good friends, not bullied, have right level of challenge at school. If you can find out the reason, then you may find out a right school for him.

There are big difference between private school, there are those posh schools,boarding schools, but there are also the ordinary private school just like a good state school. Our nearest private school is quite good, not the posh one. There are certainly some rich people in the school, but majority of the people are just middle class, professional people. The school is academical, but I feel it is not overly focus on just academical achivement. Achivements on sports and musical are celebrated as well. There are lots of clubs(more than 50), from bee keeper , plant, debate,classic, racing car building, robots to sailing, fencing. Children are encouraged to take at least 2 clubs. I feel any child should find a club that would interest him. Trips in the country are normally free or very cheap. And I feel the school does organise more trips than normal state school.

However, I don't really think these sorts of school provide any more benefit than an outstanding state school. If there is a choice of a good state school, and you feel your DS can be happy there, I would recommond to save the money for his future. The network thing, I don't belive it. People tend to make friends similar to their own.

i would send them to a good state school and save the money for university. it is going to cost thousands and i am terified by the thought of it.

I still wouldn't be able to affford to send both of ours private on £100k, but that's what I'd do

dc1 is a high acheiver, the sort of child that would love to be able to get on with things and have some challenges.
His school is 'oustanding' according to Ofsted but sounds more like the school described by a teacher recenly here, ie mayhem.
So yes that doesn't go down very well.

So yes maybe private will sort some of the issues such as unrly behaviour and more high acheivers to relate to.
Will it make enough difference to justify that amount of money? I'm not sure.

We're in a grammar school area and both my girls are academically minded so I think I'd use a bit to support them through the 11+ and with school trips etc and put the rest away for university for them. I reckon I'm going to need 20k per child per year! But at the moment I've got a decade's worth of time to accrue interest to cover that.

Depends on your geographical location, notagiraffe. Two of mine are currently at a comprehensive school and doing particularly well, so I quite literally voted with my feet, on the basis of the data that crosses my desk as part of the day job. DC4 is also in very good state primary for the same reasons. I've attended both sectors as a pupil and taught in both sectors, so I am pretty ecumenical.

I always say to parents to be very careful when you are looking around and make sure you get value for money. When shelling out for private education you really need to be across the nuances of what is on offer, and asking lots of difficult questions (one of which should always be who actually owns the school, and what plans do they have for it in the future). There are some gems out there, but it's important to remember that just because you are paying for it, this does not mean it is automatically better than the other options.

Seedy underbelly of the independent sector.

School sales agency

Always be extra wary of proprietor-owned schools for this reason!

Oooooh, £100k

Well, I would think about Uni and work backwards. If they took a loan for the fees, then say £15k per year living expenses, and £5k of 'sundries' over the 3 or 4 years (lets say 3, with a paid industrial placement year) for travel and just general things. That would be half.

I would be tempted to put away £40k for house deposit, post graduate courses etc. or just anything that helps in early adulthood.

And the last £10k would go on driving lessons, cheap car, holiday away with friends after A levels, that sort of thing. I know that doesn't add up to £10k but you get my drift. It would probably get spent though.

(easy to spend it when it isn't even your own :) )

Did you mean £100k per child, or in total.

I have three DC, so £100k would be totally used up in Uni stuff if they all go, and won't cover the living expenses.

Of course in RL I will somehow have to find this money, or make some other plan....