Choosing a secondary school Woldingham, Wycombe Abbey or Benendon?

[loopygoose]

My DD is 9 but exceptionally mature for her age and increasingly ambitious. She has been telling me she wants to go to an all-girls school that pushes her hard but where the lessons are interesting.

She's:
Reasonably sporty; good at netball, hockey and rounders,
Highly musical; plays the piano, flute and is in the chamber choir.
Loves acting and art.
Good at everything, academically, but is currently showing a particular interest in learning languages; currently Spanish, French and Chinese.

She increasingly finds girls of her age a bit too silly but I'm wondering if she just needs to be in a pool of children who're brighter.
I just don't know how pushy Wycombe Abbey is and what sort of characters flourish there and whether Woldingham (which is on our doorstep) would push her enough. Benenden worries me because it's in the middle of nowhere and I like the idea that my child would stay grounded by being in a town and around 'average' people! Any advice very much appreciated.

In most schools it really is not the case that girls give up all their extra curricular and sport. A small minority may do. If your DD likes sport, then why would she not continue? I have never heard of a sport scholar not playing sport - where my DDs went to school some of the sport scholars had reduced lessons so they could practice more, especially the tennis scholars. My DDs were not sport mad, but used dance and singing as their main areas for stress release. Singing is very good for that.

As my DD discovered, 12 extra curricular is too much. Everyone asks a busy person to do more! Most pupils find a happy medium and find things they enjoy so it is not a slog on top of school work. Senior schools also introduce pupils to new opportunities. So expect to see some new hobbies. Boarding school should be about fun too.

Midlifecrisis007 I completely agree. The school my DD is in now was entirely her choice and she told me, from the start, that she always got a warm feeling when she walked in. We're viewing some on our own to begin with, partly because she has Saturday school so isn't able to make it for most of the dates. She's seen Brighton College and rejected it outright, which is a huge disappointment for me but I would never send her to a school she doesn't love. She will definitely not be going until she's 13.

Needmoresleep you're absolutely right, Woldingham is Catholic but it's Catholite whereas St Mary's Ascot is certainly not. My friend's daughters went there and I know they're really strict about it. I haven't looked at Mayfield but I will.

TeenandTween I only got to look around one of the houses; the closest to the main school buildings and I forget the name. I know they're building two new dorm buildings and it's not all about that.

bojorojo, I'm sure you're right. The girls I know who did told me it was because the school took all the fun out of playing the sport and, given that the vast majority of pupils are never going to be international sporting stars, the fun should be the most compelling reason for playing sport (but then that's just my opinion). WA is still on the list; my daughter hasn't had the chance to look round it yet, but I'm just not 100% that it's the right place for my daughter. We're going to see Benenden, Roedean, Woldingham and Wellington College in the next couple of months and we're shortly to see the HM to find out his opinion of where she would best suit.

Sport, at senior independent school IS all about winning - and I don't care what they tell parents. There is no fun in sport if it is a slog and it's win at all costs. If you are not team fodder or a brilliant individual it is hard to keep up an interest because the PE teachers invest their time in the teams. The fun people are invisible. There may be swim sessions and gym sessions available though. Sometimes non competitive badminton too.

From memory WA have weekly interhouse sport competitions which are a major part of school so sport participation is a big thing. Lacrosse is pretty dominant though and a sporty new comer at 13 who hadn't really played any lacrosse would risk never really catching up in the school's major team sport.
With any very academic school, those comfortably in the right ability zone usually find plenty of time for EC activities especially before sixth form. I think WA would certainly provide lots of ECs but sometimes the staff might need to help a girl not to take too much on.

Sendsummer, that is such a good point you're making about Lacrosse. I had clicked that it's THE big sport there but my daughter won't have played it. Hmmm.
My daughter's HM says she could go to any school because she's a complete all-rounder, which doesn't really make the decision any easier!

My DD went to Benenden and is now at uni. She loved it there and did well academically and in sport. The facilities are great and there are so many opportunities as well in the arts and music. The girls are delightful and have a lovely manner, confident without being arrogant. I don't know about the new head but would suggest you go and have a look at the school and see how it feels to you. You'll know when you get there if it's right for your daughter.

The school is in the middle of the countryside but the girls are kept busy and the lower school has a very active weekend programme and there's easy transport back to London. The perceived isolation of the school was great as there were no distractions to DD's work as she got older!