Gloucester boys grammar schools - and boys schools in general, advice needed!

[4Laurie]

Hello, my son recently passed 11 plus in Gloucestershire and was all set to go to a boys grammar school, then went along to induction day in July and came out utterly dejected and rejected the plan completely, I think he felt completely over-faced by the seriousness of the education, hour on Shakespeare, etc, and said it wasn't for him, even didn't like idea of an elite type education. Has anyone out there had this experience, if so, did you force your child to comply? I didn't and went into huge state of shock which is only slowly subsiding. We have now been offered a place at another boys grammar. Having never had brothers, and as a single mum, I had too many unanswered questions to push him forward, and still do - would value any advice. Does grammar give him a huge advantage, has just had one month at comprehensive and barely any homework, I'm already worrying...

Ds1 is at grammar in glos and loves it. He would have hated comp. Ds2 is at a comp and loves it, he would have hated a grammar.

The grammar offers additional subject choices and a calmer environment, the comp has supported ds2 extremely well, getting his dyslexia diagnosed and putting a plan in place. Both schools have offered my dc a great education and opportunities for enrichment. Top set in the comp are likely to get fantastic results.

I think each child is different and you need to discuss with your child what they want from their education.

Has he settled in his comp? Do they set? Is he likely to do well there? If he doesn't like his actual school I would go for grammar, if he does though it is trickier.

Thanks so much for your thoughts. I think it was partly the quietness of the school which put him off, he wants a kind of noisy boisterous school, on the other hand he also needs stimulating lessons. Does your son like the all boys aspect (I am assuming he's at one of the all boys ones). Is it still fun there, does he see it as a positive, or doesn't really think about it? I guess I felt going to the grammar would enable him to form a really strong friendship group for life, and this is what I'm most sad about - do you think the boys grammars enable boys to make stronger friendships? Also, could you tell me about how much homework they get in year 7? Do you have any personal experience of The Crypt and Marling? Thanks so much!

Ds1 is at mixed grammar- he gets on better with girls. We have friends with dc at Marling though and they are all really happy. Interestingly it took ds1 longer to settle in than ds2 and he has a smaller group of extremely good friends, Ds2 has a very mixed group of friends that seem happy to spend time together as a large group or as a few smaller groups.
Sorry I can't be much more help.

Genuine question - why do you feel that he would make friends for life at a Grammar school, rather than a non-selective?

I have three sets of nephews. One couple did very well at Crypt (although dad would have preferred Tommies), went on to uni and are both thriving. One nephew did very well at Severn Vale comp, currently at uni and expected to go into teaching, his brother did OK but isn't academic (but is working). A final nephew was bullied out of Beaufort, moved to Brockworth, hated it and is school refusing.

I think it's the nature of the kids and if the school fits them rather than the school on its own.

DS is in yr 13 at Crypt and has done well. I think he's been pushed enough, but not too much which I feel would have been the case at Tommie's. He too felt rather put off by the seriousness of it when he went to visit after spending his whole time at primary wanting to go there.
He's never had any problems at Crypt and I think it was the best choice for him. He wouldn't have got on in a comp, it would have been a nightmare for him.
The only thing I've disliked over the years is the failure to get those who love sport, but aren't the best at it involved. Teams, practice, even to some extent PE lessons, are all focused on the sports teams. If you're not one of the best, then it's tough. Which is a shame because I had a very sporty boy who was average I'd say ability wise, who has always been looked over which has discouraged him from joining clubs outside of school.
That said, I don't suppose you go to a Grammar school for the sport really! Homework wise, I'd say he's had a reasonable amount from the start. It's never seemed too much for him to cope with. I do remember being very surprised at the lack of it when my nephew started at one of the local comps though.

Looking at it from a different point of view, it might be that his present school are trying to ease them in gently - ask them. My DD's comp was the opposite and she was doing 3 hours homework a night and the good part of a day at the weekend (she's predicted A & A*s so wasn't taking ages as she couldn't do it).

Assuming the school set them, do they issue extension tasks for the brighter ones? This will add to his workload if they do.

I'm not sure why your son is more likely to form a friendship group for life through going to the grammar. My DD has three friends from Year 7 (now in Year 11) - one in particular she says she knows she'll be friends with for life. Also, going into Year 10 (after choosing options) she with other girls who she had more in common with (ie enjoy same interests) and sees them a lot individually as well. They may not be friends for life, but the ones who are true friends will stay in touch.

Whether grammar or comp, a larger school may provide more for him in terms of stretching him and lots going on.