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Secondary education

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Seriously worried about ds's writing - so weak. What to do?

28 replies

nicoleshitzinger · 29/09/2015 12:10

DS has just started in year 7. He's a September birthday, so has just turned 12. His writing has always been his weakest subject and I have to confess we've not really dealt with it at home, just left it for his primary school to work on. My only excuse for not doing it is that we've had a lot of problems with his older sister, and he has a younger autistic brother who's hard work, and that most of my available effort and time has gone to supporting him with his music learning and practice. He's been so resistant to tackling his weak writing that I've not found the strength to get round it.

He left primary with a 4a in his writing, which is not good for a bright child who is one of the oldest in the year. (I'm assuming he's reasonably bright - he's got a high reading age, plays two instruments at grade 5, and got a 6 in his maths SATS with no input from us). I'm flogging myself about it now as the chickens seem to be coming home to roost. He's struggling with homework and getting himself into a real stew about doing it. His sentence construction and punctuation is weak, and he doesn't seem to be willing (or know how) to develop his ideas on paper.

The awful thing is that I was an English teacher for 10 years, and I've simply done fuck all with him to sit down and work with him to address this issue in a systematic way - basically because he's so resistant to being told anything or to being made to stick at a task. It's hard enough just getting him to do his music practice and basic homework, let alone additional work on top of this.

I appreciate the view that children should start being independent with homework and that it shouldn't involve a lot of parental input, but if we don't intervene he would be happy to always do the absolute bare minimum, and do it very badly at that.

I'm now sitting down to help him with his homework every night and every time it's ending up with him shrieking and thundering out of the room in response to being asked to do more than the absolute crap minimum. An example - 3 weeks ago he was set a task to write a diary entry describing a day in the life of a perfect citizen. He started it last night, wrote about 100 words in huge type, and said 'I've done it'. I read it through and there were literally 2 or three mistakes in every line - mainly failure to use capitals, sentencing errors, and missing words. He also hadn't developed any of his ideas at all.

I asked him to print it off and we would go through it and make the corrections together and talk about what more we could add to it. His response was to shout and storm off. Apparently I think his work is 'crap' and it's not fair because he tried really hard. I know that he didn't try hard. Or maybe that he doesn't know what 'trying hard' means. It doesn't mean dashing something off in 15 minutes, not reading it through or making any corrections.

Wondering if anyone else has been in this situation and managed to help their child make big strides with their literacy, and what it would take. I know a tutoring session with a qualified teacher would help, but can't justify the money when I can do it myself - if he lets me!

OP posts:
pinkje · 01/10/2015 11:46

Meant to add, don't be so hard on yourself, plenty of us are in your shoes.

averythinline · 01/10/2015 12:05

My Ds is year 6 and has 'dyspraxic' tendencies, left handed, bright according to school but to my eyes his english writing is shockingingly bad...great at reading when he feels like it v spiky profile according to ed psych at 7. he is now getting speed up! at school -which seems to be good for his co-ordination but not the mental organisation and teh actual writing yet...

we went hell for leather doing handwriting work with this lady over the summer- not cheap but the best money i have spent on him so far as all the handwriting interventions he has had since yr1 at school and at home have had nowhere near the success she has transformed his writing into something anyone can read its amazing..
www.magiclinkhandwriting.com/

he also finds it easier to type - our local dyslexia association run classes and even though he does not have dyslexia diagnosis the overlap is huge..

my next strategy is mind mapping- its very hard for us to work together due to the tears/tantrums/its all rubbish /i'm a failure - so am really picking up each positive phrase or sentence he's done and working on it line by line and doing carrots I pay him/contribute towards toys/days out etc

any other ideas welcome I'm dreading high school and the the essay subjects as his brain does not seem to work like that...so not sure much help but lots of sympathy

TeenAndTween · 01/10/2015 14:57

averythin My DD1 was diagnosed dyspraxic in y11, so we found things out as we went along in secondary without any formal help until the very end.

Anyway for her

  • mind maps were useless. simple bullet lists were much better.
  • planning with me helped - things she wanted to say, then number them in order desired, then write up.
  • typing homework meant she could add or rearrange as other things came to mind
  • simple revision cards - no fancy colours or anything

And generally

  • expect to help much more with organisation than other parents seem to, and don't listen to others saying you should just leave DCs to get on with it and 'they'll learn to organise themselves'
  • always write down messages, never try to remember them
  • everything to have 1 place where it lives, never put it somewhere else.
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