Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

What's the view on rewards/incentives for exam passes?

47 replies

myotherusernameisbetter · 17/09/2015 19:20

This is all new territory for us this year as DS1 will be doing his first set of exams next year.

Up until now a small reward (book/computer game etc) has been given for a good school report/parents' evening. The reports etc have all been based around effort rather than achievement so I've felt the rewards have been earned for working hard.

Both DH and I came from very poor backgrounds so none of these type of rewards were ever given or expected to be given for exam results etc.

We are financially ok but not well off, but DCs (we have DS2) go to a high school where a lot of the parents are wealthy.

Neither DC has broached the subject of rewards for exams, but I have heard talk from other sources of various schemes that parents run such as £100 per A, £50 for a B etc. I have heard (though not sure if it's true), that a child has been promised a brand new car for all As in his final exams.

So, if you do/did give rewards, what did you give and for what and was it effective in motivating your child to do their best, or was it simply a hand out for being clever?

If you don't reward, do you regret that or think it would have made no difference and that the greater opportunities that come from exams were ample motivation and reward?

OP posts:

Bolograph · 17/09/2015 19:24

High performing grammar where 12a* is routine. Doing this is seen as crass. A nice family meal out on results day irrespective of results is more usual.

Original poster

myotherusernameisbetter · 17/09/2015 19:28

Thanks, fortunately we are in Scotland so will never reach 12 subjects :)

I'd ideally like them to work hard for itself and the extra opportunities it gives them but didn't know if that was completely at odds with what is normal.

OP posts:

lanbro · 17/09/2015 19:30

20 yrs ago I got £20 for each A, £10 for each B and £5 for a C, we're not even at tooth fairy stage here so no idea what the current norm is!

titchy · 17/09/2015 19:34

Nothing here either! The results should be their own reward.

TurnOffTheTv · 17/09/2015 19:35

My DD will be sitting GCSE this year, she works so hard, all the time, and has done since year 7. I'll be giving her £50 for every A* achieved. (She doesn't this yet) I just want it to be a recognition of how much effort she has consistently put in over the years.

Shallishanti · 17/09/2015 19:35

I think this sends all kinds of wrong messages
that achievement not effort is what counts
that the results are for the parents not the child
that the child cannot be trusted to work without a bribe
the work is so awful you have to be bribed to do it
as someone said a treat to celebrate end of exam time/ effort made is nicer

Millymollymama · 17/09/2015 19:36

We did not offer money or inducements. It makes no difference in my opinion. We believe our children owe it to themselves to do well, not us. We paid for their senior schools and gave them every opportunity to succeed but we did not promise money. They did get a present after GCSEs and A levels that amounted to about £50 per present but it was not offered before the exams. If a child does not understand that working for exams and achieving the best results you can is something they are doing for their own sake, then they need to grow up a bit and learn that motivation is not all about money. Same comment applies to the parents who throw the money around too. I would rather have a better family holiday than pay inducements if cash is not plentiful. Or go out for a memorable meal to celebrate if results are good. What do people pay for an A*? One of my DC got 10 of these! (Sorry - a bit boastful but you get the drift).

TeenAndTween · 17/09/2015 19:38

DD1 has just done GCSEs.

We rewarded effort.

So, during exams little treats on every exam day

Original poster

myotherusernameisbetter · 17/09/2015 19:47

As I expected there is a range of views which is good, it makes me more comfortable of deciding ourselves what is fair rather than feeling we need to fit in with "the norm".

We have no predicted results to go by either to gauge effort other than what we see ourselves.

I do keep reminding them that I already have all the material things that I want in life and if they want a house/car etc then they need to decide to work hard and try their best. It doesn't really effect me, it effects them is the message I've been giving.

OP posts:

Mellifera · 17/09/2015 19:48

OP, I think I wrote a similar post a year ago, when my DD1 started Year 11.

We offered no incentives. She was/is a child you cannot force to do anything anyway.

What we did was making the run up to GCSEs as pleasant as possible with little treats (concert tickets, a new Rubik's speedcube, new earrings etc) and we went out for dinner on the day of the last exam.

I have no doubt lots of kids at her school (superselective) got plenty of stuff promised for good exams, as on average parents are rather affluent, but we have never tried to compete and managed it for GCSEs as well.

TurnOffTheTv · 17/09/2015 19:53

Mine isn't a bribe or incentive to do better, she won't be told till after the results.

Original poster

myotherusernameisbetter · 17/09/2015 19:56

I guess part of it is that DH and I have no experience with it from our parents either so really just looking to see what other people have found/done. DSs have very different personalities too so I dnt think what would help one would help with the other and they are only 1 year apart so are bound to compare (it also means that we will have them both doing exams for the next few years and we probably couldn't sustain anything lavish even if we were minded to start it)

OP posts:

Original poster

myotherusernameisbetter · 17/09/2015 19:57

Tunoff, yes, I noticed that and I thought similar but then after you've done it for one set of exams then I guess it would no longer be a surprise so you would either need to be upfront the following years or match it?

OP posts:

TurnOffTheTv · 17/09/2015 20:06

This will be a one time only offer :-)

Savagebeauty · 17/09/2015 20:08

Mine did A and GCSE exams this year and got £200 each on results day

Leeds2 · 17/09/2015 20:21

My DD is in Y13.

For GCSEs, we paid for her and her boyfriend to go out for dinner at a local restaurant. They were back within the hour - wasn't expensive! Her GPs gave her £20 per A*. I hadn't known this would happen, it was just something they had done for older GC.

For AS, we went out for afternoon tea in London.

motherwithheadache · 17/09/2015 20:37

Never received reward myself and never thought it was a good idea anyway....till I saw DS working extremely hard on a project as the teacher had offered a sweet treat for the nicest/best work.....(which he got). Would not offer anything for what he isn't capable of.

Original poster

myotherusernameisbetter · 17/09/2015 21:10

I suppose there is the counter thing where you offer an incentive for something they don't believe they can achieve and then it becomes demotivating - hadn't thought of that before, thank you.

Thanks all - really appreciate that everyone does it differently :)

OP posts:

jay55 · 17/09/2015 21:30

I got bugger all but a lad in my class (20+ years ago) got a financial incentive linked to grades. His older brother had been a total fuck up and the dad was worried he as going the same way.
He took it as a challenge to make as much as he could and did brilliantly.

pinkje · 17/09/2015 21:53

We've just done this but we only decided after the results were known so she had no idea we were putting a 'price' on them.

SQA Highers and we offered £30 for an A, £20 for a B, £10 for a C. We didn't give her anything for the Nat 5's.

Of course the real reward is the knowledge that sixth year can be an easy year.

PS - the younger brothers now know what to expect (and they are more motivated by money; no harm then if they up their game )

BackforGood · 18/09/2015 00:34

I agree with shallishanti

I think teaching your dc to understand that achieving the best result they can get' is the reward for putting in a good deal of effort, is really good parenting.
I feel you're doing them a disservice to think that you get a 'bonus' for a good test result.

Those who think it's a good thing - If you "pay" and amount per 'A' or whatever, how does this work if you have more than one dc, where one finds academic stuff a lot easier than the other ?

Kez100 · 18/09/2015 07:42

Never done it. Never regretted not doing it. Kids have always wanted to do their best anyway.

Sometimes they work really hard and still don't get a predicted grade and are gutted. What lovely parenting to say, oh you can't have your thirty quid either with that result.

No. never regretted it. If you can find a way for rewarding effort, that's very different.

littledrummergirl · 18/09/2015 08:08

If ds1 gets the results he knows he needs then he gets to stay at his schools 6th form and then uni. That's his best reward.
I hope my other dcs have the same attitude.

We will do something nice after his last exam though.

Investmentspaidout · 18/09/2015 08:19

We always go to dinner to discuss school reports.

Both DH and I have had jobs where a bonus scheme is available and I view this as something simimilar so I dont subscribe to the general ethos of this thread.

There is an understanding that good results will mean reward of some description and we have one DS who is very motivated by money and who has always been competitive in all things. What that reward will be is currently unknown and to be decided.

Original poster

myotherusernameisbetter · 18/09/2015 09:53

I think when you only have one child it's an easier decision to make as you are not setting up precedents for siblings, you also don't have the issue of one working harder but being less bright to contend with either.

We cannot also discuss reports at dinner as they are private between us and the child, not something you would discuss with their sibling present. If they choose to share details with a sibling then that is up to them but not for us to talk about in front of them. Also after primary, they don't get their reports at the same time so it wouldn't be a joint thing either iyswim?

I remain unconvinced re the immediate reward tbh but I am still prepared to be persuaded. I'm thinking maybe an investment of our time in supporting them and some small concessions/rewards (e.g. cinema trip, cook favourite dinner etc) for studying might be the way to go initially. If the results are above what we would expect, I think we might say that we will add some money to help with uni or anything else they decide to do after school rather than a cash in hand type of thing - Hmmmm tough thing this parenting lark!

I think it is definitely different horses for different courses scenario - there are not many regrets being expressed about actions people have taken even though those actions vary widely, I am happy that there are lots of different views and methods of reward as it makes me more comfortable about setting our own agenda on what we think suits us without feeling that we are swimming against the tide.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2