Moved from abroad, no school offer, 14-yo sitting at home

[LieutenantAmerica]

My wife and I have one 14-year-old son, and got a job offer in London in February, requiring a move from Berlin. We immediately began looking at state schools but were told we couldn't apply without our London address and council tax. We weren't due to arrive until August 1, but settled on East Dulwich, paying for an empty house and paying council tax for two months starting in June, before Aug 1 move-in, so we could at least get applications in to schools we liked.

We applied 1) Kingsdale and 2) Charter. We visited Kingsdale three times, including with my son, and he took the banding test. We were told he was on place 14 for Kingsdale on the list a while later. Nothing from Charter.

Having actually moved in in August, we were told nothing else until we frantically began calling schools soon before the year began. Charter hasn't actually received the application we put in through Southwark. Kingsdale were pitying on the phone, saying they don't expect much movement in year 10.

And Southwark has offered... nothing. In several conversations they said it takes weeks to see where there are vacancies, and that there's a meeting on September 22nd to sort the vacancies out.

This is three weeks into the year. Our son is scatterbrained and has trouble with organisation, but is intelligent; he needs care and attention to do decently. Instead he's falling behind already, in an important school year. The man on the phone actually told us to engage him in the curriculum at home--only we have no curriculum and are not qualified to teach Year 10 maths and science, especially as my wife is caring for our 3yo and I'm working.

When are they going to offer us a place? Is it going to be some "Requires Improvement" school halfway across town? Can this really be the system? We're at wits' end.

(No, we can't go independent, unless there's one that costs a fraction of the 18,000/year or so we've seen around us. And we can't go religious; we can't even fake it, on principle and in practice.)

" Why do you insist in believing that nothing outside of your own experience exists"#

why don't you just button it sometimes Charis, and stop making judgements and assumptions. my children have attended a UTC and it was nothing like you describe.

"nothing like what you describe.
Charis for someone who claims to work in education you are incredibly ignorant.

My inclination is to send an email to Southwark admission office saying that they either come up with a school place in the next 7 days under the Fair Access Protocol or you will be writing to the school adjudicator about the fact that they do not appear to be willing to find a school place, against the school admission regulations.
The downside to this is that the place, which will suddenly appear, will probably be at a school you do not prefer and is at a considerable distance from home. The middle ground is I am afraid to keep phoning up schools, that you are happy with, in the hope that a year 10 will suddenly become available but also wait on Southwark doing what they are legally obliged to do, which is find a school place.

We got a surprise invitation to visit from St. Thomas the Apostle. We're not Catholic (in fact we're proudly out atheists) and prefer a mixed-sex school. I was sceptical.

I looked online to find an Outstanding rating, and 5+-good-GCSE rates better than Charter and equal to Kingsdale. Student imrpovements are top-5% nationwide. What's the catch? Do you have to become a priest, I wondered?

It seems fairly obvious. The deputy head, who is from East Dulwich, knew we must have applied to Kingsdale and Charter, and was admirably frank: "We're a very black school," and, he left the link implied rather than stated, not "fashionable".

The Catholicism is "not rammed down anyone's throat"--in fact he made every effort to downplay it. Last year's top student in Religious Education was a Muslim.

The Ofsted report couldn't be more glowing, about student behavior, student happniess, teacher morale, improved lessons, recent hires, orderliness, on and on. Or if you're a data person, the test scores simply speak for themselves.

Does anyone have any personal knowledge about the school?

St. Thomas looks like a great school and your son will be sure to get a very academic education. I am a Brit married to an American and we just moved back to the U.S. after living in Germany for six years so I am familiar with the British, German, International and American school systems. The regular UK system (if your son does well) will prepare him extremely well for college in the U.S. or Europe. If he does well in the A level exams at the end of secondary he can often skip Freshman year in the U.S.

As a practicing Catholic if I was in your situation and my son was offered a spot at St, Thomas I would consider it a gift from God! I can understand you could be hesitant to join a single sex school that is Catholic but I hope the racial background of your neighbors in London who attend the school wouldn't prevent you from choosing it. The Catholic Church in London is vibrant due to the large numbers of Catholics arriving from countries such as Poland and Nigeria. Nigerians in particular are stereotyped as having very high academic standards for their children so your son can expect some stiff competition for academic accolades. A good British school will also offer lots of pastoral help to your son while he transitions into the school so you may want to have a look round and speak to the staff who would have the responsibility of pastoral care for him. Can he visit for a couple of days before you make a decision?

Also the last two years of school "Sixth Form" in the UK are co-ed at this school.

Interesting development, good luck!

I'd be very interested to hear what you decide OP. I live in the area and know what a struggle secondary education can be. Best of luck!

Oh it sounds great - I hope you take the place!

BTW a localish C of E school to me has pupils who are about 80%+ muslim, not all religious schools are selective (in practice) on religious grounds.

Our son has taken the placement tests and we've bought uniforms - it looks like we're going ahead.

As a (white) southern American who went to a nearly all-white suburban school in a typical "white-flight" suburb, I have absolutely no soapbox to get on here. But I do wonder why there is next to nothing about St. Thomas here on Mumsnet. I expect the vast majority of us here would love a good mixed and high-quality comprehensive. But somehow the forces of choice and something I can't quite figure out lead some schools to be practically all one race or nearly all of another, even though nobody would wish that outcome. St. Thomas's Ofsted report is so glowing we should all be fighting to get into it, but I suspect the deputy head was right about why it's not "fashionable", and that's a shame.

I hope my son will be happy there, and hope that it'll be a great learning experience in more ways than one.

That is lovely news. I hope he settles in quickly, and well.

I went to see St Thomas the Apostle today, what a cracking school. The students were polite but sparky and engaging, the teachers were super enthusiastic and the buildings and outside space were great. Amazing ofsted and results, I think you've landed on your feet! It takes a little while for a schools reputation to catch up with the reality, I don't think it will stay undiscovered for long.

Lovely news OP. I'll be watching with interest, as my kids reach secondary age. Keep us posted, will you?

Try using IXL or Bitesize for the moment. You are required to provide your DS with some sort of education.

Update: my son is now having a bit of a hard time; initially sceptical, he warmed up to STAC, and said people were friendlier than he expected. He has made decent academic progress and they've been great about being on his case regarding writing in his planner and doing homework - instant detention for failing to do either, and for being late. Their focus on discipline shows in Jack. That's the good.

The bad: he sticks out like a sore thumb and hates it. He complains about boys constantly trying to do his American accent and asking if he has a gun or has ever shot a black person. When he was finally shoved over a desk by a boy, we started looking around at other schools. (The other boy was instantly excluded for a week and the head of year was very sympathetic, but we were pretty shaken up and angry about it.) The other boys could only eagerly ask him if he'd fought back. He's not a fighter and this kind of environment won't be good for him if it doesn't change.

In short we're now looking at other options again. There has of course been zero movement on the waiting lists at Charter and Kingsdale. So I don't know what to do.

Really sorry to hear about your troubles. Is private school an option at all?

Ask to remove your son's name from the thread.

He has only been there less than a term, walking into established friendship groups. I do not underestimate how difficult it must be, but try and stay positive. He is different but kids get bored / get used to things and the old mantra if you don't react they will stop doing it.

Stay in close touch with the school, if there are issues let them know. Try and encourage new friendships, encourage him to invite friends over after school.

To be blunt he's going to stick out like a sore thumb wherever he is. At least he's been there a term and the novelty will be wearing off soon. If he moves he'll become the novelty kid again, unless you move him to a school with a large international cohort, which means private.

I was coming on to ask what others have, is private an option as you have access to lots of high quality schools in Dulwich. Your son absolutely should not be subjected to violence. Fingers crossed you find a decent alternative school.

I'm sorry to hear that OP. I think that if STAC is as monocultural as you indicate there might be other schools with a more mixed intake where he wouldn't stand out so much. Good luck with either finding a better fitting school or him finding his place in his current one.

However, I think you should report your OP and get this thread removed in its entirety. As the only white American boy in year 10 of a named school, he's completely identifiable, name or no name, and I think it might prejudice him.

Have a look at schools that have abysmal OFSTED reports but have new headteachers. Ds went to a primary after we had pulled him out of an outstanding school because they were not helping him with his dyslexia and he was being bullied because of it and nothing was being done about it. We found a school that was in special measures but had a new head teacher who was given extra powers and extra money to bring the school up to scratch When we looked round it, the school felt just so friendly. Ds was so up set when he had to leave at the end of year 6.

We then made the mistake of going to another outstanding secondary where he lasted about 6 weeks before we pulled him out.

Ds is now home edded and does Interhigh which he loves and for him not to have to write with a pen and paper is the best thing he could do as he has we think dysgraphia.

Someone I know had to move back to Southwark suddenly from rural Englsnd. Similar problems. However her son coped:

1. by being good at fooball, which always helps with integration.
2. Hanging out with kids who were fully engaged in education. This was a very mixed group, and obviously good for her son. She ended up feeling more sorry for some of the boys belonging to the majority racial group, who would have been under greater peer pressure to disengage.

I wonder what happened in the end?