Year 7s and mobiles

[LilyTucker]

Just read the Sarah Vine thing re year 7s(quite a useful read) but in a quandary re phones.I'm aware the following will sound a bit pfbish but we are new to phones and I don't have one.

My twins are starting at a secondary school in a city an hour away by bus so we have just given them phones. One has got phone obsessed. He would be tech obsessed if left to his own devices as he is a keen coder.We're quite strict re screen time in order to manage it which has always worked but now he is in charge of a phone which he does actually need.

The school they're going to is uber strict re phones ie they are confiscated if there is a mere siting of any boy on one or it out of their bags. I noticed last year before purchase that kids seem to walk down the road on them after they get off the bus, even attempting to cross the road texting.< dangerous>

Soooo I just told the boys the ban was to continue until they were back in the house and then they could have them for an hour so they can catch up with old friends,arrange meet ups etc. They are allowed to take them out to the park so they can call me if needs be re extra time,injury etc.SV does the opposite ie removes them the minute they come back in the house.

Not sure the best policy. What I don't want is dtwin 2 in sat on a phone for an hour before and after school and crossing roads without due care and attention.

How do other people manage phones at this age as they're still quite young imvho. Also re Snapchat and Instagram do I really need to be on their friends list? I swoop every so often and they know it will go if I'm prevented from doing so. Being privy to 11 year old convos on a loop though sounds as much fun as watching paint dry. Is the swoop policy ok?Tbh with the boys niether Snapchat and Instagram seem as drama filled as it is with dd 10.

Same age DS. Haven't read SV.

Not bringing phone to school - at least not for now, but school at walking distance.

Takes phone to parks sometimes.

Uses Whatsapp to talk to friends and plays games but no Instagram or Snapchat or facebook. Probably uses it about 1-2 hours non-school days. We'll see how it goes this term. Phone stays downstairs overnight and no playing after dinner.

I know the pin but haven't looked for a while.

One they get to year 7 I would pick my battles carefully. If you cannot actually be with them.when your "rules" are in place then don't bother with rules. Just install sensible choices into them - don't cross roads texting or calling etc etc

I think in a sense if the school is that strict you can afford to be laid back and just a careless 'serves you right, kiddo!' if it's confiscated

There's a couple of good videos (well not good but you know what I mean - harrowing) depicting children being run over and killed through texting when crossing the road. Could you watch some with him?

Good luck!

We have addressed this by only paying for texts and calls until they are 13. So in Y7 they have access to WiFi when at home (or at a friend's house if they ask for the password) but they can't access the internet when out and about. Most of their friends communicate on Whatsapp or similar, so group chats are restricted to home.

With instagram, I have access to the younger three children's accounts from my phone (using 6Tag) so can easily check them without having to log in and log out each time. My 11 year olds mostly post photos of crafts they've made (DD) or inane memes (DS3).

As I have two about to start Y7, I'd like to read the Sarah Vine thing. Please could you link, or post title of article? Thanks.

As a teacher in a secondary school I wish some parents had more oversight of phone use.

Please drill into them that they shouldn't add friends/followers/whatever on social media who they don't know in real life. Privacy settings need to be locked down so not viewable by the public. I've had 12 year old girls proudly tell me they have over a thousand people following their photos on Instagram. They see it like celebrity but it's grim.
They also need to be warned about cyber bullying, never say anything you don't want your mum reading. If anything upsets them, to screenshot and tell you.
Do not let them have their phones in their bedrooms at night. That goes for older teenagers too. They come to school shattered.
Also, sexting. Don't be pressured into anything and don't send any photos you wouldn't want to see plastered on lampposts.

Just to add to noblegiraffe's post

Don't think that because you have boys that they won't be pressured in to sexting and that because of their age they are safe from the laws surrounding sexting (i.e. distribution or having these pictures on their phones.)

Yes, I have heard of boys having their penis pics spread by ex girlfriends as well as girls' pics being passed around. It's frighteningly common (I teach in a 'nice' school as well).

The CEOP (child exploitation and online protection) website has lots of resources for parents and children, including videos and advice on what to do if something happens.

www.thinkuknow.co.uk

Another thing: no one has to be who they claim to be on the internet and there are a lot of paedophiles out there pretending to be children. They should never interact with strangers, and never give out personal details like which school they are at (or where they live and what their uniform looks like as that will be enough).

And don't think that Y7 is too young for this.

Ooh not sure about the right answer really. My 11 year old is getting a phone today. Her school is 2.5 miles away and I want her to be able to contact me. It's an iPhone 4 as its spare since I upgraded mine!
She's got a kindle fire which has similar things like Instagram etc. she's only allowed that for an hour a day (I'm so strict)!
She won't be allowed her iPhone at bedtime but not sure how much to restrict so following this post!

DD starting secondary school on Thursday with a basic Nokia on PAYG. I'm sure the nagging for a Smartphone will start soon but she seems happy enough at the moment.

Don't know who Sarah Vine is either, but have had 3 dc go thru Yr7.
Like another poster, mine are on PAYG (paid for by themselves once it runs out) so only use internet when in reach of wi-fi. It means phone is less attractive to them on the journey home.

However, I think you have to give them advice and let them find their own way to some extent once they are in secondary school.

Sarah Vine = Mrs Michael Gove!

Re phones - if the genie is out of the bottle, then educate how you expect the phone to be used and not used. 2 hours a day school travel time is huge so I expect the phones will get lots of use!

Thanks Milly - I have to say that does NOT endear her to me.......

Is there a big peer pressure to have a phone ? our dd doesn't have one ( nor smart nor cheap one ) and preferred to get a laptop for her birthday but I slightly worry that she will be picked on for not having a phone and don't want her to ask for it only for that reason .

Can't you just give him a basic £10 phone to take to school? One so cheap, that you won't mind if he loses it or it gets broken and so clunky to use that he only uses it when he has to?

Then he can play with the smartphone for an hour when he gets home.

I saw the Sarah Vine article and it made me feel really sorry for her daughter for 2 reasons:-

1. Michael Gove is her dad and teachers seem to think of Michael Gove like he's Guy Fawkes. So, it must be the elephant in the room every time a teacher speaks to her.

1. Her mum has just talked about how she parents her in the Daily Mail. How embarrassing is that if you are just about to go into your teens?

Sarah Vine is a journalist who is making a name for herself by being outspoken. Definitely not the normal "Mum next door". It has also been reported widely where the Gove DD goes to school. Plenty of journalists write about their children but this child has a lot to put up with and is hardly anonymous! I bet the teachers look forward to parents' evening!

Millymollymama

It would make an interesting parents evening.
A dad at war with teachers and a mother that would go straight to print if she didn't like what you say.

What are the chances that one of the SLT sit in on that parent's evening? And that none of the teachers need a reminder which child "Beatrice" is and then fail to have an opinion on how she is doing?

Poor child!