Move for 6th form.. Or not?

[Franklyexhausted]

DS has been a boarder at a school that only offers the IB in the 6th form. Over the last couple of years it has become clear that a) he is not an all-rounder, b) he is pretty rubbish at self-organisation / discipline, c) although passionate about some subjects, if he's not interested / not good at something, he doesn't put in any effort. Given the above, we were concerned that although the school gets excellent results for IB, he would do better with A levels. DS was however adamant that he wanted to do IB which he felt (perhaps rightly) would give him the edge over an A level candidate for University entrance, and was desperate to stay at the school where he has lots of friends and some very supportive teachers. We weren't convinced that this was right for him, and concerned at a continuing lack of effort we reached a deal with him that he could stay at the school (which is of course expensive) if he achieved certain grades at GCSE. These were tough grades but we felt fair and achievable and were in fact slightly less than the target grades the school had set. We felt that if he reached these grades it would demonstrate both capability to study the breadth of subjects necessary for the IB, but also his commitment to going to the school. DS agreed to this, but frankly didn't put in enough work soon enough and did not get the grades agreed. He is gutted, and since results day has been resentful, angry and depressed that we are not letting him go back to his school. He has a place at a very highly regarded local school to do A levels, but he is struggling to come to terms with the idea of leaving his school, his friends and his dreams about 6th form to start all over again at a new school where he knows no-one.
Should we cave in and shell out for 2 more years at his present school and hope his attitude to those subjects he doesn't like but will have to take improves (the school think he could achieve around 36 at IB), or should we stick to the deal and go with A levels in the subjects he is very good at and should achieve A grades, but which would mean changing school?

Blimey, I'd be frankly exhausted too with a dilemma like that.

Two of my DC did the IB and two did A'levels and the IB certainly is a hell of a lot of work. Fitting in CASS (?) can be onerous. However, A'levels aren't exactly a walk in the park either. I think it's easier to do well in A levels rather than the IB so I'd probably favour changing his school.

Uni's may look favourably on the IB but then they ask for very high grades.

They don't seem to have a uniform approach in what IB score they want.

Is the local school a selective school?

Sounds like my brother from a good few years ago. Giving him another chance just led to him messing around for another year.

How far off was your DS from the grades that he wanted? Unless it was a very near miss, I personally am inclined to think that some tough love is required - he didn't keep his side of the bargain, and you have got a decent alternative lined up. He could keep in touch with his old friends if he made the effort.

Not too far off - got the grades in the subjects he likes and is good at; not in those he didn't. We said he needed an A in a language and a B in maths (both of which he will have to do for IB), but he got a B and a C. He accepts he 'threw away' the A grade for a language because he didn't prepare sufficiently, but blames 'Hannah's sweets' etc for the Maths

Yes, local school is selective.

Hello - I'm sitting here with two 17 year olds who have just done their Year 12/AS levels.

One of them changed schools at sixth form - but she went to another private school and the change was of her own accord, so she hit the ground running with a positive attitude.

We're all in agreement that you should keep DS at his current school. DD said "B and a C? That's still quite good."

The problem that you are very likely to face is that DS goes to his new school with a very angry attitude and refuses to do any work whatsoever. At best, he will be adjusting to learning his way around, finding out where the loos are and regaining a positive work ethos.

Sorry. That's probably what you didn't want to hear.

Keep him into sixth form but demand weekly updates from his tutor, attend parents evening, text him regularly and really go through his mock results with a fine tooth comb. Make him read round the subjects - and good luck.

I have a DD who is doing A levels and a DS who will be doing IB. IB is generally considered better, particularly in the increasingly globalisation of the workforce.

SO you think getting a B for English Language and a C for Maths makes him A grade material at A level? I doubt it. A levels are not easy despite what you may have been told and IB is not necessarily better either: it suits very bright all rounders. However I agree your child is not one of those. He won't be shining at essay subjects or Maths ones. This could make the IB very tough and presumably very difficult to get a high grade in maths.

Also the school was wrong regarding his results at GCSE so they may well be wrong with an IB prediction of 36 too. Can't see 36 myself with these results unless he has a string of A/A*s in everything else. The big advantage of A levels is doing less subjects and being able to target what subjects you like and are good at, but they are still very challenging for many students.

If changing schools is going to make him sullen, angry and resentful, I can't see the A levels going well, can you? It seems rather sad that you are punishing him (as he will see it) because of his GCSE grades. I think I would try and have a happier child by letting him stay. You seem to have chosen a private school based on possible results for your child without taking the personality of the child into account. You then tell him you resent chucking more money away on him and he has to leave all his friends behind because he has failed to meet your expectations. Perhaps your expectations were over-inflated? Also, if you cannot afford another 2 years, you need to have a conversation with him about this.

No Milly, he didn't get a B for English language, he got an A, as he did for all the other essay subjects that he would do for A level or for his IB highers. He got B for his first foreign language and a C for maths, both of which he would have to do at standard level for IB but which (obviously) he wouldn't do for A levels. Hence part of the dilemma - A levels in subjects in which he got A, or IB which has to include a foreign language and maths in which he got a B and a C respectively. The school, incidentally were almost spot on with what they predicted he would get, it was the target grades (ie what they thought he was capable of if he showed some commitment) and which we stipulated in the subjects that would comprise the IB as a condition for staying on which he didn't achieve in those subjects that he is not interested in.
I know he sees moving schools as a punishment, but it isn't, neither is it about me resenting the cost; it is about whether he has the right abilities / temperament for IB, and whether given that he failed to put in the work and commitment required to get the grades which everyone (including him) thought he was capable of, I should be funding a further 2 years. Like many families we work extremely hard and make sacrifices to be able to pay school fees and yes of course therefore we expected him to put in some hard graft. I know he finds some subjects harder than others, but we expected him to make a real effort to show that he was committed to the school - and he didn't really do so.
But of course I love my child and want him to be happy.
Here then is the dilemma: A - stick with what was agreed, move schools and take A levels in the subjects which he loves (and in which he got A*) at GCSE, but run the risk that he will be unhappy and resentful at least in the short term, and therefore may not do well; or B - forget the agreement, let him stay where he is happy and with his friends and hope he improves his attitude / work ethic but run the risk that he will be unhappy and frustrated having to continue studying his worst subjects, with an uncertain academic outcome.

Franklyexhausted what about considering maths studies and a MFL ab initio for his IB. Academically he could cope with that and it would be a fresh start.
I think despite the case for tough love after your deal I don't see how he would not waste a good part of Y12 feeling punished and resentful and therefore underperform at his A levels. Tell him this will be reviewed every term and if needs be he will have to move and repeat the year.

Ds has just done his IB and yes it is a lot of work... However if he did a language ab initio and maths studies at standard level that would help make decent grades in those subjects more achievable

The biggest problem with IB is the sheer volume of work to get through plus all the CAS stuff too, but if you give him a reprieve do you think he would mend his ways at all?

Oops cross posted with summerends