Giving a talk to State 6th Formers Next Month on Success

[motiv8ionalguru]

Fellow Mumsnetters,

I am to be the keynote speaker at South London state 6th form federation school next month. My speech, which will take approximately 45 minutes - 1 hour, will focus on high state school achievers in their 30's. The idea being that the students can visualise where they might be in 10 years from now. This institution has an unenviable reputation for drugs and crime, poor results and low aspiration. My address will (hopefully) illustrate what is possible 10 years from now. I am still penning the draft, though I have come up with the following individuals (from South London) who have achieved a lot in the 10 or so years since leaving their respective state schools. Could you help me identify any other pupils?

Euan Blair (London Oratory - now a high-flyer in the world of banking)
Paul Sackey (John Fisher School - England and Stade Francais rugby player)
Will Seaward (John Fisher - comedian and actor performing at Edin. Fringe)
Hayley Attwell (London Oratory - actress)
Johnny Lee Miller (Tiffin - actor)
Safety Fire (London Oratory - a band)
Oritse (London Oratory - JLS a rap group)
Rafe Spall (Haberdashery School - actor and son of Tim Spall)

Kind regards,

D.

Your problem is, and they will spot this in a few minutes, that you are not "genuine".
You haven't gone to such a school. Your children haven't gone to such a school. And you are not even talking about people you employ who have gone to such a school.

I would start by looking for realism. I'm assuming you are an employer? Then go and find out which of your employees have gone to such a school, listen to their stories and their advice. Use that in your speech.
If not then see if you can get some of your employees (younger ones probably) involved in mentoring interested young people at the school. Then talk to them about this new opportunity, and ask them what they would want from such a scheme.

Or to be frank, get someone else to do the talk.

Michelle Obama is a great person for such young people, because she has authenticity (much more than her Husband in such areas).

As someone who went to a 'lively' South London state school it is absolutely true that exams and university are not enough of you really want to get on.

Young people need to be told the truth.
You need presentation skills, you need work on being confident and articulate, you need to be confident in putting forward your ideas.

At state school, bright pupils get used to putting their heads down and working stuff out for themselves. They get used to questioning themselves all the time. You tend to think that other people have better answers than you.

There's a great TED talk on this and what it comes down to is;

'fake it 'til you make it.'
That's what I would be telling them.

This is the issue - are any children from the non selective/non posh state schools getting into good jobs by their 30s? Are they founding businesses? I think it's hard to find people from any sector at all except acting and sport who by such a young age as 30s are doing well.

I think you are mistaken - I know of one consultant paediatrician in her mid 30s. My builder was only 30 ish and is doing very well for himself, plus another woman of the same age who is running her own successful nail and beauty salon. All from 'bog standard' comprehensives. Although the 2nd and 3rd perhaps aren't the sort of successes the OP is looking for, but are exactly the sort of people who could be used as good role models for the OP's talk.

The one thing all three have in common is a willingness to work hard, and I mean hard.

Yes I have a friend who was a consultant paediatrician by mid thirties and she went to a worse school than me!

I have peers who are high flyers for large businesses or are in politics, a writer...but also head teachers, senior police officers, academics.

There are lots around - it just requires a bit of work to find them. But why not ask these people to give a series of short talks? Why not get them to tell the school kids how they did it, the hurdles and the hoops and most importantly the setbacks and how they overcame them.

Would be much more effective, and probably cheaper, for the school than what the OP has planned.

All OP's planned talk is going to do is confirm that success is not for the likes of them.

I still can't work out if this is a wind-up or not.

But agree with others - DO NOT use the examples you have in your op. Apart from anything else, success in the entertainment business is down to luck more than talent and you shouldn't be reinforcing the cult of celebrity among young people.

You can talk about my best friend and her husband. Both from S London state schools, both went to Cambridge, both now successful lawyers. Or my dh - from one of the toughest areas in Glasgow, and with a 25 year career in the City. Or my dad, who left school at 15, trained as a joiner and ultimately set up his own business employing over 300 people.

Ubik and Lavolcan are absolutely right. The ONLY lesson you should be teaching them is this: success is there for the taking but you must work hard to achieve it.

The OPs probably fictional proposal would be like going into a room full of morbidly obese people and trying to inspire them by telling them about ultra marathoners.

How much time did you spend researching your list of names op? I've just spent an interesting 20 minutes...

lewesmum is correct - Will Seaward and Paul Sackey both attended John Fisher School during its "selective period". Will Seaward's parents are indeed barristers. Paul Sackey's cousin was murdered in London a few years ago, but Paul's own father was ....wait for it...a bank manager (and not a Ghanaian hospital porter one might imagine). Sackey says education mattered to his father and he was sent to a very academic, rugby playing school because his father considered rugby to be more academic than football. Mr Sackey senior obviously passed the John Fisher parent interview with flying colours.

Johnny Lee Miller's parents were both theatre actors and his grandfather,
Bernard Lee, played M in the first 11 Bond movies - hardly surprising he became an actor then. Likewise, Rafe Spall. In an interview, Rafe Spall said, "Who wouldn't want to see Timothy Spall's son coming to an audition? "It opens doors. Children of famous actors who profess anything else are naïve."

Euan Blair is a ridiculous example for obvious reasons. Hayley Atwell's mother is a motivational speaker - any connection? Oritse Williams went to Cardinal Vaughn School (similar to, but not the London Oratory); he started playing the trumpet in junior school. I couldn't be bothered to research Safety Fire.

Presumably, the sixth form you describe has a large proportion of students from Black African or Caribbean heritage, therefore you don't want a long list of successful white celebrities. In any case, many of the suggestions made have a similar background as your original list, or at least don't identify with your audience: Stella McCartney, celebrity father, Ed Miliband, son of a Politics Professor, JK Rowling, born in a Cotswold village, Keira Knightley, actor's daughter who had years of costly, private tuition for dyslexia, Jo (Josephine) Brand, daughter of a structural engineer and grammar school educated. Even Daniel Craig attended a well known grammar school at sixth form for a brief while, Bradley Wiggin's estranged father was a professional cyclist himself and Kate Moss was discovered at JFK Airport returning from a family holiday, not walking down Croydon High Street.

Oh well, perhaps motivational speaking is all hot air and lies anyway.

An hour is far too long ...

In the last 5 minutes I've just looked up two, youngish, black/mixed race politicians:
Chuka Umunna - mother a solicitor and grandfather a QC at the Nuremberg Trials.

Thought I'd hit the jackpot with David Lammy - he grew up next to the Broadwater Farm Estate in Tottenham and his father walked out when he was 12. Luckily for Lammy though, he won a choral scholarship at age 10 to The King's (Cathedral) School in Peterborough and so he was taken out of the type of school environment the op is giving her/his speech to.

Chris Eubank
Benjamin Zephaniah
Floella Benjamin
Derek Griffiths

None of those are still in their thirties Talkin. The youngest one is 49, and the oldest 69.

True,
because social mobility has ground to a shuddering halt in the UK because of the impact of inherited jobs and internships.
I'm old.
Younger people may be able to think of younger people ....

That's just it Talkin and I wouldn't mind betting that it's got more difficult now than even 15-20 years ago.

Yes, but even children from my children's schools at 30 or in their 30s tend not to be successful role models in the famous sense. It is just too young in anything except sport/music etc to have made your way yet.

Talkin we still have social mobility in this country, usually downwards.

To be honest having come from somewhere like that, I would say for most students examples who are just great local business men and women, is as inspirational. People who actually have gone to University having grown up locally. And other people who are making a difference in the local community.

The most inspirational talk my DD had was the twin brother of the booked speaker, she was ill so he stepped in. He hadn't got an especially glittering CV, but he spoke honestly and from the heart about grabbing chances and following your dreams. Two years on he's the only speaker my DD remembers. (Apart from the police warnings.)

What rot

Kids don't appreciate being patronised.

Stupid sayings like "the world is your oyster" mean nothing in the real world. Others have covered the literal meaning...

If you are hoping to become a big shot, OP, I'd rethink this speech..

I'm giving a talk to the boys of Eton next week. I'm going to tell them they can aspire to write amazing post-dubstep if they just visualise growing up in poverty on a council estate in Croydon.

Wow! This is a troll, no? I hope it is.

I still think starting by holding out the condom and saying if you don't have a baby for 10 years and work hard etc then XYZ is likely to be your life and life choices. That would get them interested.

Janet
How does producing children impact on the boys' life choices?

Good point about the boys - fuck em and leave em having given the girl a meal ticket on benefits for the next years I suppose.