Q for private school parents: Do you expect to be consulted about big changes to the school?

[Pebbles574]

I'm an old regular, but have NC for this, as a lot of friends and teachers at my DCs school would probably recognise me on here.

I'm just interested to know whether how I feel is normal, or if I just have unrealistic expectations?

Here's the context:
We had a new Head a couple of years back. He's meant to be one of the countries 'Education leaders' - well connected to Dept of Education, Exam boards yada yada yada etc
Anyway, in a short space of time he has come in and changed a number of things, many of which are quite controversial, so e.g.

• has put in a 3 year GCSE course (so options are made at the end of Year 8)
• has made Triple Science as good as compulsory
• has changed holiday times, so that summer holiday is longer/ starts sooner.
• has moved internal exams until the 3rd week after May half term, so there is only about 2-3 weeks post exams before the end of term.

These changes have all had a HUGE impact on some aspects of the school, notably all the Drama, Music, Art and extra-curricular activities which used to happen in the second half of the summer term.

There has been NO consultation with parents as far as I can see (I certainly wasn't consulted) and it all just seems to have been steam-rollered in. I know that many of the staff (especially arts/music/drama) are deeply unhappy about the changes, but don't feel it is in their power to do anything.

I am so unbelievably angry about it all, bit I daren't do anything until i calm down! We chose the school on the basis of its strength in the arts, and now it all seems to be being undermined.

Shouldn't parents be consulted first about such changes? Shouldn't there be some discussion?
The Head is very unapproachable and seems to have an 'answer' for everything.
His background prior to this was comprehensive/ state grammar, so I wonder if he doesn't understand the slightly different nature of the relationship with parents in an independent school?

Milly I recognise your description of "pet parents" from prep school we had a quite a few of those but in my experience it wasnt money that made you a pet parent.
But I personally don't recognise it at senior school I'll watch other people comments with interest, We're never invited to special events (thank God I can't think of anything worse) I'm not even sure we have any, we certainly don't have "connections", I always sit in the back row of speech day so that I can make a hasty exit, (we don't have speech day at senior but it was definitely the back row at prep), we also thankfully don't even have to endure a nine lessons and carols service at senior, I personally don't believe anyone has perfect lives (how tedious that would be) and I haven't the faintest idea who are in the 6th form leadership team although I do know that only 1-2 wanted the head of house job and that frequently those offered it turn it down as it's not seen as a privilege but a pain in the neck.

I'm not bring unkind Milly but do you not think that you coming across as slightly paranoid? Who wants any of this stuff?
I just want my DS to receive a good intellectually stimulating broad education, to have fun, make friends and to be looked after whilst he's actually at school by decent genuine caring people people I would like then to be courteous to me and I will extend the same courtesy to them. But I don't need any special relationship with Head, the less school social functions I have to attend the better and I have absolutely no desire to have influence over it or be asked my opinion about fairly trivial changes.
They're teachers I hope experts in education, I'm not a teachers so it's not my area of expertise I let them get on with it.
Finally re comment about exams being moved I think this is standard stuff, this is when DS's had exams at prep and sounds about when DS2 had exams in yr 9 and 10 (others who know more than me might say differently) I can't see the problem with it.

You are undoubtedly right ! Maybe I'm paranoid .....???.. !!!! I'm glad you smiled Ingrid.

However if pupils perceive unfairness they don't like it. The children did notice. Maybe it's a girl thing . It is not sinister . It's just not inclusive.

Milly - ha - I also recognise your description of 'pet' parents!
A few I can think of, off the top of my head, in our school would be:

• the local property developer who is in cahoots with the borough council planning department and helped steer a new school building development safely through...
• a local businessman who made one-off gift of about £20K to the alumni fund (and then was p*ssed off when he discovered it had (probably) been spent flying 3 members of the senior team out to Singapore and hosting an event there for about half a dozen Old Boys )

As you say, if you're not deemed important or useful enough you end up making the tea at events, or sorting through smelly kit for the secondhand uniform sale !

I think our Head gets his parent feedback from the sports field on a Saturday morning. That's one of the reasons the Arts never get a look in!

The rumour is that the reason exams were moved to after half term was because a group of three families who always went to their villas together in the Algarve in May Half Term complained when exams were the week immediately after the holiday.

"If you're not deemed important or useful you end up making tea at events or sorting through second hand kit for the second hand uniform sale"
Pebbles I think you're at the wrong school I'm not important or useful but I've never been asked to make tea or sort through smelly uniform. Or as an alternative to changing school is it not worth the 20k not to have to this!

HaHa HappyGardening - It's only if you volunteer for PTA type things, so my own fault really!

pebbles about 13 years ago I learnt a useful lesson:
Hideous mum chair of PTA says "I was wondering if you'd like to man the teddy bear stall at the school fete?"
Me: frown, slight hesitation "No I wouldn't".
The world didn't come to an end, my DS wasn't expelled and best of all I was never asked again the whole time DS was at this particular school.
On the rare occasion I've been asked at other schools I now dont even frown or hesitate. I'm never asked a second time.

Its an interesting subject. Prep was fine under one head. Some lovely active and inclusive parents who invited everyone (without pressure) to help create a school garden etc. The next head seemed to feel more at ease with richer parents and had some clear favourites (not us or indeed our children!) He did not last too long and I hear things are now back to a culture of happy staffroom and happy contributing parents.

DS' school handled a diverse and sometimes very affluent parent body well. Mainly by seeming to have no favourites, indeed not allowing anyparents to wield much influence with the school at all. DDs school appeared to fall into a trap of seeing parents as a source potential donations, and focussing on American style fundraising efforts. So pet parents would write to others in the class asking them to contribute, essentially highlighting they were rich enough to be invited onto the fund-raising committee. The worst was a horrifically expensive fund raising dinner, which was organised by a group of seemingly very affluent Chelsea wives and with a limited invite list. Trouble is they did not sell enough seats so two weeks before the event all parents were invited. Some who I knew might have gone, except it was so very obvious that we were not good enough first time round. (One lovely mother who did a huge amount for the school was very upset, as she should have been.) The trouble was that this same group of parents then seemed to have the Head's ear. Perhaps not true but some slightly odd decisions were then ascribed to this influence.

The fundraising thing means that richer parents at another similar school are invited to dinner with the Head (it was assumed to be done by looking at postcode, perhaps even by viewing Google Earth....maybe the school then look at Zoopla - I wonder what the qualifing house value is?!) when their girls start in Yr 7. Unfortunately some mothers are crass enough to see this as some sort of social honour and could be heard boasting that they were rich enough to be invited. We would have failed. I dont think I would have enjoyed this obvious social apartheid so early in my DDs school career.

I hear from a teacher friend that it is not unknown for parents to expect big donations to buy something. But this is within a culture where even humble sports coaches can be given Christmas gifts valued at £1000 or more. Its tricky ground.

Needmoresleep - interesting, however thankfully our school's not really like that thankfully!

I don't mind helping a bit with the PTA - it's where I catch up with a few folk I wouldn't see otherwise.

When I started this thread it was more to discuss whether parents should have an input into some big decisions which can impact all children at the school.
It seems that most people seem to think that they shouldn't and Heads should be pretty much given carte blanche to do what they want!

I don't know about private schools, but speaking as the governor at a state school, I'd say that the problem with seeking parent feedback is that you'll receive so many different responses. Then if you decide to go ahead with the change, you end up annoying people who feel that their feedback was ignored. To be honest it's simpler just to do it and focus on communicating the change as positively as possible!

As they say you can please some of the people some of the time but never all of the people all of the time!
In this day and age any significant changes in approach are likely to be towards trying to improve exam results/university destinations and for the vast majority save money. You just have to bear that in mind when you consider a school.