If your kids have long secondary school days (travel), how do you fit everything in in the evenings (and enough sleep!)?

[Finniginnigan]

It'll be all change for DS this coming September. He'll go from being able to walk to the village primary in five minutes, to commuting to a grammar school in a city about 15 miles away.

He'll need to leave the house by 7.30am at the latest, and won't be home until nearly 5pm (a longer day than my work day!).

He's keen, and I'm happy to be giving this opportunity a go, but I do worry about how much the commute and increased homework load will encroach into much-needed sleeping and chilling time.

DS is quite autonomous and likes time to do his own thing - in fact needs it, I'd say. He's also very developed for his age (wearing age 15 clothes!) and we've already hit the adolescent late-to-sleep thing - if he goes to bed too early, he physically can't fall asleep. If he nods before 10pm, that's a good night.

I know a lot of kids have lengthy commutes to secondary school these days, and daily homework - so if yours do, how do their evenings go? How do they get all their homework done and fit in clubs, catching up with friends, eating with family, doing chores, watching TV, gaming - and enough sleep?!

I'm getting all jittery about the leisurely, well-rested days of primary becoming a thing of the past.

Grateful for any tips and words of encouragement.

They just adjust, tbh.
they are knackered for the first term and then it becomes normal.
Mine leave at 7.30 - although they do get in a bit earlier than he does unless they stay to an afterschool activity, they still manage to do all their Scouts / Explorers, music lessons, sports and fit in homework, and relaxing time. The things they attend tend to start starting a bit later in the evening as they get older too - be that cubs/scouts or swimming lessons or whatever

Thanks for posting, BackforGood. I have heard the first term is exhausting. At least it might mean DS will naturally be able to nod off earlier?!

Do your DCs get enough sleep?

I just don't want feeling tired and stressed to become the new norm for DS. Life's pretty sweet at the moment - balanced, relaxed. I feel like the day will need an extra few hours in it!

You come to value your weekends a bit more :) DD is in Y7 and has the same sleep patterns as your DS. She is still tired a lot of the time but she still manages to do her after-school club (only one a week though). We're still not very good at getting homework done so we tend to leave it for a few days and then have a big catch-up.

dd2 (13) has never slept much so probably isn't a good benchmark, tbh.

dd1 (16) is pretty talented at storing up sleep - she'll sleep through the day on holidays and any Saturday she's not committed to anything, but she doesn't go to bed early enough, on enough nights - she could though, she's just a bit too much like me. She doesn't take any rousing in the mornings though - just open her door and tell her it's morning and she's up and running.

ds leaves home at 7 am and returns at 5 10 pm the first term he was exhausted now he is back to how he was (year 8 now) he has days where he goes to sleep earlier and other days where he stays up later. mostly he hits bed between 9-10

It's hard, in fact it's very hard.

Dd leaves home at 7.30 am & gets back at 7.30pm (7.45pm if traffic is bad) she also has Saturday morning school.

She does what homework she can in the 15-20 mins before registration & on the journey home but mostly saves it up until the weekend.

She had to give up piano due to not having time to practice. However what used to be her extra curricular activities (dance & drama) are now curricular she does it all at school (sat mornings are all dance)

She goes to bed between 9.15-9.30 because of the early get ups. When she first started she ate once she got home at 7.30 but now mostly eats at school except on the odd occasion like "takeaway night"

Mine leaves home 7.25 back 4.50. Chills to 5.30 homework usually an hour or so until 6.30. Dinner ready to serve when he's finished. Sit down to eat as family. All finished by 7.15. Then his pc time, Skype calls to friends. Pc off at 9. Either bed or watches tv and bed by 10. Seems to work well not too tired. Occasional sports at school and only one out of school commitment which is 8-9 on a Wednesday. A no homework Friday rule so loves that.

That's interesting OP, I am itching for ds (same age ) to get to grammar school with its longer days and more homework. He is sooo bored and under employed at the moment. He does clubs 2 nights a week and saturday mornings. But even so he is up by 6:30(we don't leave till 8:15) if he comes straight back he is home by 4 (We try our best to discourage this) and doesn't go to sleep till nearly ten -that's a lot of hours to fill- no homework since says.I can't wait till he is out of the house 7-5 with some challenging homework to do.

Mine leaves at 7.30 too. She gets home between 5.30 and 6.30 depending on what study groups are on, whether she's working at night or has an activity. She's 16 and in sixth form though and its got very intense!! Did her last exam today and has some SATS to do after half term.

Going to high school is when they have to learn to manage their time and their own stuff. There's no way I was going to be responsible for making her do all the homework or when it was due back, what kit she needed and when. They soon learn to take responsibility for themselves and learn that if they want time to do things then they need to use their time wisely.

Mine assures me that she does most of her homework at lunchtime at school. I certainly rarely see her do any!

Homework at lunch time normally means its copied off some-one.

minimise weekend activities, earlier bedtimes and wait for holidays

Depends on the child, I think. DS (year 7) also leaves at 7.30 for a bus journey to next town and returns at 5 if he's has no after school activities, but 3 or 4 days a week returns at 7 due to after school clubs (mostly sport). He has not been able to carry on with activities outside school as he is not back in time. He has a snack or dinner depending on what other activities the rest of the family is doing and gets on with homework until it's done. The thing that has suffered is music practice, which now rarely happens except on nights he's home early. He goes to bed about 10 after an hour or so of down time. He was shattered for the first two weeks but has been fine since then. Fortunately he's never needed much sleep, although he's still very young physically. No chores or seeing friends except at weekends. We rarely all sit down to dinner together except at weekends but that's as much due to everyone else's routines. DD (year 5) needs more sleep and I don't think could cope with the same routine.