What would you have done differently in primary?

[NynaevesSister]

Now that your kids are in secondary, looking back to the primary years is there anything you would have done differently? Is there anything that you didn't grasp the importance of ath the time? And now they are teenagers it is too late?

I am thinking the later years of primary, around Year 5 and 6.

Nyna thanks for this thread, it's great to read about the things that parents of older children have to say. Especially the messages about not worrying too much!

One of the best things my husband taught our DS was how to use humour to deflect bullying - it worked and the bully moved on (presumably to someone else sadly). Just wish we'd sorted it sooner - the school were pretty rubbish about dealing with it. They said they were but in reality I think they just hoped it would all go away. When we/my husband taught DS how to deal with it himself that was far more effective.

So what I would do differently is be sceptical about how bullying is dealt with by the school.

I would have put more effort into making sure DS was actually forming his letters correctly as he learned to write, and not trusted the school to do that. Writing has been such a chore for him throughout school, and just cracking the basics earlier on would have helped such a lot.

I would also have got them confident at using email and opening and saving attachments and reattaching them to emails before the start of secondary, as my DD's school in particular expected them to be able to do that, and she couldn't.

Also if I'd had the option they'd have skipped French lessons as they learnt very little and had it all repeated anyway at secondary school (as others in their classes hadn't done French at all)

By Year 5, no, nothing. Earlier, I would have checked pencil grips and helped dd1 change hers - other than that, with hindsight, I would have simply trusted the school and my children more and relaxed and enjoyed.

But I guess that depends on the school, too.

Thank you all so much. This had really helped a lot.

Two messages I am really getting - help them with their writing (and learn to touch type) and social issues specifically getting a range of friends outside of their class and tackling bullying problems early on.

I'm glad I stumbled on this thread, I have DCs in years 4 and 6 with dyslexia and dyspraxia/AS, I'm pretty "involved" with school and interventions but a few things I had not thought of, email for example, they've never needed to use it.

I agree with letting them get on and do their own homework and organise themselves....they need to learn to do it themselves. (Actually a friend with a much older DC told me this -you can't sit the exams for them!)
The other thing - DD1 at 14 just diagnosed with ADHD.
In Scotland -she was the youngest in her primary class -is the youngest bar one in her year group (approx 200) at secondary. I didn't appreciate how common it is to defer -so she was in a class with 20% of children a year or more older than her - one 15 months older.
(She has friend who deferred - had just turned 14 and she told DD to 'grow up -how old are you? 12? -to which 12 yo DD replied "er...yes"! )
Anyway a lot of the problems with concentration and organisation were put down to her being the youngest, a lack of maturity. I even told a teacher at parent's evening when she was 9 I suspected she had something like ADHD and she didn't agree or disagree...but said she is young!

I didn't push it - didn't want her 'labelled' and she was coping -not doing as well as she was capable of academically but holding her own. Last year things started really slipping, I mentioned it to a few teachers at parents' evening and most of them were 'ahhh - I can see that'. She now has a diagnosis. Only a few things have been put in place at school but they know and she has the support if she needs it. Not a magic wand but it helps. (We have just got medication to try shortly to see if it can help when she needs it - for eg exams). And I wish I'd done it sooner -at primary.
I think for her in life too - instead of feeling useless she knows there is a reason. I say she just isn't designed for the way we live now - humans aren't supposed to sit and write at a desk for hours on end. She (like most people with ADHD) can concentrate on things she is interested in - almost obsessively and her brain gives her a different take on things - both are strengths. She said it isn't an excuse it is an explanation. (Also makes me feel better - she always has been challenging - I'm not just a crap mother -have done (doing) everything wrong - she really was (is) hardwork!)