Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

severe exam stress

11 replies

DramaDaisy · 21/03/2015 09:22

My dd is in Yr11 and has had 4 days of severe vomiting and diarrhoea which I think is related to exam stress. Her school has introduced another set of mock exams due to start next week. Whilst I support the school in wanting the best for its pupils I have major concerns about the impact this is having on my child. She is now in a stress cycle as she is worried about what she has missed from school and this is causing her to be even more sick. She has woken up 5 or 6 times last night to throw up and visit the loo. Any ideas to help would be gratefully received.

OP posts:
Celeriacacaca · 21/03/2015 12:15

Have you taken her to Dr to rule out a tummy bug? Just after starting secondary school my son had similar symptoms that came and went over several weeks and I was worried it was stress about starting a new school. It wasn't, tests found it was a bug which cleared up completely by the first half term.

Dr would be my first step and I would also talk to her tutor about how she's feeling and ask for their advice in coping and keeping stress at bay. Hope she's okay soon.

blimppy · 21/03/2015 12:17

Hi. That does sound quite extreme. Has she been showing any other signs of stress or anxiety? It may be that she has a stomach bug, but that doesn't mean she isn't also stressed. I've no real pearls of wisdom, but didn't want your post to go unanswered. My DD1 is also in Yr 11 and suffering from anxiety, mostly social but there also exam stress issues. She is putting herself under great pressure to do very well. The only thing I've found thus far is to ensure that she has real "down time" when she does something she enjoys, while continually reassuring her that she is working well, she doesn't have to be perfect and we are proud of her. It might be worth talking to the school if you think things are getting on top of her. They may have a counsellor who could help, or at least ensure the teachers know to be watchful of her.

DramaDaisy · 21/03/2015 13:34

Thank you for your posts. My dd is dyslexic and has suffered similar bouts of illness although not quite so extreme in the past. I will be contacting the doctor on Monday but it takes 10 days to get an appointment at my practise ( I might insist on a home visit - that usually gets a quicker response) A school counsellor reccommended Rescue Remedy?!

OP posts:
eatyourveg · 21/03/2015 15:37

ds3 lost his eyebrows last summer a week before his GCSEs were due to start. GP put it all down to stress. He has exam concessions and we found that in some subjects where he was in a separate room that just seem to exacerbate his stress - keeping to a routine he was familiar with and cutting down on revision to have lots of down time when he did nothing but watch TV seemed to help

Bought rescue remedy for ds2 asd/mld - I know lots of people swear by it but ime its no different to a placebo but sometimes that's all that is needed so you should do whatever you think your dd needs.

What about lavender drops on her pillow, some muscle soak bubble bath, horlicks before bedtime and jarmie days? - all my boys really appreciate jarmie days. Anything which helps her relax and most importantly reassurance that you know she has put in the effort so the result is immaterial.

Mental wellbeing is more important than a string of A*s imo

Luna9 · 21/03/2015 17:55

Hope she gets better. Cranial Ostheopaty helps with anxiety; worth to try it.

Gracegrapecherry · 21/03/2015 20:25

Maybe it is just a stomach bug or an illness.

PastSellByDate · 22/03/2015 07:33

DramaDaisy:

Dyslexia if diagnosed should result in your DD getting extra time for reading and sometimes premission to prepare answers on computer with spell check (although I'm not clear if any of the GCSEs invovle extended essay answers).

If you haven't arranged or discussed such possibilities I'd talk to school SENCo.

Second, it's a mock - not the real thing. It's an opportunity for your DD to understand how she might do on the real thing. (with all the caveats that getting an A now doesn't guarantee an A on the real thing nor does getting a D now guarantee a D on the real thing).

A mock is quite simply a chance to take stock. Having worked hard all year - how are we doing now - a few months out from the real thing. She may find out she's on target for most subjects but a little weak in one - so can structure her time revising in the next two months such that the weak area gets a bit of extra care and attention.

Third - EXAM STRESS - can often be group hysteria. Everybody expects to be stressed, and girls go one endlessly about how stressful it is etc...., and they basically wind each other up. 'Oh my gosh - I just have to get an A or I'll die' kind of thing. Mum says if I don't get a C, I'm grounded'....etc.... girls seem particularly good at this. My 10 year old DD2 has just managed to compeltely freak herself out over a music exam because one of her friends said she was nervous about the exam and her teacher said she needed to pass to be eligible for an audition in a city orchestra. Then someone helpful pointed out Friday the 13th is bad luck. There was no need to get so wound up - it just made her tight when she played (which never helps) and made the day something of a miserable experience for her. She left in floods of tears.

Would the solution be to use the dyslexia as a 'mental' trick - these tests aren't designed for dyslexics. She's probably going to find bits of it tough going as a result. But if she adopts the attitude 'Oh well - I'll just have to do the best I can....' and treats it experimentally (won't it be interesting to see how I'm doing) - maybe that will take the stress out of the equation.

I'm not certain how your child is doing at school, but I suspect there will be subjects she is good at. I think the solution may be to remind her that in sixth form she can narrow down her course work to her strengths. So sit the GCSEs, try your best, but know that it isn't the end of the world if one or two don't go very well.

That may help to take the pressure off.

DramaDaisy · 22/03/2015 07:51

Thank you every for your posts. My daughter does get exam concessions and pushes herself rather too much. I managed to pry her away from the bathroom yesterday and we had an afternoon at the seaside. I also bought some Kalms - couldn't find Rescue Remedy - perhaps just a placebo but she did manage to get a good night and has hopefully broken the cycle she had got herself into. Thanks for all your suggestions, will definitely try some.

OP posts:
AliceMcGee · 22/03/2015 08:34

it sounds .more like à tummy bug to me

Instinctiveliving · 29/10/2019 14:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

StanleySteamer · 02/11/2019 20:10

A visit to a doc should confirm or refute the "tummy bug" question. If she seriously has a mental problem with exam stress then a doctor should be looking at prescribing her short term anti-anxiety medication, coupled with therapy to make her not dependent on the medication. But even medication takes a while to kick in and even if the doc prescribed them today they may not kick in before the exams.
Various of our children and grandchildren suffer from dyslexia, as does my wife, it is hereditary apparently so we do know where you are coming from. Best of luck.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread