11 year old walking to and from school bus

[splatsplat101]

Don't shoot me down if I come across as an overprotective mother! DS1, who turns 11 this year is starting a new school in September for which there is a school bus. It departs from roughly a 5-10 minute walk from our house at 7:30 am and returns around 5pm to the same point. Walking to the bus would require crossing one main road which has a proper pelican crossing. Would you (A) walk him to the bus stop and wait with him to get on the bus/wait to collect him on return (b) walk him to the bus stop and leave him to wait for the bus/wait to collect him on return or (c) let him get there and back himself? I have 2 smaller children including a 5 year old who goes to school much later so the selfish side of me wants to do option (c) but I am worried that this is irresponsible..... (ironically enough, I used to walk a mile to school each way every day from when I was around 8 years old but I suppose those days are long gone....)

Do a trial run (not on his first day of school) then leave him to it.

Errr c
I presume he is starting secondary school - he won't want his Mum waiting at the bus stop every night.
Check during the summer holidays that he is OK crossing the road by himself, otherwise let him get on with it.

Do a few dry runs walking with him, over the summer. Walk him to the crossing for a few days until you know he's responsible about using it (with you watching) and then let him get on with it. Is he not already walking to primary school, anyhow? Ours positively encourages year 6 to get in by themselves, if safe to do so.

Last thing he wants is his mum at the bus stop.

Phew!!!! I'm pleased that you've said that.....I live in a really nice and safe leafy part of the country but quite a few of the folk around here are incredibly super protective (i.e. won't let teenagers take public transport) and you start to second guess your own judgment!

I agree. At 11 they should be fine to walk to and from a bus stop. Like the others say, a few trial runs are a good idea so he knows what to do and where to go.

I think you're right to be concerned if he hasn't had much independence up till now. We're in a similar position.

Our 10 yr old son (July birthday) will have a shorter walk, but a road crossing and a bus change (public busses) to get to secondary school. Up to this point he hasn't been further than the corner shop on his own. After Easter we'll give solo walking to and from his primary school a go. Then we'll try a few accompanied and finally unaccompanied practice runs over the summer holidays.

I think a gently progressive introduction to independence combined with the hope that he'll be that little bit more mature in 6 months time (and maybe some sort of a GPS tracker for insurance) should mean that he'll be fine. Crucially, we've spoken to him about it, and he's up for it.

Of course, he will be 11 by September.

Agreed - I think it's important to build up to it...unfortunately I have to drive him to primary school at the moment but there are other journeys he can start to do alone....

And of course, if you have your suspicions, after a while, and happen to be walking on his route from the bus stop and catch him being an idiot, there's always the indignity of mum at the bus stop for him to consider :o

Walking to the bus in sept is absolutely ok but you need to do the baby steps to get there starting from here.

He needs to walk to the shop, or even walk part way home from school - can he meet you half way of get dropped and walk the last bit? Dd2 used to walk most of the way, then phone me and I'd cross her over our busy road at bottom of the drive as its a rat run ( and then stood at the bottom of the drive whilst she crossed herself etc).

Mine went on a school bus from age 5 as we live in the sticks. I walked them to and from the bus stop up until they were 9 and 7. Then one day I fell at home and sprained my ankle, couldn't walk or drive. I called school to warn the DC that they had to walk home alone and never went back to taking them.
At 11 he will be mortified to have mum take or meet him.
Practise first and if you really must, follow him at a distance.

A friend who is a police officer did this with her DS when he wanted to go to town alone at 11. Did a kind of spy thing followed him around all day unnoticed to see whether he would stay within the boundaries she had set .

(c) but only having done a couple of practice runs on a non-school day, so I knew he was confident about the route.

A GPS tracker for a short walk? FGS

No. The GPS would be for the 6 mile bus journey on public transport. I have a 5 year-old iphone sitting in a draw somewhere that will do the job perfectly.

DS1 started traveling home from school on a public bus when he was around 9 1/2. We did a couple of trial runs and made sure his phone was charged. He is now Yr7 (13+ school) and I am surprised that some of his friends still get picked up. We are in London. I am sure your DS will be absolutely fine.

Don't do a trial run on the first day of school - do it in the summer.

How uncool to have your mum drop you at the bus stop!

You will set him up for possible teasing if you walk him to the bus stop. Why not practice in the summer a few times so he knows where to go etc with no one watching if you are worried

(c) Obviously.
He will get a LOT of stick from others on the bus if they find he needs his Mummy to walk him to the bus stop

We live in school bus territory and I suppose that is why the local junior school encourages Y6 pupils to start walking home from school from Easter. It was a long walk for us with several major roads, I eased into it by parking a bit further from school each week.

Those first weeks in a new setting are important and having your mother at the bus stop is social death. Option c is the only way to go.

What worried me most beforehand was that mine had history for spending fifteen minutes chatting in the school corridors and I was convinced that he would never manage to get on the bus for home. I worried for nothing, he's not missed a bus home in four years.

c. Start giving him more independence from Easter, as the nights get lighter. Practice the journey together in the summer holidays and he'll be fine by September. Agree with others - mum at bus stop with younger siblings in tow = certain social death!

Would he wear something reflective on his school bag? That'd be my only concern with the early start and late finish (and possibly a dark uniform?) that he wouldn't be terribly visible to drivers when the days shorten.

When I started secondary school I had a 20 minute walk to the station, a 15 minute train journey followed be either a 10 minute bus ride or 30 minute walk to school. My mum did the journey once with me in the holidays before I started and after that I was on my own.
And as for the GPS idea - wtaf?

GPS = Find My iPhone app. What's so alarming? Its the C21. Tech's there. Use it - or not.