What should I do when the school is the biggest bully?

[intellijane]

As a mother, I feel so helpless when my daughter's position as a music scholar is being exploited to an extent that it becomes abusive. We do not even get any financial compensation out of the scholarship, the money was only a token gesture, and yet the school keeps on getting my daughter to participate in musical events skipping lessons etc. The department is only interested in quantity and not quality. My daughter is not alone but others are not willing to come forward to complain. I feel the school is turning a blind eye because no others dare to complain.

Why are you not willing to come forward and complain? What are you afraid of?

Can you give us an idea of how frequently they ask her to perform?

Solo or as part of a group?

One piece or more at a time?

Don't loose sight of the fact that you are her parent and it is your job to protect your her. If you feel that school are abusing their position you are completely within your rights (in fact you must!) ask for a an opportunity to discuss your concerns. If you are not happy with the outcome then you need to find another school.

Are you in a position to turn down the scholarship? Parents at my dcs school have done so as their dcs approach GCSEs and they don't want to be handcuffed to having to take Art or Music GCSE.

It is worth raising if you haven't. There will likely be staff in the school who are supportive of your views if she's missing too much other school work.

If it's an academically selective school and she only got in via the music scholarship; what position would turning it down leave you in?

I think you need to explain more before we can help

I have complained but the school is hinting that my daughter can resign if she cant cope. They have not accepted that they can see to the timetable and be more sensible about it. My daughter is worried that this will leave a black mark on her school record.

I think that's fairly usual for the music scholarships isn't it though.

When I was looking for dd1, then it seemed to be fairly standard that music scholarships gave you "one instrument free lessons"-which we wouldn't have wanted as we'd have wanted her to continue with the current teacher. In return the school expected attendance at all music events, joining choir (plus any other singing group), orchestra and a few other things.

I looked at them and decided that it really wouldn't be worth considering as the financial set off was minimal and the amount expected was considerable-although dd1 would almost certainly have loved doing them.
I know someone who turned down a sports' scholarship for the same reason.