Grammar or independent secondary.

[Amna12]

Hi All,
My DD 2 has received an offer of her second choice grammar secondary.
Elder DD 1 wanted to go to girls only five years ago and having unsuccessful at grammar we sevt her to independent.
She was upset 60% of the time happy 40%. DD1 is taking GCSE this year and has already applied to some grammars for sixth form as her independenthasn't finished science syllabus and she believes uni prefer grammar.
DD2 passed the test for the same Inde too and been offered place.
DD1 insists that DD2 should be sent to grammar as she's more gifted and would be challenged more there.
My problem: Inde is only 2 miles while grammar is 14 miles from home.( there's a bus)
DH is self employed and income can vary.
But if money wasn't an issue, what's better choice academically and uni placements in future.

The uni thing is a red herring - admissions tutors don't give children coming from grammars any leeway compared to applicants from independent schools. Your dd1 is getting confused about contextualised offers which certainly wouldn't apply to a high-achieving grammar!

It's also not your dd's decision about where her sibling goes to school - what does your dd2 think?

You cannot predict univerity requirements at this stage, but FWIW I doubt very much there woukd be any difference between a selective state school and a private school.

What does DD2 actually want? Which school would she see herself happy in? Who else will be on that bus journey? Is it pretty much point to point, or will she have to mess around changing? Is it a good, regular service?

Agree - where does DD2 want to go? It is nothing to do with DD1 - what suited her has no bearing on DD2.
what is DD2 most interested in - which school offers the best facilities for those interests?
Is she worried about the travel - what time will she be getting home if eg she has an after school club?
Any specialisation at either school which might be relevant?

Uni contextual data generally looks at the postcode of an applicants home address, the average GCSE grades for the school attended and the record of that school at getting pupils into top universities. So in order to get any advantage from the unis that take this into account, you need to move to an area considered poor academically (ACORN data) and the pick a school with poor GCSE results that don't send any pupils to Russell group unis, then spend the money on an army of private tutors!!!!!!!

Seriously I would go for the shorter journey, certainly at age 11. It allows easier participation in a range of extracurricular activities (less mum taxi cos she missed the bus). She can always move for sixth form when independant travelling will be easier.
(DD state grammar hasn't finished her GCSE syllabus yet either)

Thank you very much everyone.
DD2 does want to go to grammar but I guess mostly because DD1 complained at lot at the Inde.
Bus ride is point to point but you are very right.
Must sit down and have another chat.
Thanks again for taking time to reply.
You are amazing.

I only joined this morning when I posted as I couldn't sleep with worry.
Feeling much better now.

My dcs go 10 and 11 miles to school - not been a problem so far for them.

Can you let her try the bus journey a few times and then she could make an informed choice.

Your DD1 seems very dissatisfied with her indie school, which is unfortunate given it must be an expensive option. Is it worth trying to get to the bottom of what has made DD1 unhappy with the school and how/why she feels it has failed her? I think I would be very cautious about sending DD2 to an expensive school which doesn't have a great track record with my first child - especially when DD2 has other options.
I'm not saying that DD1 had a say in where DD2 goes, but her experience of the indie school could be a factor.

If you know the independent school well then surely you are in an excellent position to judge if it will suit DD2? Better than any of us. In rural areas 14 miles is a fairly normal journey to school. What advantage is the independent going to have? Who else chooses it if their children could have gone to the grammar school? Anyone? If lots leave to go to 6th form elsewhere, is that not telling you something? Go to the grammar if you have the place and use the money you save for additional transport costs if she stays later occasionally.

It depends on the actual schools. Some independents can be very good, both from a results point of view and also from a pastoral point of view. Others can be quite dire. Some grammars will get better results than others.

How clever is your dd? She's got into the grammar so must be quite good but have you any idea if she's scraped in or passed easily? If she would be towards the bottom of classes in the grammar is she the sort of kid who will strive to improve or is she the sort of kid who will get depressed at being the bottom of the class and give up?

Living in a very rural county the bus journey wouldn't even be a consideration to me. All secondary school kids near here travel fairly long distances on school buses and they cope.

Dd1's opinion on this really shouldn't count. Dd2 is her own person and may be happier at the same school than her sister. I'm guessing you don't think the school is bad as dd1 is still there?

If dd2 wants to go to the grammar and your family income can be a bit up and down Id be tempted to be thankful she likes the grammar best.

Thank you for your suggestions.
VivaLeBeaver
Dd2 didnt get a very high score as she's in s class of children of very competitive moms who sent their kids to two three tuitions and six mock tests before the exams.
Dd2 got SATS level 3 in year 2 and that made me realise that she can take the test.
I've always encouraged reading varied texts and both my girls read extensively.
I made DD2 do Sind bond books and CGP but she wasn't keen and only did if she felt like it. I didn't know of any tests and didn't make her take any.
Currently at school she's taking mock tests at level 6 for English and level 5 for maths.
So like my mum would have said, the cat can do tricks but it won't'
I guess I'm trying to say that she gets better results with minimal effort as opposed to DD1 who works really really hard to achieve similar ones.
I liked Inde as it's really close to home.
It's a good school but my DD1 was disappointed with several issues regarding teaching. I did worry a lot as she wasn't happy throughout but she was the one who wanted to go to a girls only school and the only local was this Inde.
It a small school and my friend's child's very happy there.
I agree with you all that DD2 is a different person and might be happier at Inde.
As it is she's happy that she's got a place as she wasn't keen on Inde.
She a quiet and shy child and my reason for leaning towards the Inde other than the distance was the fact that it seemed to have given a lot of confidence to DD1.
I've spoken to a few whose daughters gontonthe offered grammar and feel more optimistic now.
Thank you all for taking time to make suggestions.
I really appreciate it.

No probs. good luck.

Good choice: I wouldn't want to pay good money to a school that hasn't finished the science syllabus , and when you don't feel confident of future income!

Is her first choice grammar closer? You can stay on the waiting list once you have accepted this offer. But 14 miles on uncrowded roads doesn't seem too bad.

Dunno where u live but my dad is yr 7 at a v competitive girls grammar in sw London and I thought education is still all around not quite exam only (perhaps not yet) hothouse as many would assume. Why would u just send to grammar and use some fraction of saved school fees to move nearer?
I generally finds that schools are quite standardised (given with similar abilities) despite perceptions that one is sporty and other is arty etc etc.