Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Flip

Original poster

Is this normal or even acceptable?

23 replies

DoubletheRage · 12/02/2015 15:42

DS1 (yr9) has come home with exciting tales to tell today.

He was in cooking club at lunchtime when a gang of "100s" of boys started chanting his friend's name (also cooking) because they wanted to beat him up for some FB dispute.

DS1 apparently took friend to the Pastoral office where "head of pastoral" listened to details then asked DS1 to walk his friend home to make sure no-one was waiting for him, during school time.

DS1 then had to return to the office, to let them know he'd got back safely and this member of staff walked him to the bus stop and let him finish school 30 min early (there's no bus, so what he actually did was leave him at the bus stop for 30 mins). They have a late lunch with only one period in the afternoon, which DS missed in it's entirety - Geography.

I can't quite believe what I'm hearing.

If the boy needed an escort, surely an adult or his parent should have done it?
DS missed a whole lesson and no-one seems to know or care if there's work for him to catch up

Am I being ridiculous or is this a terrible way to carry on? Worth making a fuss over?

OP posts:

Seeline · 12/02/2015 15:54

I think it's appalling!
What would your DS have done if anyone had been 'waiting' for his friend?
Obviously your permission wasn't sought for your Ds to be out of school, or to carry out the mission, which is unacceptable.
Presumably the other boys parents weren't notified either.
What would have happened if something had happened to your Ds whilst out of school?
The teacher walked your Ds to the bus stop having already let him accompany a vulnerable boy to... where, but saw fit just to leave him there?
And he missed actual school work as well!
Gob smacked.
I would definitely be contacting the school - probably the Head or Deputy to find out if they knew that such things were happening, and how they could possibly see it as being acceptable and/or appropriate.
I am assuming of course that your DS tales of derring-do aren't just simply covering a bunking off

yellowdaisies · 12/02/2015 15:58

Sounds dreadful to me. Why didn't they just keep DS's friend in the office until a parent could come and collect him? Or arrange for a teacher or other adult to see him home safely?

And sounds like the school have a worrying bullying problem that a child is in the position of not being safe to walk home alone.

I'd definitely want to contact the school to find out what is going on

Original poster

DoubletheRage · 12/02/2015 16:00

Thanks Seeline, you've said everything I want to rant about. But, yes, I'm almost hoping the tale has been somewhat exaggerated. I do believe he missed the afternoon's lesson at the teacher's say so because of this though.

I should have said boy lives approx. 200m from school gate, does that make a difference?

OP posts:

AlpacaLypse · 12/02/2015 16:01

I think you may well find if you talk to school that events were slightly different to the version your ds has given.

Seeline · 12/02/2015 16:02

Probably less worrying than trekking half way across a city, but on the other hand it makes even more sense for a teacher to have taken him! I can't quite see why your son needed taking to the bus stop, but the 'victim' was deemed safe with a mate

Original poster

DoubletheRage · 12/02/2015 16:02

Well yes, AlpacaLypse, but I don't think Ds has invented the bit about being allowed/sent of school premises to walk him home.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 12/02/2015 16:03

I don't think it makes much difference how close to school the friend lives.

I would ask the member of staff for his version of events!

yellowdaisies · 12/02/2015 16:04

Did the school tell the boy's parents he was being sent home early? I happily leave my DC home alone at that age, but I'd be quite cross about them being sent home potentially quite upset without me being there for them.

LIZS · 12/02/2015 16:05

Are you sure it even happened ?

AlpacaLypse · 12/02/2015 16:22

Double I'm quite certain something will have happened - I just can't see any qualified person working in the pastoral care office leaving themselves so open to trouble as to suggest this walking home together thing!

Original poster

DoubletheRage · 12/02/2015 16:30

I know AlpacaLypse. I've just told him I need to know absolutely exactly what happened before I ring the school and the only thing that's changed is that the staff member waited with him at the bus stop while they chatted about what had happened - that might be what he said first time TBH and my mistake in the relaying here.

He is still adamant that he went to boy's house alone, "because Mr M had something he needed to finish."

I don't know who to call. If it is true, then I imagine it's a v big deal for the school and the staff member, so like you say why leave himself open like that? Do I speak to him or to the head/deputy?

Or is it so unlikely that I assume Ds is wrong and let it go?

I'm generally a leave the school to it kind of parent and very much in favour of picking your battles. I don't want to mark anyone's card (staff member or DS). My younger son has been in need of support from this pastoral team and they've been pretty good IMO.

OP posts:

Itsgoingtoreindeer · 12/02/2015 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WyrdByrd · 12/02/2015 16:36

If the boy only lives 200m from school, why did your DS miss the whole lesson?

There is definitely something amiss here. Speak to the school by all means - I would certainly want to check it out if my DD came home with a similar tale - but I would brace yourself for being told something quite different tbh.

Original poster

DoubletheRage · 12/02/2015 16:39

Well, they had 20mins all three of them discussing what had gone on and why, 10 mins or so to walk home and back to the office, chat some more, then Mr M said only 30 mins to go, you may as well go home and walked with him to the bus stop. No I don't know either.

I'm fully prepared to hear that the tale is a bit upside down and back to front but I don't think it will be wrong about DS leaving the school premises.

OP posts:

MrsSquirrel · 12/02/2015 16:42

If it were my dd's school, I would speak to the head of year. They are in charge of pastoral care for their students.

If ds's version of events is accurate,

BrianButterfield · 12/02/2015 16:46

Ok, what would have happened at my school would be the boy would be kept safe during the afternoon - probably at pastoral office or somewhere removed from said gang. Home would be contacted to request he was escorted home, and something put in place for the end of the day, under no circumstances would any child be sent off premises during school hours unless accompanied by a parent/guardian!

Original poster

DoubletheRage · 12/02/2015 16:48

I've dithered until there's probably no point calling tonight now and I'm seriously pre-menstrual, so probably not the best time to have a conversation where my PFB is called a liar - seem to be on a fairly short fuse/verge of tears!

I'll get DH to call them in the morning, as he sees fit

OP posts:

DontDrinkandFacebook · 12/02/2015 16:50

Not good. Not good at all. I am amazed actually, that this has happened. It sounds all a bit 1983.

MrsSquirrel · 12/02/2015 16:51

If ds's version of events is accurate, you definitely have something to complain about. They may not even have been following their own policies

AlpacaLypse · 12/02/2015 16:53

My reading is that Mr M (?, the Pastoral Head person) escorted the other boy to safety, and made an executive decision to send your DS, the witness, home as well, as there's no point in showing up for the last five minutes of a lesson in Year 9. Although come to think of it, what if homework was being handed out?

Anyway, I think you're right to leave it to tomorrow!

MrsSquirrel · 12/02/2015 16:56

I hope nobody calls him a liar! All I meant was there may have been some misunderstanding.

Still not right for him to be off school premises and missing geography.

Original poster

DoubletheRage · 13/02/2015 13:32

Yes, that's my feelings MrsS. I can't believe it can possibly be exactly as Ds describes, but he's is absolutely 100% clear that he missed the whole lesson and that the two boys went unaccompanied to the other boys' house, during lesson time.

DH thinks there's no point upsetting people and all's well that ends well, so we won't be calling. DS doesn't want us to interfere and has promised to see Geography teacher today to check on homework etc.

OP posts:

Seeker33 · 20/02/2015 11:47

Very unusual events, Needs rooting out

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread