Is it stupid to bring a complaint like this?

[var123]

Its not even that i want to complain. I am just beginning to feel that something isn't right and I want reassurance that my son is not being overlooked.

DS is high achieving in maths. He's at an outstanding secondary and everything went very well last year. However, this year (as far as I can tell):-

1. He's only being taught level 7 work this year in class despite getting level 7a last year.
2. I asked the teacher if he would sit a level 8 exam. She didn't reply for a week and then 10 mins before she wrote back to say yes, she emailed DS and some others with an invitation to do 2 hours of level 8 work with her out of class hours.
3. The teacher is taking up to a week to reply to any email I send her. All other teachers reply same day usually and within 48 hours at most.
4. DS won an award last year so i know he's one of the most able mathematicians in the school, yet I learned that he's been excluded from G&T opportunities. It can't be behaviour.
5. the teacher has never given him one of the daily class awards for good work or good behaviour, despite the fact that even she says he does all the work easily and his behaviour is never an issue.
6. The teacher refused to give me a parent's evening appointment. then she took a week (and a reminder email) to send me a one line email which only said "keeping up with work in class well".

sorry but I don't think that has got any relevance to whether I continue trying to my op.
tbh it feels like you are trying to find a way to criticize either my priorities or my parenting

If he doesn't get 8C, then how is he going to feel? How do you think he'll feel, and why are you so fixated on his Maths level?
I think lljkk's point is relevant, actually?

I thought you were concerned about your son's self-esteem.
That this was the underlying issue that concerns you.
I got impression that you felt that his lack of extension or recognition for math ability was damaging his self-esteem.
You mentioned other things about him that hamper his self-esteem.
I suggested that tackling those other things might be easier & get better results than extending his existing high skills.
It's just a line of logic.
A different way to look at the situation you're in & not happy about.
Which might be helpful yes I often wonder why I bother
What a waste of time if I said same thing as 99 other posters about your focus questions.
So more helpful in theory to point out a perspective you might want to consider indeed why did I bother?

You'll find MN is the land of unsolicited opinions.

ive been on mn since 2009 and I know how it works. ljkk is making a valid point if I wanted to ask how to boost self esteem. I believe I know. Obviously one part is gettin ds to value what he does well. Maths is one of those things. Obviously there is a lot more to it.
What I don't want this to degenerate into is a critique of my parenting skills with the op lost.

sorry var123, I shouldn't have written lots.
It's just a different perspective. Give or take as you please.

The teacher needs to divide her attention between all of all her classes. 10 working days is the standard for a reply for a letter/email. Extension should mean sideways not just forward. This is not treading water.

Two very bright mathematicians I know had lessons with older children because they were so talented - and that was in a grammar school!!! There is no way, op, that a school sets a year 8 target at the beginning of year 7. The teacher should be setting his target by marking and evaluating his current work . Do you ever look at his work books to see what his goals are? If the work is too easy, it is possible the school is not meeting his needs and I would still go and see the head of maths.

As for schools replying within 10 working days, by today's standards that is slow . A holding note is fine if something needs more investigation, but nothing for 2 weeks is unacceptable

Thanks for all your replies and sorry for not being more appreciative, LLjkk.

I probably am a bit anxious but its not really to do with Ds at all. There's other stuff going on in my life which is quite stressful.I think its just creeping into how I write about everything. But the teacher's non-communication was annoying me a bit yesterday.

The school does set year 7, year 8 and year 9 targets based on what they see in the first couple of months of year 7. I don't know why and I don't think it makes much sense, that they don't review their targets in light of unexpectedly rapid or slow progress. DS is good at maths and his target is to go up by one sub-level. He struggles massively with other subjects and missed his target by a whole level last year. However, his target didn't change and he's expected to go up 5 sublevels this year.

Two weeks to reply is incredibly slow for anyone, in any kind of business or profession. I'm glad I have nothing to do with your school, Caronaim.

Anyway, I got a reply from the teacher late yesterday evening. It was a good answer. I now understand what is going on with his SEN and that DS is extremely quiet in class. She told me that she gives the G&T opportunities to those who are a bit livelier because she can see that they really like the subject.

Now the question is what will make DS speak up more? Greater self-confidence and a personality change is the answer. The other element is that he is now bored because he is finding the work so easy. The teacher doesn't know this - I only found out myself in the last week.

I've been fighting against this low self confidence/ self esteem since he was 2. DH and I have tried everything. I could write a book about what we've done to help. The only thing that really does help is if he has friends who are more outgoing than he is. That combined with words of encouragement from his teachers and us seem to do the trick. But if anything bad happens - like the SEN diagnosis or a period of bullying - then he retreats back inside his shell where he beats himself up. Its an ongoing struggle.

Anyway, right bow, he is bored in maths because this year is all stuff he mastered a long time ago and that's contributing to him not joining class discussions. I should tell the teacher, but I am hesitating. The teacher has finally replied to my email about the G&T and the SEN. Noblegiraffe, and others, pointed out that its unfair and unrealistic to ask her to have to answer a series of emails from me. then there is the question of whether she could do anything anyway.

I really dislike it when they tie in class participation with how far they stretch them. Some children are quiet and it is perfectly alright and normal to be quiet. However the child and the parents have to really really accept that and be comfortable with it, because unfortunately some extroverts don't seem to understand that being introvert is perfectly ok.

It is also normal for some children not to bother putting their hand up when they know all of the answers - some just don't feel the need to show off. But it is a good skill to learn, in the work place you often need to be able contribute, even if it is done in a quiet and occasional way. Have you explained that it helps the rest of the class if he shares his thoughts?

Dds school also set year 8 and 9 targets, based solely on testing on entry. It was a bit bonkers really.